My son started taking karate in the summer before pre-k, not because he had an interest in karate, but because his nursery teacher was concerned he wasn’t making friends and being home we me all summer would set him back even further. We had been enrolled in many other activities to get him socialized. Mommy and me gymnastics, library play group, and swim classes to name a few, but in all of them I was part of the activity. The teacher thought it important to get him into an activity that I wasn’t included, and this seemed a good fit.
The class started in a basic exercise class for 4-6 year old’s. The Sensei was great and he taught about self control on top of physical conditioning. My son made some friends and I made friends with one of the moms who’s son happened to go to school with my son. It was a great experience.
However, now the boys are almost 11 and neither of them have any real interest in the fighting aspect of karate. They both have a sweet nature and are must more likely to be playing hide and go seek at recess than joining most of the other boys for baseball or tag foot ball. My son loves music and chess and takes classes in both. He participates in the church choir and faith formation classes. Both boys also love to ski and, though not in the same school anymore, I take my son to the hill at the time of the school’s ski club so that he can see his old friends. I say all of this to both explain my son’s personality and to show that his socialization is not lacking.
So here is the question at hand. Both boys are in the class right before sparring, and both boys want nothing to with sparring. I keep thinking that he’s still only 10 and his testosterone hasn’t kicked in yet, that once that happens he’ll be more likely to want to get involved with more aggressive sports. My brother wanted nothing to do with sports as a kid and my father, who was a boxer in his youth, used to tease him by calling him “Sport Billy” (a cartoon character when we were little). Eventually, my brother went on to love wrestling and played football. Then as an adult he took Taekwondo. My nephew does a combination of the lot. I keep thinking that if I just push him to stay a little longer that he may grow into the sport.
I also feel like he made a commitment. He’s been taking this class for almost 7 year, though the first few were more about conditioning. He has been working towards his black belt. He has all the time and energy invested already…. and then I remember that he never asked to join this class. He never showed interest in karate itself. He enjoys being with his friends, and he loves the games they play, but unlike the conversation that we had about his music, chess, and skiing he never showed interest in the actual sport of karate.
So here I am. A mom with a dilemma… do I hold him to a responsibility he never agreed to just in case he decides he wants it in the future, or do I let it go and allow him to quit when it starts to get hard?
Katrina Michelle Russell 