Who is your best friend?

My son and I were watching his silly little cartoon,  want to say Pac-Man, and they were talking about best friends. This is an interesting concept and I wanted to know what my now 5 year old thought on the subject. I asked him who he felt his best friend was. His response surprised me. He pointed to himself. I asked him to clarify and he said, “I’m my own best friend, mama”.

It seemed so simple and so obvious.. to him. To me I was blown away. He is right though. He is completely at peace with himself. He plays by himself all the time. He’s an only child and I’m a working, single mom. He plays with trucks, and blocks, and his doll house. As I type I can hear him downstairs singing to himself.. probably dancing as well.. and all the while completely happy and comfortable being alone.

I’m not sure when we lose this ability. As we grow the idea of spending time by ourselves seems to feel lonely instead of peaceful. I have often gone to the movies by myself and have been questioned why I would do that. It seems like an odd question. Why do I choose to sit in a dark room watching a screen while not being able to talk to others… by myself.. well… why not?

I have also gone on a couple of vacations by myself. People really don’t get this. How could I possibly have fun by myself. To be quite honest I have gone on vacations with my friends and had a horrible time. I end up doing what other people want instead of what I want. I am not a beach sitter.. I am not a gambler.. I am not a day waster… I like to go to museums and local cultural events. I don’t always have someone who wants to come with me. So I venture out into the world and meet people as I go. I, like my son, am my own best friend. I just never thought about it that way.

Don’t get me wrong. People need a support group. They need their tribe and their social interactions.. They need to be and feel loved and wanted. They just need to feel it from themselves first. We need to get back to the innocence. We have to remember what it was like to be our own best friend. We have to remember what it was like to love ourselves and think ourselves enough. If we can’t be happy with ourselves, we’ll never be able to be happy with someone else.