Tag: Motivation

Mental Health, parenting

Why is every job a mom does considered a job…. except being a mom?

Katrina Russell

We’ve all heard the chiche about a mom being a chef, taxi driver, maid, nurse, accountant, personal shopper, and the rest. It’s become a meme. There is a great video about “The World’s Toughest Job Interview” about just this. If you haven’t watched it then I suggest that you check it out.

When people say that they are stay at home moms (sahm) they are utomatically looked down on for not having big goals and aspirations. As if being home to raise your children is somehow a bad thing. If a woman says that she’s a nanny this is completely acceptable. She is out there in the “real world” making money for herself. If she is a teacher she is a hero for giving her life to the service of children. If she is a maid she is doing her best for her family.. and so on.

It doesn’t matter that her being out of the house working means that she and her husband now need to pay someone else to be a nanny, and a teacher, and quite possibly their own personal maid. The world has changed their idea of what is worthy. Instead of a great and worthy lifebeing what it always was, finding a partner to spend your life with, having children to live make sure that your legacy continues, and raising them to be pruductive members of society. Now a worthy life is making a lot of money and buying garbage you don’t need to prove that you can.

The point, the actual reason for a job is to support your family. That’s it. It’s to make sure that everyone in your family is well taken care of. Since the beginning of time people had to work to survive. Even before money was invented people had to work. This is something that is missed a lot in today’s society. Men usually worked outside by hunting, protecting, and building things. Women took care of the children, did the cooking, cleaning, and until the last couple hunded years the farming. That’s just since domesticated animals became a things and men can stay home and not have to be out in hunting teams all the time.

People grew and hunted or gathered food. People made clothes, and houses, and tools, and everything else one needs to survive. Most people did these things for their own personal use. Some cultures did these things collectively, and created a system of bartering that eventually turned into a money exchange because if someone spends 3 months building a bed and needs to exchange it for food and the only person who wants the bed has an apple farm it’ll take an awful lot of apples to pay for the bed… and then he has to trade apples for whatever else he wants. Money made the trading easier.

The reason that men traditionally “worked” is because the woman was taking care of the rest of the family. The most important part of society. What the man did for work was less important than how the mom raised her children. Now it’s reverse. Now both men and women are told they are nothing if they don’t work and having children is just a waste of time and money that could be spent on important things. Moms and dads are told that if they did make the mistake of having children it’s best to leave those children with others who aren’t as accomplished as they are to “deal with the kids” so the parents can concentrate on the important things.

Children are the most imporant things. Women who stay home do all the jobs of those who work only they don’t get paid… and they don’t have to pay out either. We need to stop telling women that they are useless if they don’t act like men, and start letting women go back to being the backbone of the family. Maybe then children will go back to being properly cared for by both a mom and a dad.

Uncategorized

My Kid Learns Just Fine

Katrina Russell

How can your kid learn anything if he’s not in school? I hear this question all the time, and to be honest I don’t get it. My kid learns just fine. He learned fine when he was in school, and he continues to learn fine now that we homeschool. I don’t think that the building that a child learns in matters. I do think that the environment that a child learns in makes a huge difference.

When my son was in school he was constantly getting in trouble for not sitting in his chair, for not doing his work in a timely manner, and for basically being a child. They requested evaluation after evaluation while all results were the same. “He is bored. You need to give him more work.”. However, the school didn’t like that answer and told me to keep getting him evaluated until someone agreed to put him on medication. That would “fix him”. Ah, yes drugs.. the cure for all that ails.

Since having that conversation I have decided to homeschool my son. Much to many people’s chagrin. They can’t possibly understand how my son can learn without sitting at a desk for 6 hours surrounded by 30 other kids. The funny thing is… he learns better.

Schools were not created to teach children how to learn. They were created to teach kids how to sit down and listen to what they are told. They were created to teach children how to transition to the next assignment that was being given . They were created to teach children how to be cogs in the wheel, and since its creation the school system has gotten worse and worse.

