coaching, Motivation, parenting, Satire, Uncategorized

How to screw up your kids according to the internet

There is nothing more important in this world than the well being of our kids. So, as animages (5) empowering woman I took it upon myself to search the internet for the most common ways to screw up our kids in an effort to help us all avoid them. My research was very fruitful.

  1. Helicopter Parenting: This is a very common parenting style in which parents do everything for their child in an effort to make sure that their child never feels even the slightest bit uncomfortable. They cut and peel grapes for the high school aged, home schooled children who are still being read children’s books in an effort to keep them from learning anything that my be disturbing. Apparently “experts” have found that sheltering your child to the point of stunting mental and emotional development leaves children unable to make decisions and fend for themselves.
  2. Free-range parenting: This is another common approach to parenting in which the parents choose to do the exact opposite and let their children run free and happy and completely in charge of their own lives. They let their children go to the park on their own, make friends on their own, handle their own disputes… heck.. half the time they don’t even know where their own children are. They feel this is a great way to teach their children independence… but apparently “experts” have found that free range children are kidnapped 100% of the time.. or they run with scissors and stab themselves and their friends until there’s nothing left but a pin cushion… or something like that.
  3. Breast is Best: Breastfeeding has been in the news a lot lately. After much research and development scientists have found that the way mother’s fed their babies for millions of years actually may in fact be the best way to feed a baby. They have said that it not only gives them all the nutrients that their little bodies need but also helps in creating a bond between mother and child. In fact there is a chemical secreted during feeding (oxytocin) that gives both mothers and babies a feeling of well-being and love. But apparently “experts” have found that mothers who breastfeed are just attention seeking “drug addicts” using their infants to get that “oxy-high”…. and they’re gross because they want babies to be sucking on their boobies… even in PUBLIC! perverts
  4. Bottle feeding: Bottle feeding is the best way to feed your baby. You can gauge how much they’re eating. The formulas now a days come with many different ingredients so you can not only make sure that your child gets all the nutrition needed but also can pick one that won’t have any allergens.. like.. milk.. or soy.. or some other food that used to not have anyone allergic to it. But the “experts” say that feeding a baby from a bottle is akin to child abuse because the baby could never feel loved without the bonding that occurs during breastfeeding.
  5. Co-sleeping: Now I did not know this, but I guess co-sleeping has been around for millions of years. In fact at one point babies didn’t even have their own cribs at all.. actually, no one really had beds.. but the point is, I always thought co-sleeping was just some hippy thing people made up. Co-sleeping is the act of sleeping with your baby. That’s pretty much it. The “experts” however, have declared that this is the fastest way to kill your child and cause SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and while there is still no cause for SIDS the “experts” still say it’s sleeping next to your baby.
  6. Sleep training: This is the action of teaching your child that it’s time for bed. The point of this is to make sure that your child sleeps at a good time so that the child is able to let it’s brain develop properly. It is usually used by people who do not co-sleep, as they teach their baby to sleep by themselves, and to sooth themselves. It is designed also to teach independence. However, “experts” say that letting your child cry at all in any way is cruel and unusual punishment and that anyone who sleep trains should be waterboarded and have bamboo stuck under their fingernails to see how they like being tortured.
  7. Spankings: Spanking is the act of slapping a child with appropriate force on the bum in order to curb behavior. “Everyone” was spanked in every other generation ever and that is the only way children could ever learn how to behave. The reason why kids today are such ruddy little prats is because no one spanks anymore.. except all the people who still believe spanking is the only way. The “experts” believe that any small amount of pain to one’s backside, even in an effort to save the child’s life (ie the child keeps unbuckling his car seat and thinks it a game to have mama freak out and stop the car to buckle him back up) is detrimental to the child’s state of mind and can only create serial killers in the future.
  8. Timeouts: Timeouts is the practice of removing a child from a situation after the child has acted out and putting them in a chair or safe space for the appropriate amount of time (1 min per year of age) in an effort for the child to “think about their behavior”. Back in the old days this was called being sent to the corner.. not sure how it changed. The “experts” feel that this is akin to putting an inmate in solitary confinement and that anyone who thinks that punishment of any kind is appropriate for a child just shouldn’t have kids.. in fact they should be sterilized immediately!

