bullying, Love, parenting, Politics, Uncategorized

This is no place for hate!

Anyone who knows me knows that I try to look on the positive side of things. I am the little Pollyanna of the crowd. Even when bad things happen I’m the one making the jokes… but I have to say, after this past weekend it’s very difficult to keep smiling.

I am a bit of a news junkie. I studied history and poli-sci in college and am fairly active in volunteering and helping to make the world a better place for my son and the next generation. This past weekend made me sick. The fact that there are Nazis, White Supremacists, Anti-Semites… or any other name they choose to use still carrying guns and torches in my country makes me physically nauseous.

images (30)This is the country that FOUGHT the Nazis. My grandparents were in the war. We still have movies commemorating the brave men and women who gave their lives. Anne Frank’s diary is part of our current school curriculum… and yet.. marching in the streets. Anger, Hate, Violence. All I can say is NO. NO, I will not allow this to be my country. NO, I will not allow this to be the country that my son grows up in. NO, this will not be the country that my half Filipino nephew grows up in. NO, this will not be the future. NO!

And to be honest, I don’t really care which political figure says what about it. Who condones, who condemns, who ignores is not my problem. We are not a country of politicians. We are a country of mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and children. We need to speak up. We need to not let hate, fear, and anger control the media and the tone of our world.

Nothing was ever accomplished by hate. If we want to make America and the World great and a place to be proud of for our children, we need to learn empathy. We need to learn compassion. We need to learn to love again.

Healthcare, parenting, Politics, Uncategorized

The educated vote is going down with the Dinosaur.

I had an interesting conversation with a Trump supporter today. She said that she wasn’t worried about all the horrible things that he says because she doesn’t think that they’re going to happen. Really? So, you’re glad a person who wants to take food and healthcare away from children, women, and elderly is in office because you’re pretty sure the Democrats won’t let it happen?

How does that even make sense. I pressed her more. She says that she only watches Fox News because all of the other news outlets only talk about all the bad things that are happening, and she doesn’t want to think about it…  WHAT?!?!? Talk about keeping your head in the sand.

th (2)She said her insurance is too high under the Affordable Care Act, and the Republican’s want to repeal it… yes, and put people, like her and her family, who have pre-existing conditions into a pool of their own so that their insurance will go up 10x and those without any health problems will drop.. “well, that won’t happen”. I told her that they have come out and said that anyone who has a pre-existing condition doesn’t deserve good insurance because they couldn’t manage to take care of themselves…. “No one said that….. ok only one guy”… yeah, one guy who happens to be a member of congress.

I told her that they want to cut funding to special programs in public schools… which her child needs and is in a special needs class, “well, that won’t happen”. I told her they want to cut food healthcare for women, including letting employers decide whether or not their employees should have birth control paid for. “That’s has nothing to do with employers.. why should they have a choice?… that won’t happen.”

She’s said she’s more concerned about North Korea dropping a nuke, and that we have toth (1) make sure that they are stopped from making the bombs.. I told her that Trump’s response is making sure that all other countries get the bombs too so that they can bomb them fist if need be. She said that was crazy… no one would want that. I showed her the video… even Saudi Arabia… who he just sold $110B worth of weapons to.

She said that she doesn’t like the Democrats because she saw one of them swear at a rally… Really? But pussy grabbing and telling his rally attendants to “Get him the F**K out of here is ok?

“Well, this is why I don’t watch the news… this stuff is crazy”

Right.. but you keep voting.

Politics, Uncategorized

Trump “It’s Complicated”

In the wake of the latest Trump scandal I just have a few words to say. I have been very clear on my dislike for this President and pretty much everything that he stands for. Not because he is a Republican, or Christian, or White… I happen to be two of those things.. and an Independent (which means neither Republican nor a Democrat… I vote for the person that I agree with on issues the most) That being said… I was also a HUGE fan of the Apprentice when it was on and thought, though an arrogant jerk, that he had half a brain. I now can admit that I was wrong.

I have never in my life seen a person who is so incapable of taking responsibility. I have never seen anyone that is so quick to cast blame at anyone or anything but them self. I have never seen anyone who just lies for the sake of making them self feel better. I have download (40)never seen anyone who needs to toot their own horn and pat their own back at the expense of other. I have never seen anyone so clueless about the way the world works… and I could never have imagined such a person in office.

Everyday there is a new scandal. And everyday his people come out and denounce such craziness.. Trump would never… collude with Russia.. they had no contact at all… except almost everyone on his team and in his family… that have since had to resign or be fired. Trump would never take money from Russia… with a few exceptions… Trump would never tell Russia to hack the DNC… except on International Television at a rally… Trump would never give away top secret info to Russia… except when he wants to and it’s ok cuz he’s President. Trump would never tell Comey to stop investigating the Russian connection… except when he did, but he was only asking… not demanding.

