This was Da's first birthday since his death day.. which I have no idea how I'm going to deal with.. but I still felt like the day should be observed. I still felt like my son should have the opportunity to celebrate the life that his Da had. No matter how sadly it ended.
Now I read this article about Sesame Street talking to millions of kids about their parents. Millions of kids whose mommies and daddies have to stay sober using nothing but will power. My son is not the only kid I know whose parent has died from the crisis.. my son is not the only kid I know that needed a monitor to make sure he was safe when his Da was using.
Then he told me, "I wish I wasn't smart". I was completely taken aback. I had no idea what he was talking about. He said that he was so tired and so angry all the time. That he didn't want to do any of his work because of it. That if he wasn't smart that no one would care if he did his work or not and they would just leave him alone.
I can tell you that I have had a handful of significant deaths in my life, and I have reacted to them differently every time. Some of the differences are based on their relationship to me, some of them have been because of my age. Some of the differences are just because the more loss you have; the more you get used to it.
Two years ago I finally said enough was enough. He was out of my house for the third time, and back in jail for assaulting his mom when I told him that he had to go to re rehab. Not a 2 week or 30 day dry out, but a real program that really worked on the heart of his issues. He refused. His mother agreed that as long as he had dried out and promised to stay sober that was all that mattered. I knew that one of these days things were going to go to far and I didn't want my son or me anywhere near it.
A lot of people are saying that it's not a race thing but that the Little Mermaid just has to be a ginger.. because she was last time.. in that one other Disney movie. Funny.. I remember watching "Into the Woods", another Disney adaptation of a collection of fairy tales and Anna Kendrick was cast as Cinderella... now I don't know about you, but in my childhood Cinderella was ALWAYS blonde, and Miss Anna is definitely not blonde, nor does she play one on TV.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Sometimes are you have are bad choices, but you still have to choose
Instead of spending your time trying to figure out where you fit in. You should live your life to your standards, your needs, and your talents
Mom shaming is the worst form of women bullying