So.. I hope this helps clear up any confusion that you may have as a parent. I know I love all the “expert” opinions that I have received over the years. If you can think of anything that I haven’t put on the list, by all means be sure to share in the comments.

coaching, Law of Attraction, Love, Motivation, Uncategorized, Wellness, Women's movement

What is your truth?

Truth is a complicated concept to grasp. That has never been more obvious than in today’s world of “fake news” in which case every side is claiming they are in the right, but to know what is truth? This is even more important in our personal lives. We all have these truths about ourselves, our family, our friends, our spouses.. but where do these “truths” come from.

download (24)My son was watching a cartoon… (yes.. he does that a lot.. no judgement.. it’s been snowing….. A LOT I’d never get anything done!) and the kids in the show were caught lying and were sat down and told to never lie. That lying hurts every situation and that it’s just bad to lie in general. Of course this backfired, and the kids just walked around saying what ever they were thinking, up to and including telling people they stink, they’re ugly, their cooking tastes bad.. what have you. So now the teachers had to try a new tactic and tried explaining that sometimes it’s ok to lie and sometimes it’s not and there are reasons for lying and for not.. and so on.

This seemed a bit crazy for my 5 year old to grasp so I put down my sponge, and sat with him for a minute to ask him about lying and give my perspective. I explained that lying was when you didn’t tell the truth in order to keep yourself from getting in trouble, but that telling someone things that may hurt their feelings just for the sake of it isn’t being truthful it’s just being mean.

I asked him some scenarios. I asked him about spilling his drink, and hiding his dinner.. then I asked about calling someone ugly. He said that wasn’t a truth. I asked him why he said that.. his response was one that took me decades to figure out.

“A truth is telling something that was done or someone said. Just because you think someone’s ugly doesn’t make it true.”

And that was it.. perspective.. just because you think something doesn’t make it true. Just because you may have been told that you’re stupid, or ugly, or fat, or a failure doesn’t make it true. Just because you think that someone is the only one for you.. or some job is the only thing that can make you happen.. doesn’t make it true. Truth is action. Truth can’t be challenged.

You think you’re a failure. Have you never won anything? Even a game of UNO? You think you’re unlovable. Have you never been loved, by you mom, your ex… that guy in 7th grade math class? People spend a lit of time deciding what their truth is.. instead of using actions to create a real truth.


coaching, Motivation, Uncategorized, women, Women's movement

International Women’s Day!

We did it! It is officially women’s day in the year of women. It only took thousands of years of giving birth to every person to ever be born to get recognition. I mean don’t get me wrong it doesn’t change anything. We still don’t have equal pay, or reproductive rights.. and we still “deserve” to be raped if we wear the wrong outfit.. and we still get hassled for any choice we make in our lives, whether we choose to work or not.. have kids or not.. and so on.

The craziest part of the whole thing is that we are not actually a minority. We make up up more than 50% of the population. There is no reason for this. We are the ones who raise the future generation. We are the ones that teach boys and men how to treat others. How is this the norm? Well, sadly we tend to think of ourselves as competition instead of being each other’s biggest champions.

I read through all the posts and memes today, and all the women screaming for download (22)themselves. I saw how McDonald’s switched their sign around to commemorate Women. I saw how everyone was talking about the things that men need to do to help women, and all of that is great. I agree, men need to take their sticks out of their asses and acknowledge that women are just as strong, smart, and competent as men, but what’s more important is that women have to encourage each other.

It’s great that we’re marching, but what we really need to do is start shopping at women owned businesses. We need to start hiring each other.. and promoting each other.. and voting for each other. I’m not saying vote for someone just because they are a woman. Sarah Palin is a woman and no one should vote for her, but if you know that there is a candidate on the ticket.. look into her. Even if it’s a name you never heard of, look into her.

