bullying, coaching, Health, Law of Attraction, Motivation, Uncategorized, Wellness, women

Friends are not always the most encouraging when it’s time for a change.

Have you ever known someone whom lost a boat load of weight, I’m not talking like 10-20 lbs. I mean like 50-100 lbs, and managed to keep it off? The first question people always ask is how they did it, and they are always disappointed when they are told the person changed their eating habits and/or exercised. No one wants to do that.

imagesEveryone wants to change.. without actually changing. These same people will see the new and improved, healthier person out at dinner or a party and say, “oh, you can have some cake”.. or the drink.. or what have you, “you have to live a little” or “a little won’t kill you” or something along those lines.

I have always found this extremely disparaging. It is a way of completely undermining the work the person has done. It’s not easy to “stick” to a healthy diet. It takes A LOT of work. Most people have to over come addictions, and other mental health coping mechanisms to get there. It really does take changing.

I couldn’t imagine someone saying the same thing to an alcoholic. “Oh, wow, you haven’t had a drink in a year! That’s amazing! Let’s celebrate with shots. One won’t kill you”. It’s a slippery slope. Now that’s not to say that someone who has lost weight can never have a piece of birthday cake again. I mean… maybe the person does decide that their addiction is too strong and it’s best not to, or maybe they feel that they have dealt with their habits enough that they can indulge on an occasion, but the point is that it’s the healthy person’s decision on how they handle their food intake. They know what is and isn’t OK for them.

I don’t think that most people who try to encourage the healthier person to “Live a little” downloadis trying to bully them or sabotage them. I think most people are just trying to include their friends.  I think that most people just want to act like the food is not a big deal, but it is.. to some people, and pretending that it’s not doesn’t help anyone. That being said, there are some that go the other way. There are those “friends” that don’t want you to succeed because they haven’t. You know the old saying, “Misery loves company”.

If you are on your path to a healthier you. Whether it’s weight-loss, substance abuse, or weight-loss-kratomeven getting a better job, be careful of your peers. Be careful of those who seem to always lead you down the path of the dark side… with those cookies. You know the voices that you hear in your head that say it’s ok… you can just have one… well, they are hard enough to ignore. When you hear them from those who love you it’s even more challenging.

If you want to change your life, that mean you have to CHANGE your life. It won’t be easy. There is no magic pill. You can’t half-ass it. But you can become what ever you imagine yourself to be… you just have to do the work.

coaching, Health, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness, women

Eat yourself happy

We all talk about our diets in terms of our bodies. Either we want to look better or be healthier or some other physical idea of feeling better. We know that when we look better we feel better. We know that when we get healthy we feel better, but we never talk about how our diets actually affect our mental health. 

Most people don’t realize that a good amount of American’s are malnourished. Now, I’m not just talking aboutimages (20) those starving and living on the streets. I’m talking about those that live off of fast food and snacks. Have you ever looked at the side panel of the food that

 

we eat? I don’t just mean the calories, or fat intake. I’m not even talking about the protein or sugar, though they both play a huge role, I’m talking about actual vitamins and minerals. A lot of our packaged foods don’t even have a label for anything more than iron, sodium or maybe potassium.

In the book “Good Omens” by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett they have a modernized download-6version of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. In this “Famine” is not a beast causing droughts or potato plagues he is the owner or a fast food chain. He talks about how he’s killing people slowly with their permission. Not only are they getting fat and causing their own diabetes and heart disease but they don’t even realize that they are malnourished. Because they are full.

There has been a link made to too much sugar and worsening symptoms of depression and schizophrenia. Not enough zinc and Omega fatty acid can affect brain development in general. This is why breastfeeding is the preferred way to feed babies, and the recommendations are changing and saying it’s best to give children breast milk till download (27)they’re 3. My son stopped on his own a little over one, so I changed to a toddle formula that included DHA and other nutrients that milk doesn’t have and that I know my son would fight me in eating.