Does the President of the United States of America really not understand that his words and actions are real? That the things that he says and does have actual consequences and repercussions? Does the man who supposedly is so successful in business really not understand how a budget works.. and that you can’t cut taxes (revenue) while asking for outrageous money for walls, wars, and Russian steel? Does he really not understand that taking money away from food and healthcare is going to kill the people that he swore to protect?

He is the President of the United States and all he does is talk about crowd size, election results, and how mean people are to him. He literally said that he had no idea that being President would be hard.. or that Healthcare, foreign relations, and pretty much anything political would be complicated… This is not a reality show, Mr President. The people who die under your watch can’t come back for the reunion show… This is real life. Maybe you should either take responsibility or walk away and let someone who can handle it take over.

parenting, Politics, Uncategorized

What do you mean by pro-life?

This has been a hot topic in the US for decades. Pro-Lifers protesting with signs and pictures of dead fetuses and babies. Declaring Planned Parenthood as a slaughter house for the unborn. Calling women and doctors murderers. These, mostly Christian, high moral individuals take all life as sacred… or mostly, kind of.

I was at a community gathering the other day and there was a lovely woman from Planned Parenthood there to talk to those interested about the reality of what herdownload (34) organization does. It wasn’t her normal gig. Normally she was one of their lawyers who fight for the rights of their patients and doctors alike, but with all the misinformation, or “alternative” facts going about, the organization has chosen to be out in full force to educate and answer questions.

Most people think that Planned Parenthood is an abortion clinic and that’s all they do there. When there is discussions about birth control people start a tirade about how they don’t want to pay for other people to use their tax dollars to abort babies as a form of birth control. There is a post going about of people calling PP and asking them about pre-natal care, a service that is not provided at most locations, and therefore assumed that there is no other services that women need.

I don’t know how many of you reading are women, or know women, but there is more to women’s health than pregnancy. I didn’t get pregnant till I was 36, and yet had been seeing a Gynecologist for almost 20 years at that point. There are yearly pap-screenings, which include cancer checks, as well as checks for irregular growths and cysts. For those who choose there are sexually transmitted disease tests, and actual birth control… not just abortions, but pills, implants, sponges, diaphragms, and which ever one you may choose that works best for you.

I know what you’re thinking, “Why should I pay for some slutty tramp to get tested for STDs?And if you can’t afford birth control then don’t have sex.” Well, let’s just throw the rape word out there to start with. Sometimes women don’t always have a choice.. but let’s say they do. Let’s say they are a lovely college student whose parents have died… who has been dating a man who she has known for a year and are planning to marry…. is it ok for her to have sex? Is it ok for her not to get pregnant? Let’s say that wonderful man isn’t as wonderful as she thinks and is running around on her and gets an STD…

Maybe no one should have sex at all… and if you have sex before you are married and not for the reasons of having children then you should die… and so should the child, because you do not deserve screening for STDs and cancer which could not only kill you but damage the unborn child… so in reality… you’re only pro-“people whose lifestyle I approve with” life.

Now let’s go the other side… Planned Parenthood is the reason for abortions… ahh.. actually abortion rates are down even lower than before Roe vs Wade was passed… and that’s only the ones that were reported. Planned Parenthood chose a name that should be self explanatory. They help women choose and plan when they become parents. They educate women on their bodies and supply birth control to those who would not otherwise be able to afford it, thus creating less unwanted pregnancies, not more abortions.

The biggest misconception about Planned Parenthood is that all they do is abortions and that the government is paying for them, and there is no way to stop that therefore we must defund. Actually only 3% of all services provided are abortion services,  and none of that money comes from the federal government. In fact there was an amendment images (24)created (The Hyde Amendment) in 1976 that specifically prohibits this.  In fact there is no way to actually “defund” Planned Parenthood” outright. There is no line item in the federal budget for them. They are simply a healthcare provider who gets reimbursed by medicare for services that medicare are required to pay for… such as cancer screenings and birth control pills.

Right now everyone is pushing to defund Planned Parenthood and others life it. What you need to realize is that when you vote to defund Planned Parenthood, you are voting to limit healthcare to Medicare recipients. That includes grandma, and the single mom with her kids….. so… not exactly Pro-Life… if you ask me.

Politics, Uncategorized

Let’s drop the labels and have real conversations

I posted on my Facebook account this morning: Conversions with Republicans online: “I’m sorry there are starving children all over the world but we need to worry about the ones here.” The next breath, “Why should I have to pay for welfare or education? This is America, get a job you lazy bum.”