When you see a mom having trouble, give her a hand. When you have a coworker in your office don’t make her your enemy.. be happy for her if she gets a promotion. Befriend her, learn from her, teach her.. grow together. If we expect men to come around and treat us with respect we need to show them how it’s done. We are the mothers of the world. If we can teach other’s how to respect who will?


bullying, coaching, Uncategorized, Women's movement

Together we stand!

Just a little story I thought I would share to add some perspective. I had a routine doctor’s appointment last week. Nothing special, just a check up. As I was sitting in the waiting area a man started to talk to me. I didn’t think anything of it. I understand how boring a waiting room could be. It started with the normal small talk about waiting rooms and over scheduled appointments and I was polite and direct in my answers. I thought that I was pretty clear that I was just being cordial and not looking for the conversation to go any further… but…

download (17)As we sat there, stuck in a room, waiting for the nurse to call us in he escalated the conversation. He started telling me how cute I was. How he’s just looking for a nice girl. He started asking personal things about my life, which I dodged as clearly as I could. I lied when he pressed me on where I live. I lied and told him that I was married. I started messaging people on my phone to show him that I was otherwise engaged in other conversation. I was already sitting as far away from him as I could, but still leaned further in the other direction.

He pressed on, “Would your husband be mad if he knew you were talking to me? Is he going to get jealous?”. Really? I’m just here to get my blood pressure and ears checked.. and whatever else comes along with this check up. I really don’t need this while I’m trapped in a room alone with a stranger.

I know a lot of men would probably respond to my post as, “what? he’s just being friendly, if you didn’t like it you didn’t have to respond”, but as most women know not responding can sometimes escalate things even further.. then these “friendly men” can start calling you names and can become aggressively attentive in an attempt to make you the problem.

I was messaging with my brother at the time and thankfully he is not one of those neanderthal men who assume that women should be grateful for attention of any kind. He understood that I was uncomfortable. He asked me if I had a clear way to leave the building and I told him that I help my keys out as I walked and cleared the elevator before I got in. I made sure that the man was not in the hallway when I stepped into the elevator, as it would be too easy for him to jump in after me.

Now I know what you’re thinking. This all seems crazy. I am clearly a super paranoid women who hates men. But this is the thing that men don’t understand. This is our thought process. I have no problem with men. I have many male friends. I was raised by a single dad and have a brother whom I love. I have a nephew and a son.. and as a child mostly played with my 2 boy cousins until the one girl cousin I had came around when I was 7. I am very comfortable around men. I have worked in male dominated fields. I have often been “one of the guys” due to office dynamics as well as hobbies that I have (I’m a bit of a geek). Men, as a species, don’t intimidate me. However, as a woman I understand that not all men are like my brother or my best friend. Not all men have the same understanding of women’s personal space and boundaries.

Men joke about situations like being ok with gay guys as long as they don’t hit on them, or “don’t say things to women that you wouldn’t want your cellmate to say to you” and there’s a reason for that. Men understand that sometime other men don’t take no for an answer. They know what they and their friends are like with women and they wouldn’t want to be put in a situation like that. They wouldn’t want to be stuck in a room with an overly attentive man with no idea where the situation could take them or the feeling of having to possibly defend themselves physically. No one likes that feeling, but that feeling is exactly the part of the “me too” message that is getting lost.

When women talk about how we feel harassed in our everyday lives. How we have been forced to deal with things that make us feel unsafe or pressured it doesn’t just mean the times that we are raped, or felt up. Harassment isn’t just about the p***y grabbing and penetration. Harassment is being made to feel unsafe for no other reason than because you are who you are. Whether it be you’re a woman, a person of color, or part of the lbgtq movement if you are not a member of the “group in power” you are vulnerable, and the only way we can gain our power is to stick together and support each other.


Politics, school shootings, Uncategorized

Who will inherit the Earth?