There is an add that pops up on my facebook feed all the time about Micro-nutrients and how important they are for children with ADD/ADHD and other behavior problems. This isn’t a lie. The whole point of the add is to sell some special high micro-nutrient shake for way too much money to worried moms, but in reality micro-nutrients are just vitamins and minerals found in REAL food. Unprocessed fruits, veggies, and meats.

So by all means if you have a kid like mine who goes days living off of crackers and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, then absolutely invest in a shake, or a vitamin, or images (1)cover your fruit with chocolate, what ever gets your kids to eat them. But as a grown up, you have the choice to make about what you want to eat. So instead of always reaching for the pills or the chocolate or whatever helps your mood swings and depression, try talking to your doctor about which vitamins are best to help. And a little cardio can’t hurt.

 

coaching, Health, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness, women, Women's movement

It’s called a vagina

Panel-1I can’t believe this is even a thing that I have to deal with. I have a son, and it never occurred to me that this would come up.

When my son was a baby we called his penis his “winky”. It was just a cute name that I didn’t think much about. It’s like calling his toes “tootsies”. I eventually taught him that it was a penis, but in regular conversation we call it a “winky”. Not a big deal.

Then my son was 3. He came in the bathroom with me and for the first time noticed that mama didn’t have a winky. He asked where it was. I explained that girls don’t have them… but then I froze. I didn’t know what else to say. It’s called a vagina.  But I couldn’t do it. I was raised in the 80s when that was a dirty word. I felt like saying that to him would be like teaching him a curse word.

It is ridiculous. He was young and just kinda forgot about it. Last week he came in the bathroom after I got out of the shower and he commented on my “butt”. That is what he decided to call my vagina since I never gave him a name for it, and let’s face it.. from his perspective they look the same. He’s never seen inside one.

I feel like this is an example of why women are treated like second class citizens. Men are completely comfortable with their body parts. They are proud of them. Women have been taught that for some reason our parts are dirty or wrong.

In the last year vagina has been in the press along. Our president admitting to “grabbing pussy” when ever he wanted. People started talking about pussy in everyday conversation. But the word “pussy” has a porn connotation.  I feel like using that word to describe what he did makes people, especially men, feel like the woman who’s parts he was grabbing was some how asking for it. Men don’t think of their moms and daughters as having pussy. They think of slutty hags as giving their away.

I feel like we need to take our vaginas back, and before I get a bunch of comments about how it’s not called a vagina and only one section of it is, it’s the name that is colloquially known to be the main part. The penis has different parts too, but no one fights about it.

I saw a quote attributed to Betty White, “Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding!”.  Now whether or not she actually said it the quote has a point. We are not the weaker sex. We are not dirty. We are not less than.

To quote JK Rowling, “Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” The fact that men have trouble talking about anything female proves the point. We need to use this. We need to talk about ourselves as whole. We shouldn’t hide our femininity. We shouldn’t be ashamed that we have periods. We should hide when we breast feed. We shouldn’t be afraid to use the word vagina. We are women. We give birth to humans. We have no fear.

coaching, Health, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness

What’s really killing Americans

I had a very interesting conversation today with my plumber. He was in my basement working on my boiler’s pressure valve and he kept getting a little dizzy and lightheaded. Obviously I wanted to make sure the man wasn’t going to pass out and/or die, so I inquired on why he thought it was happening.

Turns out he had, in the last year, lost 100 lbs. Wow, that’s impressive, why would that cause him to have these issues. Well, he was on blood pressure medication and now that he’s lost so much weight, they keep lower the dose. He has an appointment to see if he can get of it completely because, well, he doesn’t want to pass out every time he has to bend over too much… kind of inconvenient for a plumber.

cholesterolawareness_355pxWe started talking about other ailments that he had since he has corrected his eating habits. He’s off of his IBS medication and his gout is gone…. he is like a new person. This was not accomplished by surgery, the medication only treated the symptoms… the change in diet and loss of the extra 100 lbs he was carrying attributed to changes he otherwise couldn’t have imagined.