I have a friend who considers herself a republican comment that she believes that poor Americans should be taken care of and that she spends a lot of time volunteering. I have downloadknown this woman most of my life and know that she is a good person. I was not talking about her. I was not speaking of people who vote republican for the most part. I was speaking of the actual politicians. The people’s whose jobs are to be Republicans.

I feel that their needs to be a distinction. I, personally, am an Independent. I vote for people and ideas not a political affiliation, and I think that’s the biggest issue that we have in politics right now. There is no longer any compromise. There is an “us vs them” mentality.

This is used for everything in politics, race, sex, income level, everything is designed to keep us blaming and fighting each other. I have spoken to this person before and she believes that Welfare is just a big scam. That there is more fraud going on than actual Budget_pie_chart_memepeople who need it because the rich Republicans blame the “foreigners” for tax increases.  When in reality only about 3% of federal taxes go to welfare and only about 3% of all recipients have been found committing fraud, but if the rich politicians say that most of the middle classes taxes go towards paying for wars, and government officials and their benefits they would never get reelected.

Most people want to help the hungry and the destitute. Most people would give to the poor or take in the refugee once they got to know the person. The problem is with labels there are no individuals. There are only Muslims, Mexicans, Illegals, Republicans, Democrats, men, women … anyone different than me.

Love, parenting, Uncategorized

Giving (up) for Lent

My son and I went to Mass the other day for our ashes… much to his protest, and the Priest of the day brought up an interesting take on the whole “Giving up something for Lent” thing.

Now I know that not all of you are Catholic, but I feel like it’s a good message in general. He spoke about how The Bible said to celebrate and worship privately, not to boast about what you are doing to get your accolades. This, to me, speaks to what the Pope said download-9recently about fake Christians who talk a big game about their Christian values and then treat the poor and other neighbors with complete disregard.

This country has been torn in half in the last year between the Conservative Christian party that wants to “take care of themselves”. They shouldn’t have to help the poor. They work for their money, why should they give it to someone who needs it? They are opposed to helping refugees who are running scared from extremely dangerous homelands. They spend all their time talking about making their “America Great Again” and to Hell with anyone who is different. Last time I checked this was not what Jesus preached… but they’re opposed to abortion… so they can check that box.

But as I mentioned, this priest spoke of Lent and of fasting and giving up something.. he said that it’s not just important to give something up, but to think of those who don’t have and maybe, just maybe, we could give to them. He brought up how when he was a child he was always made to give up candy, which is an understandable thing for a child, but he always felt it was superficial. The point of fasting is to grow closer to God and to truly give of yourself.

I was thinking of myself.. and recently I thought about giving up coffee.. then I realized that was crazy and not going to help ANYONE… but I thought about other habits similar to that. I thought about the fake Christians and their inability to give up what is theirs for someone else. I was thinking how nice it would be if we all saved the money from whatever we gave up, coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, or even shopping at Target for the non-essentials, and taking whatever money we didn’t spend and giving it to a charity of our choice.

I thought what a great thing this could be if we kept it up even after Lent was over. We all images-12say that we would do more for others if we had more money, but we all have our expensive habits… and if we are really on a tight budget, maybe we could do something like give up TV for the 40 days and actually spend the time volunteering. There is always someone who is in more need than us, and if we are going to give something up, wouldn’t it be great if we could give back, like a real Christian… a real HUMAN BEING should do.

bullying, Love, parenting, Uncategorized

DON’T GIVE IN TO THE DARK SIDE

rogue-one-a-star-wars-story-1600x900-poster-hd-2757-1170x550I went to see Star Wars: Rogue One the other night and I can’t stop thinking about the plot of the whole series. The whole good vs evil, right from wrong and where the line is drawn. There were plenty of people who were living in the Empire that were just living their lives as usual, following the laws of the Emperor and Darth Vader because that’s the what was expected. Lucas even named the army “Storm-Troopers” after the Nazis. I can’t help but relating this to modern day society.

We are lucky. We live in a society where, to this point our freedoms are pretty much in tact. We can say what we want, believe what we want and not have to worry about being killed or retribution. There have been multiple generations, at this point, who have grown up to this movie… applauding the Rebels for doing their part to defeat the Empire.

As Americans we can relate to not only fighting the evils of the Storm-Troopers but of being brave enough and strong enough to stand up for our rights and free ourselves from images-4an imperial forces that used our resources for their own selfish means. Yet we are so quick to just accept the evils of the world today. We are so quick to blame victims and believe the powers that be. Here’s a hint, if anyone, anyone is preaching hate as a whole, then they are not the person to be listened to.