To quote the late great Whitney Houston, I believe the children are our future. Now obviously we all know at this point that Ms Houston was flawed, but that doesn’t negate the message that she sang so remarkably. The children literally are our future. They are download (15)the future presidents, future business people, future doctors, and teachers, and parents of the next generation… most importantly right now.. they are the next voters.

Children have forever been overlooked. They should be seen and not heard. Well, today children are being heard. They have a platform never imagined by previous generations.. they have social media… and I don’t just mean facebook, which apparently is for old people now, who knew? They have platforms that most of us have never even heard of. Instasnaptube… or what ever they are called can connect young people from around the globe without even knowing how to pay the phone bill, and here’s the thing, these kids are smart, and way more competent than we adults give them credit for.

Today in Somerville Massachusetts kids walked out of their school. Now, for those that don’t know Somerville this is not an area normally thought of as involved.. or political.. or really full of any kind of clout. These kids are not the connected kids who are used to having power. These kids are taking their own power back, and they are not alone.

Adults spend a lot of time arguing about their rights. The right to have giant killing machines, the right to be able to say what they feel, the right to own or have or do… these kids don’t care about your rights to things.. these kids care about their right to live. These kids are literally saying enough is enough. It has been almost 20 years since Columbine and nothing of real consequence has been done. There has been no laws passed to keep children safe. It has been over 5 years since Sandy Hook… a mass attack that killed dozens of babies and nothing was done. NOTHING!. How is that possible?

Now, I understand that people feel very strongly about their rights. I know people that own guns and that’s fine… but why do people argue with things like background checks? Why do people feel that mentally unstable people have the right to kill others? Why are people opposed to registering these instruments designed for no other purpose than to kill? It makes absolutely no sense.  A lot of the pro-gun argument is that if they give a little they will lose everything, but in fact their insistence to not understand and agree with common sense gun laws is going to lead to the next generation.. the generation of gun violence victims to actually ban all guns. That’s how it works.

These “kids” who “don’t know what they’re talking about” are going to be voting in the next few years. These “kids” are going to be running for office.. and if you think Obama was good at the grassroots effort you’ve seen nothing like a kid with am instagram account collect followers.

Millennials are thought of as lazy and entitled, and maybe part of that is true, and I’m not sure what the kids of today are called.. because technically they aren’t even millennials, but these “kids” will find the fastest, easiest way to spread their message, and they feel entitled to their feelings, their message, and their lives. I’m sure at one point the “adults” thought those kids fighting for slaves rights, or women’s rights, or gay rights were just “stupid kids” who won’t accomplish anything… but I believe the children are our future, and if you don’t watch out they’ll leave you in the dust.. and they’ll feel entitled to your jobs.. and vote themselves in.

bullying, Politics, school shootings, Uncategorized, women

Bulling the victims of school shootings… really? Who’s the adult?

I am both amazed and appalled at what I am seeing in the world today. Somehow people seem to make tragedies worse. For years we have been watching in horror as children and sometimes babies getting slaughtered in a place that is supposed to be a haven. A place that, we as Americans, need for the future of our society to continue, and we’ve done NOTHING. That to me is horrifying enough, but now, as time goes on we are even outdoing ourselves.

downloadI remember Columbine. I remember sitting in my car sitting in my car listening to the radio report of the events. I remember reading in the newspaper in the aftermath. I remember thinking how impossible it all seemed. It had only been 6 years since I had graduated from high school myself and it was unimaginable that anything like that could have happened.

I remember moving from the small town of North Andover, MA to the small city of Newton, MA and being shocked that they had SECURITY GUARDS. They weren’t even carrying. They were just there in case of a fight breaking out, basically, and once when I first started there was an “incident”. I’m still not really sure what happened. This were said, tensions were high.. and no one was killed or even seriously hurt.

My God daughter was born about a month before Columbine and I could never have imagined that by the time she reached high school that I would be regularly seeing her and her peers outside with their backpacks strewn about in a bomb scare. HOW IS THIS AMERICA IN THE 21st CENTURY?!?!?!