According to the CDC 75 million or 29% of Americans have high blood pressure 75 million or 29% of Americans have high blood pressure, 137 million have high cholesterol, 29 million people have type 2 diabetes.. and these are just the major diseases.. this isn’t getting into IBS or gout, yet, most of these people choose to treat rather than cure, what is potentially life threatening diseases. In fact, 610,000 deaths a year are contributed to heart attacks… that’s 1 in 4 deaths that actually take place in the US.

I know right now that guns and terrorism and texting while driving are major hot topics, and all of those things are horrible…. but they aren’t 1/4 of the deaths happening in our country.We want to pass laws to ban guns, or ban religions. We already ban texting and download-10driving. Why is it that when anyone wants to pass legislation or even private rules about banning junk food in schools, or putting a cap on giant soda beverages that’s the one thing everyone can agree is outrageous.

Last time I checked there was a law in this country against trying to kill yourself, but apparently death by twinkie is completely acceptable.

 

coaching, Health, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness

Your scale is lying to you

Scales for years have been the bane of many women’s existence. They diet all day and images-11don’t see a change in the numbers. Then at the end of the week or month after working hard at the gym and eating like a bird there’s a drop by one.. maybe two. After a while it’s enough to make someone throw in the towel and just eat the cake. Or the opposite happens. They see a dramatic change in one week and think, “I’ve got this” and then treat themselves to that cake only to see that one “treat” cancelled the whole week’s worth of work. It can be very frustrating.

That’s because physical weight is complicated. There are many factors that go into the lbs per inch being that is you. Most of us know of the dreaded water weight. The bloating that we get during our period, or that quick 3 lbs we lose when we cut out soda, but that’s just the beginning.

I have been feeling very annoyed in my weight-loss adventure because I have been working my ARSE off. I have been working the Beachbody programs, going to the boxing giphygym and Zumba. I have even been taking nutrition classes to make sure what I’m putting into my body is not sabotaging my work. Yet the scale creeps along at snail speed.

I have to admit I’m one of those people who do… what I’m not supposed to.. and weigh myself everyday. Part of it is because as I’m learning I want to track how things are going and what is affecting what.. and the other is because I’m crazy and anal and want to see the scale numbers plummet before my eyes. But they don’t. In fact sometimes after what I think is a great day the numbers actually rise (%^&^%^). But I know that I am losing weight. My clothes don’t fit anymore, my friends and family all comment, but I reply.. no.. I’m not losing weight…. I’m losing fat, and there’s the difference.

Now I know that I named this “your scale is lying to you”, but what I should have said is, “you need a scale that knows how to talk to you”. When I first started my adventure a year ago I bought myself a Weigh Watchers body fat calculator scale50188301. It measures not just weight, but BMI, bone mass, water weight and fat weight. That changes everything. I stepped on the scale yesterday and used this feature for the first time in months and that number BLEW ME AWAY.

When I fist started I had a body fat percentage of 51… a year later… it’s 34. That’s huge. Some people may be surprised that the weight numbers don’t match the % numbers.. but that’s just it. Muscle weighs more than fat. So… for every, let’s say, cup of fat I lost I gained a half a cup of muscle. So my body is getting slimmer and healthier but my weight barely shifts.

In our society especially numbers are so important. The number on the scale. The number in the bank account. Hell, even your IQ. But that’s just one way to quantify a person. We need to learn to look at the whole picture.

coaching, Health, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness

You don’t have to be perfect to be

I have to admit I had a “check myself” moment the other day. As you know I have been working really hard to get healthy. I have been taking nutrition classes. I’ve been working out. I’ve been following the Beachbody* programs, boxing, Zumba*, meditation… and so download-5on. I have been spending the last year learning about and practicing good health as much as possible, yet I still felt like I didn’t have a right to really consider myself a coach because I am not thin. I felt like no one would take me seriously because of the way I look… then I realized that’s bullshit.