Schools used to teach children valid skills and facts that were needed in the future. My dad could rattle off unit conversions like I could name all the characters of my favorite TV show. They were so engrained in his mind he couldn’t understand me needing my phone to look this information up.

When I was in school we still had Home Economics classes. I can remember people fighting back saying that it’s the parents job to teach cooking and sewing and wood shop and whatever else this “Home Economics” was supposed to teach. Now of course no one can cook or sew, and no one remembers that they taught family budgeting and basic taxes, things that people are complaining about not knowing and that should be taught in school.

Not everyone needs physics, or calculus, but everyone needs to know how credit works and the importance good nutrition. Schools today are pumping out college students who just continue to “educate” themselves on useless topics which doesn’t correspond with anything in which they can make money in the future, and then complain that they didn’t understand that they had to pay back the bills which they incurred over those 4-6 years of studying.

When my kid is homeschooled he can decide which topics he would like to spend time learning. I can decide which topics I think are the most important. I can teach him why knowing unit conversion is so important by having him help me cook meals and fun deserts. or by having him build projects from scratch. Kids, for the most part learn better with hands on experience. They also learn better at their own pace.

We have our regular curriculum. We have our testing to make sure that he is learning the basics for reading, writing, and arithmetic, but we also understand the importance of learning life skills and how to use the things we learn to everyday.

parenting

When is it ok to quit?

Katrina Russell

My son started taking karate in the summer before pre-k, not because he had an interest in karate, but because his nursery teacher was concerned he wasn’t making friends and being home we me all summer would set him back even further. We had been enrolled in many other activities to get him socialized. Mommy and me gymnastics, library play group, and swim classes to name a few, but in all of them I was part of the activity. The teacher thought it important to get him into an activity that I wasn’t included, and this seemed a good fit.

The class started in a basic exercise class for 4-6 year old’s. The Sensei was great and he taught about self control on top of physical conditioning. My son made some friends and I made friends with one of the moms who’s son happened to go to school with my son. It was a great experience.

However, now the boys are almost 11 and neither of them have any real interest in the fighting aspect of karate. They both have a sweet nature and are must more likely to be playing hide and go seek at recess than joining most of the other boys for baseball or tag foot ball. My son loves music and chess and takes classes in both. He participates in the church choir and faith formation classes. Both boys also love to ski and, though not in the same school anymore, I take my son to the hill at the time of the school’s ski club so that he can see his old friends. I say all of this to both explain my son’s personality and to show that his socialization is not lacking.

So here is the question at hand. Both boys are in the class right before sparring, and both boys want nothing to with sparring. I keep thinking that he’s still only 10 and his testosterone hasn’t kicked in yet, that once that happens he’ll be more likely to want to get involved with more aggressive sports. My brother wanted nothing to do with sports as a kid and my father, who was a boxer in his youth, used to tease him by calling him “Sport Billy” (a cartoon character when we were little). Eventually, my brother went on to love wrestling and played football. Then as an adult he took Taekwondo. My nephew does a combination of the lot. I keep thinking that if I just push him to stay a little longer that he may grow into the sport.

I also feel like he made a commitment. He’s been taking this class for almost 7 year, though the first few were more about conditioning. He has been working towards his black belt. He has all the time and energy invested already…. and then I remember that he never asked to join this class. He never showed interest in karate itself. He enjoys being with his friends, and he loves the games they play, but unlike the conversation that we had about his music, chess, and skiing he never showed interest in the actual sport of karate.

So here I am. A mom with a dilemma… do I hold him to a responsibility he never agreed to just in case he decides he wants it in the future, or do I let it go and allow him to quit when it starts to get hard?

Joining Karate
parenting

There isn’t a little boy born who wouldn’t tear the world apart to save his mummy

Katrina Russell

It’s a quote from one of my old favorite shows, “Doctor Who”. Well, before it went stupid in the last few years. I had seen this episode before I had my son and thought it cute. Watching it now, as a mom of a son… it is so true.