I remember my father telling me stories about when he was a child his class used to have drills in case of an attack from Russia. They would sit under their desks, as if that would possibly do anything against a nuclear weapon. I remember thinking that was insane, barbaric even. I remember hearing about the hippies who were laughed at by the adults for wanting something better. I remember hearing about the soldiers who came home from Vietnam to be spit at and called “baby killer” by those same peace loving hippies… I remember thinking how much things had changed and how proud I was that they had.

Now it’s been it’s been almost 20 years since the devastating and societal changing Columbine shooting… and it’s still happening. In fact, it’s happening more and more. And are people coming together to help one another? Are the American people supporting each other in making sure that our children are safe? No… I saw grown individuals cyber bulling child victims. Children who watched they friends be slaughtered. Children who had their friends lying on top of them while they bled out. Children who have been through more in those few minutes than most adults could ever imagine. Children who are strong enough to stand up and fight back and say that it’s time for a change. No, I see grown adults, both men and women telling these victims to “grow up and get over it” to “shut up and go back to school” that “children don’t have the brains to know what they’re talking about”.

These children have the right to defend themselves. These children have to right to share their experiences. These children have the right to feel safe in their home away from home. In the place where they are supposed to be concentrating on learning so they can become the leaders of tomorrow. They should never feel as though they  need to be looking over their shoulders at their classmates in fear of their lives. And shame on you for not understanding that. Shame on you for blaming the victim for just wanting to be safe. For just wanting to live. You don’t have to share their opinions, but you do have to respect their lives.


Health, Healthcare, parenting, Politics, school shootings, Uncategorized

If we can’t take your guns can you at least give us health-care.

I have spoken before about the misinformation about the right to bear arms and how it’s been skewed to fit certain individuals and/or groups needs, but the misinformation of healthcare absolutely takes the cake. “Why should I have to pay for other people’s healthcare?” is the biggest argument made. Well, guess what? You already are… and more.

The way private healthcare is set up one pays a premium to have health insurance download (13)whether they use it or not. All of the money goes to the health insurance company which puts it into a fund and pays out everyone’s healthcare bills… OK, so at least your money is only paying for those who have also paid into healthcare, so that’s OK. Guess again. Hospitals know that the chances of them being paid by individuals that don’t have insurance is extremely low so they jack up the prices of everything they do so that those who have insurance will pay a high enough bill that it will cover those that aren’t covered. That’s how hospitals stay open. Ever wonder about that $15 Tylenol tablet you took?

So that’s just the costs that actually go to the hospital, doctors, Ambulances, and so forth. Now.. here’s a big secret that I know most people haven’t discovered. Insurance companies are NOT non-profit. In fact they make huge profits. The CEO’s make millions for their salaries, never mind the bonuses they get for “saving” the company money… in other words comes up with reasons they shouldn’t give their customers the coverage that they pay for.

Then there are all of the other people who work for these giant companies. The executives, the marketing, advertising, financial services, sales… customer service…. even down to the buildings they are housed in and those paid to clean them are all paid.. with your policies. Now obviously with universal healthcare there would still be people in charge of making sure that bills are paid, and taking care of customers, but there wouldn’t be billions going to executives and sales.

Then there is the fact that, yes, there are some poor people who, because they don’t make enough money, would get free healthcare. That’s kind of a given, but as we established earlier, they’re not paying those bills anyway, and the price gauging is covering that. Then there are all those who are just choosing to not pay. All those who make a decent wage, but feel that they’re healthy enough to not have to worry about it. They don’t think about the accidents that can cripple them, or the unexpected flu that can put them in the hospital. They just expected to be taken care of, and maybe they pay, maybe they don’t. Maybe, even after all the doctor’s do they can’t be saved.. or they are left disabled and unable to work anymore. Guess who eats their bills. With Universal Healthcare everyone making enough money will be paying their fair share.

Finally there’s all the things that most Private Insurance carriers aren’t guaranteed to even cover. Dental, nope, mental health, nope, specialists, nope. So you pay 100s and 1000s on health insurance only to have deductibles, co-pays.. and denials.

