Like Mother Like Daughter

I see articles everyday from women talking about how they don’t want their daughters to learn their horrible habits. Whether it be their bad eating and exercise habits or their obsessive behavior to stay thin at all costs.

There was an article about a woman who weighed herself every morning and she realized that she didn’t want her daughter to inherit her same self worth issues. There was another who wrote about how real beauty has nothing to do with jean size and all to do with the person inside. There was a woman who struggled with how to tell her daughter about her past eating disorders.

weigh-in-reasons-youre-not-losing-weightMy question is why does it take women having kids to realize their worth? One woman wrote how for the first time she was putting value on herself and expecting things from other people. I think of all the other women and mothers who never manage to love themselves as much as they love their children and what that actually teaches their children.

We all want to do what’s best for our kids. I’m in many mom groups and read many articles. I see comments all the time with nothing but judgement of how other mothers are raising their kids. How all moms should breastfeed. Only organic healthy food… and all of this sounds GREAT! I know that was my plan in the beginning… so then why is childhood diabetes on the rise?

We need to look at our own habits. Our kids will eat what we eat… regardless of what we tell them. The same moms saying they will only feed their kids healthy fruits and veggies are the same moms stopping at Starbucks and McDonalds because they’re too busy.. or need a boost.

As women and mothers we have to start putting ourselves and our health first early.. and teach through example. I don’t know anyone who wants to die an early death and leave their child behind… and I don’t know anyone who wants to bury their child because of diabetes and heart disease. Instead of worrying about how you look in your jeans or the number on the scale, why not think about how to live longer, stronger and happier?


A real conversation about FAT

There is no bigger topic out there today than weight. The problem is that people are forgetting what “fat” really is. I saw a YouTube video of Nicole Arbor that has people going crazy apparently, she was even on The View talking about it. The problem is that I don’t disagree with her.

I havhqdefaulte been overweight for most of my adult life. I know that it is from my lifestyle. I do not have any type of disease or disorder that is causing my weight to pile on; I have just lived a fairly stagnant lifestyle for way too long. I worked a full-time office job while in school full time, and had a rather long commute to each, so exercise and even movement was not easy for me to do. When I did have the time I love hiking, swimming, taking long walks, but I just didn’t take the time to fit it into my schedule. I also had a tendency to “grab a bite” where I could… which is NEVER healthy.

I had my first child a few years ago and decided that it was time to break the habit. I didn’t want my son growing up with the same health concerns that I knew I’d be facing…. I’d like you to think about that sentence. I didn’t say that I wanted to look hot, that I wanted to be the sexy mama.. I wanted my child to be HEALTHY!

Obesity is a HUGE problem in this country, Hell, it’s a huge problem in the world! Diabetes, heart disease, as well as the physical strain that it puts on bones, muscles and joints are actually killing people. When everyone talks about weight they talk about beauty, either they want to be more beautiful by losing weight or they want to be accepted as beautiful while being obese. I don’t know how this became a thing. Obesity is dangerous. It causes more deaths than any other diseases and it’s treated as a cosmetic problem.

I saw an article about a teen girl being bullied for being obese in her prom pictures and she was so devastated that she wished that she had never gone to the prom at all. I was reading through the comments and one woman had commented on how the new “positive body image” trend isn’t helping anyone and that someone needs to talk to this girl about her health. Though I agree with her sentiment I also believe there is a time and a place. She posted the prom pictures to celebrate her life and it was a lovely dress and she looked beautiful. Making someone feel ugly… especially a teen girl.. is not helpful to anyone. We have to keep “fat” conversation about health, beauty is a completely different topic.

There was another article about a plus sized model in which someone had made a similar comment about teaching teens that it’s ok to be plus sized and almost as if there was something to strive for. Here is my issue with that. Plus size is anything 10-12 and above. 10-12 in some stores is considered between a Medium and a Large… which is NOT actually plus sized! It’s a normal healthy size. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes, someone 5’2 is not going to be the same size as someone 5’10. Someone athletic is not going to be the same size as someone less muscular. There are different size frames and different bust and hip sizes. All of this makes a huge difference in what size a person actually wears.

Nicole Arbour talks about how the new #bodypositive isn’t going to unclog your arteries and she’s right. For some reason we’re so afraid to talk to people about their bad habits when it’s about weight, but they are killing themselves. If you saw someone smoking or doing drugs you would have no problem calling them out about how they are destroying their bodies with their bad, unhealthy habit… but because weight is linked to beauty we feel as though we are calling someone ugly if we comment.

I started this article telling you about how I have been overweight most of my life and decided to change for my son. I’m still working on it.. and it’s not easy, especially now that I’m 40, but I lost my father last year to Diabetes.. and I don’t want my son to ever have to go through that. I am a beautiful person… inside and out, and I love my son more than anything… certainly more than pizza and chocolate. I am losing weight for him. Not so that I can be the hot mama.. so that I can be his mama.. for a long long time!