Are there bad people in the world? Sure. Do horrible things happen everyday? Sadly, but that is not the norm. That is not what humanity is all about. Some say that one religion or another preaches hate and violence, but if you actually learn about a religion then you will learn that is not true. People can skew their message to mean anything. At church the other day our priest discussed how Joseph had the option to have Mary killed for being pregnant… but he did not choose that. People are their choices.

I’m watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens now. I’m watching Han Solo square off with his son. (I’m not going to give this away to those who haven’t seen it) His son makes a choice in that moment. He is using this choice to grow stronger in the Force… the religionimages-5 of that world. But as anyone knows, the force is neither good, not evil, it’s how they use their power that matters.

It’s time we stopped accusing and blaming anyone for what we see on the outside, and start seeing people as their actions and what we see on the inside. That includes looking in the mirror.

 

Aleppo, bullying, Love, parenting, Uncategorized

Love begets love

I was watching some horrible videos on Aleppo the other day and my boyfriend asked me images-2why I bother to watch such horrible things. They are so depressing, why do I put myself through that? I feel like that is most people’s view of Aleppo and other horrible things that are happening around the world.

There was an election last month and the winner of that election had a firm stand that Muslims are terrorists and that we should not take one refugee from any Islamic Nation. That’s very easy to say for people speaking hypothetically. It’s easy to sit in your comfy house, in your safe city, eating all the food that you could need and knowing that your babies are tucked cozy in their beds.

But that’s not what the rest of the world is experiencing. “1st world problems” has become a tagline for many things. “My iPhone broke #1stworldproblems” is very common. Most Americans today think that they have it rough if they don’t have a new car, or a big screen TV. They believe that America is a land of special people who have somehow earned the right to be better than others. That what happens to people in other countries, especially people with darker skin of other countries, is not our problem. They never look these babies in the eye and say, “Nope, you can’t come here.. you have to stay and die, because you’re not as good as an American”.

I don’t want to be one of those people that looks the other way. I don’t want to choose a political side over a human life. I want to do as much as I can to help as many people as I can. During this last election the Republicans were saying that Obama and Hillary created ISIS by leaving a power vacuum after the wars, and maybe they did. But the point is not who created the situation. The point is how can we solve it. I have posted before that hatedownload-2 begets hate, and that is true. There are all these people, politicians, news casters, and just Joe Shmo on social media spewing hate about how bad Muslims are and how they deserve what they get and we shouldn’t help them after everything that they have done to us… but no one seems to take into account what we have done to them .

Yes, 9-11 was tragic, every moment of that day has been seared into my brain. Being from Boston, I knew people who died on the plane. I understand why we needed to get justice for that act. I don’t see how starting a war with entire countries and bombing civilians that weren’t involved is getting justice. We managed to take Osama Bin Laden through intelligence, not brute force.

Recently there was a young man from Ohio State who lost his mind and went on a rampage with a knife and his car and killed his fellow classmates. He said that he was doing it because he was so “sick and tired” of the hate directed at him. Many people have used this as yet another example of how all Muslims are about hate and want to kill everyone… but that’s not the story.. the story is that he was sick and tired of the hate. That there are plenty of normal loving Muslims, Jews, Christians, Native Americans, Blacks, Gays… and any other culture out there that just want to be left alone, but hate is thrown in their face everyday.

I am lucky. I am white. I was raised and continue to live in upper-middle towns. I am images-3straight. I have a wonderful amazing son, who is also white. We are Catholic, and he goes to Catholic school. We are not rich, but we have what we need. But I understand that I am lucky. A few hundred years ago my Irish ancestors were not so lucky, and we have to remember what we are doing to everyone else in the world, because in a few hundred years who will be left and how will they be treated.

We watched Hitler try to kill off the Jews. We watched Stalin try to kill off his own. African nations and tribes have been killing each other for years. Every time we hear the stories we claim to be horrified, but we never step in till it’s on our own doorstep. Well, with society as it is, Social Media, the Global economy… everything is our door step. We need to stop treating people who happen to live in other places as the enemy. We have to start taking care of our own… Love begets love as well.

bullying, parenting, Uncategorized

Hate begets hate!

_a35076d2-a33d-11e5-8ae7-bdc8d919d82aHas anyone else noticed how negative the world has become? Social media is no longer a place to connect and share ideas and stories and make friends. It has become a battle ground for every issue one can think of. It has become a place where everyone is the perfect parent, spouse, worker … and they feel the need to point out everyone else’s imperfections.