There’s no act of love more pure than that of a little boy willing to do anything to save his mummy. Their bond is unbreakable and unconditional, and the strength of this bond has been evidenced time and time again. Even in the darkest moments, when the world seems to be against them, the powerful connection between mother and son will never break.

No matter the challenge, a little boy’s heart will always lead him to protect his mum without hesitation. When faced with danger, he will risk it all to keep her safe. He will go above and beyond, no matter the cost, to be there for her in her time of need. That’s the kind of love that only a mother and son could share.

No matter the age, a little boy will never forget the strength of the bond he has with his mum. He will remember it for years to come, and he will never forget the unconditional love that only his mum can give him. Even when tears fall down his cheeks, he won’t stop trying to save her. His courage will not waiver, and he’ll never give up, no matter the odds.

There isn’t a little boy born who wouldn’t tear the world apart to save his mummy. Their fearlessness and selflessness knows no bounds, and their bond will last an eternity. No matter the danger, the strength of a little boy’s love for his mummy will prevail.

This is one of the most important traits that a boy can have and that a mother can cultivate. Mothers love to “baby” their little boys, and keep them with them as much as possible, but this is not actually good for the boy himself. Boys have a natural instinct to protect their moms, their wives, and their children, and they should. In a world with fewer and fewer homes with men in them to help raise their children, moms have to understand the importance of raising little boys to be the men who will protect.

Today, especially in the West we think that everything should be peaceful and loving and safe. That “bad things” happen to “other people” and that as long as we put our kids in helmets and seatbelts and tell them that they are perfect just the way they are then those children will have perfect lives, but life isn’t perfect. Life isn’t safe, and it’s our jobs as moms to make our children as strong and capable as possible. Our little boys want to protect us, and it’s our job to let them.

Prayer

God is not your Valet

Katrina Russell

I hear people say it every day. “I prayed for the lottery and didn’t get it”, or, “Why doesn’t God answer any of my prayers?” or something along that line. I’m not sure that these people truly understand what God is all about. The funny thing is that it’s the people who claim to be the most Christian that are the most confused by His lack of attention to their problems. He is not a genie designed to grant all of your wishes. In fact he is not here for you at all. We are here for him.

I think the biggest reason for this is that, just like there are so many different “Christian” religions who pick and chose which parts of the Bible they want to focus on, there are just as many of those individual people belonging to each sect that picks and chooses what they want to listen to.

Yes, Jesus is our savior, sure.. you got me on that one. Jesus also died on the cross and was tortured in horrible ways beforehand. God let that happen. People always ask why God lets bad things happen as if they don’t know about Jesus and the bad that happened to him.

Of course God answers prayers. God has a plan, but both Moses and Abraham taught us that God was willing to negotiate. When God wanted to smite Sodom and Gomorrah Abraham begged God to take the innocent lives into account. Abraham repeatedly questioned God’s willingness to kill an entire city and forsake good people. God eventually agreed that if there were 10 righteous people that Gomorrah would be spared. Spoiler… there weren’t.

The point being is that God knows what can and can’t happen. You may pray that someone you are madly in love with falls madly in love with you, and they don’t…. but 5 years later you meet the love of your life and realize how wrong the other person was for you. Is that a bad thing? There’s a Garth Brooks song, “Unanswered prayers” that speaks to this. People get so obsessed with what is in front of them that they don’t think about what’s ahead for them. It’s almost as if a lot of people who claim to worship God actually think they know better.

This is not talking about people who pray for loved ones or themselves that are dying… that’s a topic for another day, but seriously what is it that makes people think that God is here to answer to you? Is that why you are Christian? Do you think that if you say that you believe in Him and that you pray to Him that He will be obligated to do your bidding, because if that’s your plan.. you are in for a rude awakening.