People and politicians complain about it not being their problem to take care of others… yet it kind of is. The population at large is definitely the politicians problem. It’s their job to keep us alive. It’s their job to keep the economy running. Part of keeping us alive, aside from making bigger and bigger guns, is making sure that we have access to doctors and medicine and.. even better.. preventative care. Part of keeping the economy running is making sure that people are healthy enough to work, and not losing their jobs over long term illnesses or injuries or losing their houses to overwhelming dept due to both.

Their most important job is making sure that the future generations are alive, or the US stops here. Two of the biggest concerns to youth today are being killed in school and the opioid epidemic (but that’s for another day) both of which could truly be helped by a good mental health system. The first thing politicians that oppose gun control say is that it’s not guns that kill people, it’s the people that kill people. And since they’ve made it very clear that they’re not willing to keep guns away from those people, why not create a health reform that gets ALL individuals the mental health support that they need. I know many people who are unable to see therapists or psychiatrists because, even with the private insurance that they have it’s either not covered or the deductible is so high they can’t afford to start treatment.. especially paying it every year.

I agree, the people who commit these horrendous crimes are mentally unstable. I c72bcc58-0abb-49e8-a915-354153bc942fpersonally thinks that means they shouldn’t be allowed access to guns, but aside from that, why can no one in power now see that means that they do require help BEFORE they shoot up 17 people in a school?

The last shooter was a classic case. He bounced from home to home. Lost 2 sets of parents. He had a really crappy life and many people could see that he was a threat to himself and others, yet nothing stopped him. No one helped him. People who shoot babies, and church goers, and movie theater attendees aren’t right in the head. That’s an absolute fact that everyone seems to agree on. These shootings occur way too often, another fact that no one questions. So why is there a debate about making sure every American has the right to stay alive? Why can’t these people get the help they need so they don’t kill 100s of people a year? This is the whole country’s problem, and only one of when it comes to the health of this nation.

Politics, Uncategorized

I believe in the constitution as it is written… the 2nd Amendment included, not just anyone can have a gun.

jpgI am a mom with a child just starting out in school… and I am heartbroken, disgusted, and terrified by what I see in the news. How many babies have to die until something is changed?

OK, I get it. You have your own understanding of the right to a well regulated militia. As sited in the Bill of Rights:

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

You believe that entitles anyone to be able to get and keep any type of weapon imaginable to protect themselves from and kill someone who may try to steal their TV. I download (11)get it. I’m not going to get into the fact that it doesn’t actually say that. Nor does it say that we have the right to shoot other citizens at all. What it say is that citizens have the right to keep a well regulated militia to either help the US Armed Forces or fight them if they feel that the government has become too Authoritarian.

Now just to keep up with the vocabulary:

  • a military force that engages in rebel or terrorist activities, typically in opposition to a regular army.
  • all able-bodied civilians eligible by law for military service.

and regulated:

past tense: regulated; past participle: regulated


control or supervise (something, especially a company or business activity) by means of rules and regulations.

So I’ll give you that. It you would like to maintain a well supervised company of people who agree to follow rules and regulations to hold guns whose only purpose are to help or hinder the US government… by all means… your 2nd Amendment rights will not be infringed.

However, that does not seem to be what you are looking for . You seem to be under the impression that anyone, anywhere should be able to buy a gun for any reason. No where in any document does it say that. Rules and regulations are a part of civilized society. If you are blind, you can’t have a gun. If you have serious mental health issues, you can’t have a gun. If you have a history of violence, which proves that you have trouble controlling impulses, you can’t have a gun. You need to have proper training, you need to have a proper place to store it. You need to be checked on regularly… by your assigned militia… to make sure that you are maintaining these rules and regulations. That would be “well regulated”.