I may not be a size 2, but I have lost over 30lbs, and many inches. I have added muscle, lost fat and brought my cholesterol levels down by 50 points. I am a healthy person… my jean size just hasn’t caught up with me yet.

It’s funny. I am certified as an Integrative Wellness and Life Coach. I am in the process of becoming certified as an Integrative Health Coach. I truly believe that you can do and be anything that you want, and if I had someone like me as a client I would encourage the person believe in herself and to understand that you don’t have to be perfect yourself to be able to help other people. This is fundamental. Yet, here I am… holding back because of my own insecurities.  images-10

So that’s the end of that craziness. I am not going to let my fears dictate my life. I may not be perfect, but I am very passionate about getting my health on track. I am very proud that my son comes down and does the 21 day fix with me. I want to share as much information as possible with the world so that the current health crisis gets under control. People complain about ISIS. They complain about guns. Do you know what really kills people? Heart disease…. strokes… diabetes and other “natural” causes that aren’t as natural as they seem.

What I have realized is that it’s less important what I actually look like and more important what I’m DOING about it… and in the last year… that’s a lot. I don’t ever want my son to experience what I went through. I never want my son to find me dead because of a health complication that could have been avoided, and with my coaching, I hope no one else has to either.

 

 

 

coaching, Health, Love, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness

Four little words from my almost four year old… that made it all worth it.

Sometimes I don’t want to work out… there, I said it. I know it’s shocking… I mean.. I have to be the only one. Sometimes I would much rather sit on the couch with pizza and forget about all my problems.24e43f106024cc11_belly-fat

But I go and I do it. Whether it be a 21 day fix on my TV at home or a boxing class at the local gym or a Zumba class at the local dance school, I just keep going. There is good and bad to both. At home it’s harder to get motivated. I can always just do it later. In classes you’re surrounded by 20 sombelly-fatethings with already perky butts that make me feel less than.

Not long ago I was at one of those classes. It was the end of the class. We had just been jumping and  and twisting and sweating… a lot. We had just hit the floor mats to get to the core part of the exercise when my 3 year old came running over, looked me straight in my sweaty, nasty face and said, “You look beautiful, mama”… Those were the best core exercises I’ve ever done. He was the perfect reminder of why I do this… I am getting healthy not for me, not to look hot with a perky butt.. but so that I can be there for him. I’m already beautiful in the eyes of anyone who matters. I want to live long enough to be beautiful for my grandchildren too. Something my parents didn’t get to do. lose-belly-fat1

bullying, coaching, Health, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness

How many sizes plus, exactly?

We need a new word for plus-size. Someone who is healthy and strong is NOT plus-sized. The average size woman in America is 16, that makes it not plus, that makes it average.

Now I’m not promoting obesity. In fact I’m doing the opposite. This country is fat. I’m fat. I’ve been working on my health for months and am doing great, but still have some to go, as I’m not crash dieting I’m taking it off the healthy way.

This country has forgotten about health. It has forgotten about muscle. It has forgotten that people and women are getting taller. It no longer looks at shape, and fat percentage. We have become a nation obsessed with numbers, numbers on a scale, numbers on the inside of your jeans. Curves are fat, yet, boobs are curves and there is nothing wrong with them… yeah, confusion.. try being a little or teen girl today and figuring it out.

There is a plus-sized mode who is fighting back. The video of herself in different poses and 32e6daf200000578-3526244-image-m-11_1459945295531outfits is gorgeous. She is not obese. She is not gross and unhealthy. She should be celebrated as what a woman should be working to look and feel like. Society is so angry. They settle for nothing but perfection
. A model should look like a rack, yet, as mentioned the average woman is a size 16, so who are the size 2 models catering to? Who looks the way they do in the cloths?

How about instead of sitting on our couches with a big of chips and  criticizing someone who is healthy, happy and living her dream we work on getting healthy ourselves. Not crazed diets to make ourselves skinny. Not accepting obesity because plus sized is the new cool.. but living everyday in a healthy way. And not labeling healthy as something less than…

bullying, coaching, Health, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness

Santa, bully!