Addiction, Love, Mental Health, parenting

The new “free” life is killing people

Katrina Russell

I don’t understand this new trope of young people who all talk about how much they hate the grind, how capitalism is evil and people are more than just money and wages and how life shouldn’t be wasted working… while at the same time they complain that they should be given more stuff without money, wages, or working.

At the same time they are saying that love and marriage is an outdated institution and way of life, that having children is akin to slavery and a product of white supremacy and the patriarchy and the only thing of any value is having fun and getting more free stuff. I mean if that isn’t materialism and narcissism then I don’t know what is.

I understood the time when people, especially men, were working 100 hours a week and killing themselves to “keep up with the Jones’s”. The cliche was that on their death bed that they wouldn’t be thinking about the deals they didn’t make, or the car they never bought, but the time they missed with their family and their loved ones. Now it seems that love is the bad kind of 4 letter word. As if having someone to love is somehow a detriment to your own freedom and happiness.

Everyday on social media there are posts, especially from women about how they aren’t going to succumb to the old patriarchal regime of being a mom and putting their needs on the backburner for someone else. They aren’t going to give up their girls night out and their shoe collection for some crying, drooling brat, as if A. kids have no worth in and of themselves more than shoes, and B. Kids never grow out of the infant stage and won’t be there to take care of their parents’ crying, drooling asses one day.

The Western world has become consumed with being as “free and happy” as possible without any responsibility, or anything getting in their way, and yet the Western world has become fraught with mental illness, drug addiction, and violence. People are more miserable today in a world of ease than ever before. In fact people are looking for things to be angry about instead of just enjoying what they have… mostly because people don’t have anything worth having. They don’t know what it’s like to earn something tangible, never mind what it’s like to earn respect.

People think that relationships are about everything the other person can give or do for you. It’s about making sure that you never feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. Life is about the fastest way to get a dopamine hit, whether through drugs themselves or through constant social media yes men telling you how amazing you are. If a relationship hits a snag and the other person doesn’t want to do the same thing that you want then they are holding you back and quite possibly abusing you. If a child comes along then they are a threat to your very way of life and must be killed immediately before it gets a chance to be seen.

People have been turned into a group of individuals that hate people, not just others, but themselves as well. They think that any kind of work is oppressive, as if the things that they want just appear out of no where and someone else doesn’t have to work to make them. They think that they are the star of the show and anyone who disagrees with them is the antagonist in their story and must be destroyed. People today would rather live in a computer than talk to their neighbors…. and the overdose and suicide rates show that this new life view is killing them.

Addiction, grief, Homeless

We need to talk about men and mental health

Katrina Russell

Let me start by saying that I didn’t know the man. I only watched him on TV and have no understanding of what his life was like, but for anyone to think that suicide is the only answer is just sad to me.

The other day as I was carelessly scrolling I saw in my news feed that Billy Miller had died. Unless you’re a middle aged woman who was raised with a grandmother or mother watching soap operas you probably don’t know who he is. I, however, fit into that category and had quite the crush on his Ritchie Novak character when he was on All My Children. Of course he was the bad boy and did horrible things, but he was hot and made the show fun.

When he took over the role of Jason Morgan on General Hospital I was both heartbroken that the real Jason wasn’t coming back, but somewhat excited to see Billy again. I am strictly an ABC soap watcher and I know he played a Billy on another soap on some other channel, but that’s none of my business. He did a really good job in the role and the writers actually did a great job of rewriting his character when Steve Burton came (he had a twin… cuz of course he did). I was sad when he was written off and then when he was replaced, though I do love Cameron Mathison and what he has brought to the role, but this is not supposed to be about my old lady appreciation for soap operas.

The other night when I was laying in bed scrolling my feed I saw that Billy Miller had died. I was surprised. He was a young guy; only 43. He had a decent career, and all of his soap friends were Xing messages about their love for him. He was wicked attractive and seemed, on the outside to have everything going for him. I wondered if it was an accident, or you know… a sudden heart attack or stroke which seems so common today. Maybe it was an accidental overdose. I know from experience they can how many people are afflicted with that horrible disease.

