Self talk has to be one of the most important things that we do to and for ourselves. A lot of people poke fun at affirmations or positive thinking. They think it’s a woo woo science and that it’s all just a gimmick. Ironically it has been widely recognized that emotional abuse to a child is a real thing.
If a child is raised in a household where he/she is continuously told that they are bad, or ugly, or useless or whatever negative things they are bombarded with they will usually grow up to have low self esteem, behavior problems, not do as well in school, get into drugs… this is all classic text book science. Children are regularly taken away from parents who abuse them emotionally, or they spend countless years and dollars on therapy as they get older.
If a woman is in a relationship with a man and she is constantly being undermined. If she is told that she doesn’t do anything right, that she is horrible, and stupid and ugly and she should feel lucky that the man is good enough to be with her.. that is abuse… she would be told to leave a relationship like that immediately.
As a mom we are told to encourage our children whenever possible. And not just generic encouragement like “good job!” but specific detailed encouragement like, “you’re a very good listening”, “you did a wonderful job cleaning up” and so forth. We are told that speaking to a child like this over and over will help them have higher self-esteem and grow into better functioning adults.
So why is it that people think that the things that we say to ourselves don’t matter? When I was younger I can remember always saying, “I’m tired” all the time. My father used to get so annoyed by that… “of course you’re tired… you keep telling yourself that you are”. In my tween years I would write on my books “I love Billy” or whomever.. over and over.. and my dad would point out that it was a form of brainwashing.
BRAINWASHING… think about that… what we tell ourselves over and over we are actually brainwashing ourselves to believe. So… if we are always thinking.. “I’m fat.. I’m ugly.. no one will ever love me” guess what our brains are going to believe? Our minds are very powerful things. They control almost everything about ourselves. From our actions to our hormone levels. If our brains believe that we are fat and useless, what do you think will happen to our metabolism? What do you think it will do to our cortisol levels?
We as humans are our minds.. we are our souls.. we are what’s on the inside. If we are constantly abusing ourselves we will become the victims of our own creation. It takes practice… it takes work.. but we can create a better life with better thoughts. Thoughts lead to action, action leads to change