I read an article today about a 9 year old boy getting fat shamed by Santa. I couldn’t believe it. I mean I’m all about trying to get and stay healthy and feel that this country is out of control with #bodypositive excuses to enable obesity, but there is a time and a place.

Santa is supposed to be the epitome of unconditional love. He is supposed to bring joy tosanta-1 children. He is not supposed to bully them and make them cry, and that is exactly what he did.

I have commented on this before when social media went crazy and fat shamed a teenager in her
prom dress, but this is even more disturbing behavior. This is a grown man insulting a 9 year old. A 9 year old doesn’t really have that much control over his eating habits and his lifestyle. Slamming him for eating too many burgers and fries is like slamming a 4 month old for being fed formula. He does not do the grocery shopping. He does not cook the dinners. He doesn’t even  choose what the menu at his school is.

This poor boy who just went to tell Santa what he wan
ted for Christmas was met with ridicule and hate. He will never look at Santa or Christmas the same again, and I can tell you, this is not going to help his self esteem and there will probably be a lot more emotional eating in his future.

I was not over weight as a child. My son, thus far, is not over weight and I don’t see him becoming so given our lifestyle, but if Santa or any other adult ever bullied my kid and made him cry, getting reprimanded at his job would be the lease of his problems.

The only epidemic that I find more dangerous in this country than obesity is hate. People no longer careczageorxgaij1lo about their neighbors or fellow human beings. They have spent all of their time, over the last decade, sitting behind a keyboard insulting others. Now it’s even spilling into real life. People are all about not being PC and everyone is so easily offended and cry babies… but that’s not really it. It’s more that common decency has flown out the window and now people just want to prove what a dick they are.. because they can.

Should the kid lose weight, probably. Is it Santa’s job to ridicule him into submission.. NO!

coaching, Health, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness

What do you think about a better life?

Self talk has to be one of the most important things that we do to and for ourselves. A lot of people poke fun at affirmations or positive thinking. They think it’s a woo woo science and that it’s all just a gimmick. Ironically it has been widely recognized that emotional abuse to a child is a real thing.

If a child is raised in a household where he/she is continuously told that they are bad, or downloadugly, or useless or whatever negative things they are bombarded with they will usually grow up to have low self esteem, behavior problems, not do as well in school, get into drugs… this is all classic text book science. Children are regularly taken away from parents who abuse them emotionally, or they spend countless years and dollars on therapy as they get older.

If a woman is in a relationship with a man and she is constantly being undermined. If she is told that she doesn’t do anything right, that she is horrible, and stupid and ugly and she should feel lucky that the man is good enough to be with her.. that is abuse… she would be told to leave a relationship like that immediately.

As a mom we are told to encourage our children whenever possible. And not just generic encouragement like “good job!” but specific detailed encouragement like, “you’re a very good listening”, “you did a wonderful job cleaning up” and so forth. We are told that speaking to a child like this over and over will help them have higher self-esteem and grow into better functioning adults.

So why is it that people think that the things that we say to ourselves don’t matter? When I was younger I can remember always saying, “I’m tired” all the time. My father used to get so annoyed by that… “of course you’re tired… you keep telling yourself that you are”. imagesIn my tween years I would write on my books “I love Billy” or whomever.. over and over.. and my dad would point out that it was a form of brainwashing.

BRAINWASHING… think about that… what we tell ourselves over and over we are actually brainwashing ourselves to believe. So… if we are always thinking.. “I’m fat.. I’m ugly.. no one will ever love me” guess what our brains are going to believe? Our minds are very powerful things. They control almost everything about ourselves. From our actions to our hormone levels. If our brains believe that we are fat and useless, what do you think will happen to our metabolism? What do you think it will do to our cortisol levels?

We as humans are our minds.. we are our souls.. we are what’s on the inside. If we are constantly abusing ourselves we will become the victims of our own creation.  It takes practice… it takes work.. but we can create a better life with better thoughts. Thoughts lead to action, action leads to change