The next day I read about his battle with bi-polar disorder. It was a little surprising to read about. There are other actors on the show who have been open about their illness, and a lot of celebrities today have come out in order to spread awareness, but I didn’t know the man, and to be honest I don’t usually look into the actors’ personal lives because that can sway my opinion on their characters, but still he always seemed so happy.

I guess that is the point of my writing. I finally heard that he killed himself. “They always seemed so happy”, is something often said about those who end up committing suicide. I don’t know if they are good at hiding it, or if people just don’t bother to really pay attention. After you always hear about people looking back and trying to figure out if there were signs, but that seems pointless.

In the US men make up 75% of all suicides, while in Europe it is more like 80%. However men are half as likely to seek mental health treatment than women. These statistics are obviously correlated, but why is a bigger question. Are men not seeking treatment and therefore just deciding to kill themselves? Are men seeking treatment but being told by both society and more than likely the feminist psychologist who they seek treatment from that their problems don’t really matter because they are some sort of oppressive class that needs to apologize for how they treat everyone else? Are they just diagnosed and handed a bottle full of pills and told that will make them feel better? If that’s the case men are also dying from drug overdoses 2-3 times more than women. This may be the reason why almost twice as many men are homeless compared to women.

Men are constantly being told that they need to talk about their feelings at the same time being told that their feelings are invalid and that the things that they care about are evil and the patriarchy. Men talk about how they feel useless because they lose or can’t get a job and can’t provide for their families. They feel emasculated because they can’t find a woman worthy of marriage. They feel pathetic because they aren’t living up to their vision of what they feel their lives should be. Then they are told that they have no right to feel these ways. That they should take a back seat to the woman’s needs. That they shouldn’t even try to “subjugate” a woman by marrying her and “forcing her to have his babies and be a slave”.

When in a relationship men are constantly getting flack if they want to spend time with their friends over their wife and kids sometimes, and yet women can’t wait for their girl time. Women spend hours on the phone with friends or when they become moms they spend hours in the playgrounds or at coffee shops with their friends setting up playgroups for their kids.. men work, and when they want to do something with their friends in their spare time the are guilted by the woman for not being home.

Men are told they are stupid. They are told their opinions don’t matter… today they are told they are born evil just because they are men. It’s like the new version of “original sin”. There’s nothing a man can do to be considered a good person in some eyes, and when they ask for help they are “helped” into more misery by being told by society to aim for the frivolous. They shouldn’t want relationships or kids, they should want a revolving door of women, then they are told by society that they are evil for using women.

If they do get married they have no real rights. If the woman cheats and divorces him then he loses half of his money and possessions. If the couple had kids they automatically end up with the ex wife, that is if the ex allowed his children to be born in the first place and didn’t murder them in the womb. Men have no “privilege” in the eyes of family court, and yet they are constantly labeled oppressors for wanting basic respect.

Women have loads of problems navigating the world, I’m not trying to deny that, but people have to realize that men do too. Too many of our brothers, sons, husbands, and fathers are losing the battle. They are killing themselves, overdosing, or just ending up in jail because society has turned their backs on teaching them what it really means to be a man, and if we’re not careful it’s going to spread to women not understanding what they bring to the table as well, and all of society will crumble.

cancel culture, free speech, Homeless, Mental Health, parenting, Politics

School Choice is about the Parent’s choice not the Government’s choice.

Katrina Russell

I belong to so many Facebook groups it’s ridiculous. As a homeschool mom I like keeping in touch with other homeschool parents to see what kinds of curriculum they use, what kinds of activities they have coming up, and of course it’s a great way to keep up on rules and laws in the area.