When I first became pregnant with my son I signed up for all of the mommy blogs. I loved the idea of reading about new products and getting great advice about all the topics that I didn’t know were actual things till him. I loved expert advice, other mom advice and just a way to get support.

Unfortunately, that is not what I got. Instead all of the articles are “20 things your are doing wrong”, “10 reasons you’re a shitty parent” or some variation of here are things you shouldn’t do, but we know that you’re doing. All of the comments are… “if you’re not a super-mom you should be sterilized”. I am amazed at how many women, never sleep, shower or pee as they have made it clear that they NEVER leave a child unattended for any reason, and if you are one of those horrible moms who has to work, well.. you just shouldn’t have had kids then if you can’t spend 24/7 with them.

I think about all the articles about the horrible things that happen to babies and young children. Articles that are reported on in order to raise awareness for the dangers. Dangers like babies being forgotten in hot cars, being hung by window blinds, drowning in a bathtub. These mother’s who lost their children do not get empathy. They do not get a heartfelt understanding from fellow mother’s who also adore their children and can only imagine the pain they are feeling. They get blamed, bullied and told that it’s their fault for not being perfect at all times.

Cyber-bullying has become a huge topic, even the future first lady plans to make it a priority.. I am assuming by taking away her husband’s phone, but people only think of it as a teenage problem. In reality everyone is a target. Anyone who disagrees with you or has never shared your experience feels the needs to tell you that you’re an idiot, and that you have no right to your opinion. I have seen white men tell black women that they have no right to be fearful of society. That they have no right to call people out on rape. That if they don’t get the job it’s because they’re lazy and stupid because, as a white male, they never had this problem.

This country has gone from “All men are created equal” and “everyone has the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” to “no one has any rights except me, and if youdownload-1 don’t agree with me then you’re a moron and are not entitled to an opinion”.

Everyone talks about how heart disease and cancer is on the rise, but no one wants to discuss that anger, hatred, and down-right evil tendencies are taking over everyone’s brainwaves. Road rage, cyber-bullying, back stabbing and manipulation are just national pastimes. You are the energy that you put out. You attract the energy that you create. This country has spent the last decade creating and expelling anger, hate and vile.. and you wonder how Trump became our leader?

parenting, Uncategorized

Pope says we’re turning to shit!

So the Pope thinks Americans are obsessed with shit… not in the literal sense, but he uses Pope Francis Holds Weekly Audienceit as a metaphor. He said that America’s preoccupation with all the useless, garbage, and down right fake news is the same as people with a fetish for poop.

I can’t say that I disagree. The Kardashians are more popular than Neil Degrasse Tyson. The most popular book in the last decade was about a rich man’s S&M compulsion, we have a reality show host who’s about to be our next president.. and when asked why people didn’t vote for Hilary, they spout off lunacy conspiracies about her killing people, running a sex ring out of a pizza shop.. and so on.  They truly feel that you if you don’t believe the garbage that their favorite nut job has spouted that you are the ignorant one.

This country has become so mind dead that everyone believes anything that makes them feel better about themselves. They watch people like the Kardashian’s because it makesmembers-of-the-kardashian-family-u1 them feel better to know that even though they are rich, they are way more screwed up than the average watcher.

I am a huge fan of Doctor Who, and the show has done a few different episodes, one in the first series of the new chapter in which the Doctor and company end up on Satellite 9, a space station that makes the news, they do not report it, they decide what the world should know and think and tells them. The Doctor of course stops this disaster, only to go back 100 years later and find that satellite 9 has been replaced by a giant game show/reality show world. The humans don’t even get a say in whether or not they get picked for the show, and if they lose they die.. but people keep watching… it doesn’t even cross their minds to stop.

Then there is another 2 parter, in which people are obsessed with new ear buds. The company that makes the ear buds happen to also be in charge of the media and download information directly into the wearers head at different intervals. The Doctor comments cybermen_formation_doomsdaythat “You lot, you’re obsessed. You’d do anything for the latest upgrade” which his human companion is offended by, but the fact remains. Humans, and especially Americans are looking for anyone to tell us what to think, what to buy, and how we should act… of course if anyone knows the Doctor, they know that the next step in the upgrade is removing the human brain and putting it into a robot body.

I feel like these are extreme representations of where our world is going. We no longer want to use our own brains.We are incapable of being bored for even a few minutes. We are constantly hooked into our devices and looking for anything that supports our feelings. We gave up critical thinking for an upgraded app that will make us feel better about ourselves without having to do or create anything ourselves. Basically our lives are turning to shit and we just melt our brains away to keep ourselves from noticing.