Here’s the thing, the Bill of Rights is just that. A Bill, and like other bills they can be changed and repealed. So if you don’t want to follow the ACTUAL guidelines to the Bill download (12)then you can face the consequences. But you know who shouldn’t face consequences from your inability to understand laws, rules, and regulations? 1300 kids a year.

I hope you pray for those children who died because of your ignorance to vocabulary. I pray everyday that the people of the United States will someday read their own constitution and understand what it means and 1000s of deaths can be prevented, but sometimes I think it’s better to act than to pray> After all, God helps those who helps themselves.

coaching, Healthcare, Homeless, Motivation, parenting, Politics, Uncategorized, Veterans, Women's movement

We need to stop fighting against and start fighting for!

When I look at my news feed all that I see are stories about the horrible things that the GOP and especially Trump are doing, and it’s not that I disagree, but it has been over a year and his true supporters are not wavering. Maybe they’re racists, maybe they’re elites, maybe they’re just supportive of his causes… who knows? The point is no one is changing anyone’s minds by complaining.

Mueller is doing his thing, and that’s great. I hope he finds all kinds of evidence and puts everyone away, but complaining one-way or another on social media is not going to change that outcome. The fact that we all sign a petition to impeach him won’t matter until there is enough evidence to do so.

download (8)We are all spinning our wheels. The US Presidency primary is 2 years away, and Trump knows this. Trump knows that if we spend all of our time talking about him and fighting about Hilary then there will be no one to run against him. There will be no one to rally around to take him down. That’s what happened last time. It’s not that Trump won. It’s not that the country chose him.. the country chose “not Hillary”.

The republicans, and racists, and anti-women brigade chose Trump.. and many liberals either bowed out, went with a 3rd party, or voted for Trump out of spite. Unless we want to see this happen again we have to banned together. It’s not enough to hate the same person.. we have to support each other. We have to find people that we can put forward. We have to concentrate on who is doing good. We have to demonstrate a difference.

Right now all that we are showing is that we are just as hateful as the other side. I don’t think that’s the message that we want to put forward. No one wants to be told that they’re stupid, that they’re wrong, or that they made a crappy choice. People are going to defend their choice till their last breath to save face. Instead of pointing out all the reasons we hate Trump. Instead of pointing out all the reasons that his supporters are evil and stupid, let’s concentrate on finding people who represent the things that we want. Let’s show ourselves and Trump supporters another way.

Three years from now Trump will more than likely be on that ticket… who do you want opposite him? If we all faction off.. if we all fight among ourselves then he will win. If we just keep him as the enemy, if we keep his supporters our enemy no one will even be open to listening to another side.

I don’t want another 4 years of Trump. I don’t want more slashes to medicare, more cuts1oo9rw to food programs that hurt children and the elderly. I don’t want more cuts to public schools.. even if my son is in private. I don’t want healthcare to be a thing for only the wealthy and the healthy. He talks about how great countries like Norway and Australia are… use that. Talk about people who support the same policies as they do. Use his words against him. Talk about the DACA kids making a difference. Talk about the soldiers fighting for our rights to be healthy, safe, and educated. Talk about the inner city programs that are working. Talk about your grandma with meals on wheels. Talk about how well the free college programs help the next generation of doctors and engineers. Talk about the good things happening in this country and around the world. He talks enough about the bad.

bullying, coaching, Law of Attraction, Motivation, Prayer, religion, Uncategorized

Why is Atheism Suddenly a Movement… part 2

This is a response to the last blog post that I did about Atheism vs Religion. There seemed to be some confusion about my definition of Religion. I was not speaking about any specific religion or saying that people shouldn’t be opposed and speak out about horrific things done in the name of religion. I am simply speaking about those who try to belittle and change the mind of those who believe that there is something more to life than what we can see.

I was not raised in any particular religion, though my father was raised Catholic and download (4)being raised in the US we celebrated all of the commercial Christian holidays: Christmas, Easter… and to a lesser extent Halloween. My father read me the children’s Bible when I was younger, but that was half out of obligation to my mother who gave it to me, and half because he felt that it was part of our modern culture and he wanted me to be educated on it.