I only started homeschooling my son last year, but I have been teaching homeschoolers on-line for a few years. I started right before Covid and have seen homeschooling explode since then. The more that I talk with people the more I see how many different reasons people have for choosing homeschool. Some people have had problems with their local public schools. Some people choose to include more religious teaching in their schooling. Some just live in communities that don’t have the best schools. And of course there are those who just feel that between school shootings and Covid schools are safer. Some just want to spend their children’s childhood with their children instead of sending them off for 7 hours a day.

Regardless of the reason for choosing homeschooling they are all happy that they had that choice. Which is why I think it’s so hypocritical that so many homeschool moms are against school choice. They literally made the choice to take their kids out of the public schools for whatever reason and now they want to make sure that other’s don’t have the same opportunity.

A lot of these moms use the excuse that they don’t want the government involved in their kids schooling and that places like California who passed their version of school choice now has the government all up in the business of homeschoolers. That is just BS. California also has homeless people crapping on people’s front doorsteps and shoplifting is no longer a crime. Just because one state is crazy doesn’t mean that every other state needs to be punished. This is the whole purpose of Federalism.

School Choice, real School Choice is about getting the government out of the decisions made about the schools. It’s about a family deciding that the government school is garbage and they want to take the tax dollars attached to the child and putting it towards whichever kind of education the family chooses. Maybe it’s a different town, maybe it’s a private or Charter school, maybe it’s a religious school, or maybe it’s homeschooling. The government doesn’t get a say in the education of the children just because they collect the money from the tax payers.

I don’t know when the American people started to think that the government was in charge. They literally work for us. We elect them. We pay them. They are put into office to safeguard against people who try to take away our rights and to enact new laws that coincide with what the citizens in the area need or want in their communities. Somehow people now think that the government is the boss of the people, and put in office to tell us what to do.

We need to stop telling each other that we can’t have things because the government will stop us. We have to start telling the government that they can’t have things or we will stop them. Our kids are just that… OURS. They are not for the government to raise. They are not for the government to control. Their education is our responsibility and if we CHOOSE to take the money that the community allotted to our kids and spend it on curriculum that we approve of the government just has to hand us a check and say, “you’re welcome”. Or they can find themselves recalled and we’ll find people who do listen to We The People.

Addiction, Love, Mental Health, parenting, Politics

No one can do everything, and we need to stop telling people that they can.

Katrina Russell

We have to stop telling children, especially little girls, that they can do everything themselves. No one can. We used to understand this. We used to understand the importance of family and marriage and partners, but somewhere along the lines people, and especially girls started being told that they can do everything. That they don’t need anyone else. That, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”, as Irina Dunn coined.

In reality everyone needs people. The family unit was set up as a way of complementing each other’s strengths and working together. It’s easier to share responsibilities than trying to do them all by yourself. This seems like commonsense, but somewhere along the line ego got in the way and suddenly “I can do it myself” became the motto.

This is not to say that there are things that women or men can’t do. Of course most people are capable of anything that they put their minds too, but they can’t do everything. There are only so many hours in a day. There is only so much energy to be expended. Eventually you run out and the person told that they can do everything feels like a failure when they can’t.

Telling someone that they can do everything is similar to telling a child that they can have everything that they want in a store. Say you have $300 and you take a child to Target. You can tell them that they can have anything that they want, they just have to choose. Maybe they pick a giant Lego set, and have $100 left to spend and you tell them, “oh that’s great, why don’t you add a book and a game on top of that”. You leave the store and the child is ecstatic.

Now say you have the same child and the same $300 and you go into Target and tell them they can have everything that they want. Now the kid is loading up cart after cart of everything they could possibly desire in the slightest. You head to the register and start piling things out. Then you tell the cashier to stop when they reach $300. The child is confused. They don’t even know what they got. Maybe the thing they really wanted hasn’t even been taken out of the carriage yet. Now the child is devastated and let down. It’s “The worst birthday ever!” even though they got $300 worth of things they kind of wanted.

