People talk about grief, but until you live through it you will never understand. For weeks I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I cried without even realizing. There is about 6 months of my life that I don't remember. I carried on. I had to. I had my job. I had my son. I had my life that I had to live. My father died 5 years ago today, and I miss him every bit as much now as I did then.
I can tell you that I have had a handful of significant deaths in my life, and I have reacted to them differently every time. Some of the differences are based on their relationship to me, some of them have been because of my age. Some of the differences are just because the more loss you have; the more you get used to it.