As I got older I met more and more people of different religions and my father always encouraged me to learn about them and make my own decisions on which, if any, that I chose. He always felt that it was never a bad thing to be well informed and well read.

Most of my life I didn’t identify with any religion… except maybe The Force.. I’m still trying to get that remote from across the room. I did feel like there was more to life than just living, eating, procreating, and dying… unless you’re a praying mantis. I felt connected in some way to Jesus, because of the family and the culture that I grew up in, and I believed in ghosts, reincarnation, not so much Hell. I came to believe in my own version of what I thought made sense.

After learning about quantum physics and some theorists interpretation of how consciousness creates outcomes, and how we are made from the same stuff as star dust I felt even more sure that there was more to everything that what is understood…. dark matter/energy, anyone?

After I had my son I had a pull towards the Catholic church. I wanted him to be baptized like everyone else in our family. I knew that I didn’t want him to go to the public school in my town and the local Catholic school was known to be wonderful. I met with my family church counselor and eventually received my confirmation. I wasn’t sure how much more I wanted to do with it, but I left that door open.

Then my father died. That was absolutely the worst thing in the world that has ever happened to me. I had moved back in with him after his diabetes was getting progressively worse and eventually I met a man who understood my predicament and though he wasn’t thrilled with living with his girlfriend’s father we made due after my father had a stroke and needed a quadruple bypass. We went on to have the most amazing son in the world…. but unfortunately that man was not up for the challenge and left me alone with a one year old boy and my sick father.

Thankfully for the most part my dad was fine. He had what we called “episodes”. His download (6)blood sugar levels would drop to the point where he would become hypothermia and the paramedics spent a lot of time at my house.  My father, however, was still working and paying most of the bills while I worked at home part-time teaching ESL online to people across the world nights after my son went to sleep .

This went on for about a year. Then one month after my son’s second birthday my dad said his good-nights and never woke up. I was completely devastated. I blamed myself for not checking on him. I was completely grief stricken. Forget the fact that I had no idea how I was going to pay the bills and how I was going to take care of my son all by myself I grieved for all of the moments that my son would never have with him. I grieved all the moments that he would never have with my son.

My son was 2 years old. His long-term memories hadn’t even begun to form. I was so distraught by the fact that my son wouldn’t know my dad. My wonderfully amazing dad.

But then as time went by my son still spoke about “Papa”. He spoke about conversations they could never have had. Later that year for my birthday I gave myself the present of going to London with my son… that same day my father’s long-term girlfriend died… on my birthday. We had a lovely trip, we saw all kinds of amazing things and had wonderful adventures while there. When we returned home it was night and my 2.5 year old was asleep. When we woke the next morning my son looked around and asked, “where’s Papa?”, as if he was expecting him to be waiting for us when we got back. I just told him that he was with Mary (his girl-friend’s name).

After a while my son was back to talking about him as if he were a friend. He was adamant that Papa was at his 3rd birthday and loved the cake. Maybe he was, maybe it was a little grieving boy’s imagination… but what’s the harm in believing?

It was after that I decided to start becoming more proactive at church. It’s not that I believe everything they say. I understand that the Bible was written by people and that most of the rules were designed around politics and the economy. I understand that if God did come down and speak to people and that his word was passed down from generation to generation there is a good chance it’s been altered anyway. We’ve all played telephone.. never mind in different languages.

But I choose to believe that my father and son were communicating all that time. I choose to believe that my father is still watching us and seeing the amazing little boy that my son is growing into. I choose to believe that I will see him again one day, and if I find comfort in that… why would you begrudge me just because you don’t.

I’m not here to say that everyone should believe in Christ. I’m not here to say that if you disagree with a practice of a church that you shouldn’t fight against it. There is a difference between an organized religion, and a spiritual hope. You don’t have to want more… you don’t have to need to feel connected…. but why tear others down who do? There is no proof either way and many unanswered questions. Many scientist believe in some sort of God… who are you to say otherwise?