This is how we treat people, and especially women today. We tell them to go for everything they want. They go to school, they change majors a few times, they date around a bit, they start to work on a career, and everything seems good. They are getting everything they want. Now they’re 35, and single and thinking, “next on my list: husband and kids”. They look around and all the guys are kind of jerks, or giant children because they have also been told that they can have whatever they want and they just spent the last 20 years getting all the hook ups they could ask for without having to put anything into the relationship or grow up at all. Why should they? The women can handle everything.

Now the woman is like, “ok, clock ticking. I want kids, but I need a man for that. I also want to be able to raise my kids myself and not send them off with the nanny.” The world says, “ok, just find a guy and get started”. But those guys were left in the carriage when you ran out of money and some other girl who knew what she wanted came along and bought him already. The woman is left with what ever was the easiest to throw up on the register first and didn’t actually get a chance to choose.

I know, you’re going to say, “Not all women want to get married. Not all women want kids”. That is true, but most do, and all at least want the opportunity to decide for themselves and not just get left with whatever was in the first carriage.

Instead of telling kids that they can do everything we need to tell them that they can do anything that they choose, and then teach them how to make good choices. Otherwise we’re going to have more and more generations of self medicating, drug addicted, miserable people who think the idea of abortion and government sponsored suicide are great ideas, because, “this is the worst life ever” when you don’t understand how to get what you really want.

crop alluring woman sitting on bed with flowers and retro photo camera
Love, Mental Health

Just Celebrate Yourself

Katrina Russell

People seem to hate Valentine’s Day. It’s either a couple, usually the man in the couple, complaining that they don’t need a commercialized holiday to tell his sweetie that he loves her, or it’s a single person complaining that it’s just a day to remind them that they are lonely. Everyone hates Valentine’s Day.

Personally, I agree that no one should need a day to remind them to show their loved one that they love them, but with divorce rates what they are maybe people need a little more reminding. You can love your spouse, significant other, bae (is that still a thing), but are you showing them that you love them?

One of the biggest complaints in marriages that lead to divorce is that one or both parties feel taken for granted or like the spark is just gone from their relationship. All-in-all they just don’t feel loved. Now imagine that you’re in that relationship in which you feel taken for granted and your loved one says, “I don’t need to be told to love my wife”. Maybe you do. Maybe everyone needs a reminder that they are loved and appreciated. Days go by quickly; then weeks; then months. The next thing you know it’s been a year and you haven’t had a date night. You haven’t had alone time. You haven’t really been “loving” each other.

Valentine’s day give you an excuse to forget everything else. It’s the excuse to your boss, “sorry, I can’t work. If I miss Valentine’s Day, my wife is going to kill me.”. It’s a reminder to pay just a little more attention to your love. Maybe even get that little bit of attention you’ve been asking for, but she’s had a headache since your birthday. No one says that you have to shell out cash and buy her candy, or flowers. No one says you have to make it a commercialized day. You can make her dinner if she always cooks. She can watch that movie with you that she always rolls her eyes at. Making it commercialized is almost a cop out.

The next time you roll your eyes at the thought of Valentine’s Day. A day literally designed to show your appreciation for the one you love, just remember how much energy you put into a Football game you weren’t playing last week. Which is really more important to you, and which one is really about commercialization. There’s a whole culture around Super Bowl COMMERCIALS.

And, for those of us who are alone on days like this it is important to remember that being alone isn’t a punishment. Being alone is a great time to get to know yourself and figure out what you want in your life. You can take yourself to your favorite restaurant, watch your favorite movie, put on your favorite music and dance around your living room in your undies… leave the curtains drawn and you’ll see lots of people who want you. Just saying.

Me, I bought my 8-year-old son a Reece’s PeanutButter Cup teddy bear, that he appropriately named Reece, and a blue raspberry gummy remote control that he licked for breakfast because he didn’t want to “ruin it”. Later today I may even take him out for dinner for some quality mom and son time. Because Mondays aren’t just for yelling about homework. Everyone needs to know they are loved.