bullying, parenting

The next step in bullying

I have stayed away from politics this whole time, because I don’t feel like my political opinion is either right or wrong, however, I do feel that there is a right or wrong to bullying!

trump_protest_0_1478881698Now I don’t care which side it is, or who is getting bullied. It is not right. When Trump was running he was very bad at his Tweeting and many people called for his Twitter account to be suspended. He went after women, minorities, war vets… it didn’t matter. It is the reason why so many people are so upset about his presidency.. and I get that. He even said that had he lost he wasn’t going to go away quietly.

Everyone couldn’t wait for the election to be over. Most people just felt like he would disappear into the ether and that would be the end of it. (I say most people because technically Hillary won the popular vote.. so more people voted for her, and there were other’s who either wrote in or voted for another option). But with the results as is.. he did not go away, and will not for at least 4 year.

That being said, he won, and we have to learn to except this arraignment. I’ve read many people saying that it’s white privilege that allows me and others to say this and that people of color have more to fear. That may be true, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is the President. Now, personally, I’m terrified of some of the changes that may happen. I’m terrified of the precedent that has been set that it’s OK to “grab them by the pussy”, but what mostly scares me is that the bullying is spreading. On both sides.

Hillary said that Trump not excepting the results of the election was horrifying, but now, the results are in and the same people that were supporting her comment are protesting said results. This is not actually helping anything. It’s just adding fuel to the fire. Twitter is actually declaring that it has to start cracking down on hate speech and bullying! Twitter, the site designed to share 180 characters of “what I had for lunch”.

I get that people are angry. I get that people are scared. But as Michelle Obama said, “when they go low, we go high”. Bullying others only gives their side more credibility. Trump made many promises, some of them good, some of them disgusting, m7912564-16x9-2150x1210ost of which have to pass though congress before it can be accomplished.. what’s important now is that the WORST of his campaign, the hate, the bullying, and the anger needs to stop. If you want to
make a change… if you want to Make America Great Again.. that starts with you. Get involved in local politics. Help out at local shelters or other charities… donate your time and money to helping the next generation be less hateful… You’re not going to change Trump’s mind. You’re not going to change the minds of his supporters. You can only change your own actions. And I for one would rather talk about the good in the world, than focus on the HATE!

parenting, Uncategorized

What do you think about a better life?

Self talk has to be one of the most important things that we do to and for ourselves. A lot of people poke fun at affirmations or positive thinking. They think it’s a woo woo science and that it’s all just a gimmick. Ironically it has been widely recognized that emotional abuse to a child is a real thing.

If a child is raised in a household where he/she is continuously told that they are bad, or downloadugly, or useless or whatever negative things they are bombarded with they will usually grow up to have low self esteem, behavior problems, not do as well in school, get into drugs… this is all classic text book science. Children are regularly taken away from parents who abuse them emotionally, or they spend countless years and dollars on therapy as they get older.

If a woman is in a relationship with a man and she is constantly being undermined. If she is told that she doesn’t do anything right, that she is horrible, and stupid and ugly and she should feel lucky that the man is good enough to be with her.. that is abuse… she would be told to leave a relationship like that immediately.

As a mom we are told to encourage our children whenever possible. And not just generic encouragement like “good job!” but specific detailed encouragement like, “you’re a very good listening”, “you did a wonderful job cleaning up” and so forth. We are told that speaking to a child like this over and over will help them have higher self-esteem and grow into better functioning adults.

So why is it that people think that the things that we say to ourselves don’t matter? When I was younger I can remember always saying, “I’m tired” all the time. My father used to get so annoyed by that… “of course you’re tired… you keep telling yourself that you are”. imagesIn my tween years I would write on my books “I love Billy” or whomever.. over and over.. and my dad would point out that it was a form of brainwashing.

BRAINWASHING… think about that… what we tell ourselves over and over we are actually brainwashing ourselves to believe. So… if we are always thinking.. “I’m fat.. I’m ugly.. no one will ever love me” guess what our brains are going to believe? Our minds are very powerful things. They control almost everything about ourselves. From our actions to our hormone levels. If our brains believe that we are fat and useless, what do you think will happen to our metabolism? What do you think it will do to our cortisol levels?

We as humans are our minds.. we are our souls.. we are what’s on the inside. If we are constantly abusing ourselves we will become the victims of our own creation.  It takes practice… it takes work.. but we can create a better life with better thoughts. Thoughts lead to action, action leads to change