This may be a day late, but I just wanted to comment on some of the posts that I saw coming up on my feed about Valentine’s Day. I wish that I could say that I was amazed by the self deprecation and angst that I was seeing, but unfortunately it seems fairly par for the course. People were either pitying themselves for not having a love interest or they were acting jaded, expressing detest for the “fake” holiday.
I find this whole thing rather heartbreaking. The fact that people have such disdain for a day that is meant to celebrate love. I have not always been in a relationship, but I have always felt loved. When my father was alive he bought me a card, and for a long time, candy, every year. Now I have continued the tradition with my son, though I get him books not candy.
The day may have started out as a mating ritual, and Cadbury and Hallmark may have commercialized it, but that doesn’t have to change what it means to you. It hasn’t changed what it means to me.
Those of us that are in relationships often feel like it’s being pushed upon us, especially men. My boyfriend said this to me last year. He said that he thought it was a stupid holiday and that he shouldn’t feel as if he’s forced to show me that he loves me. That he can do that any day, why should the calendar dictate when he expresses himself? I asked him, “oh, really? So you feel like you show me that you love me everyday?…. when was the last time you and I went out ALONE together?”…. He paused… grabbed his phone and made reservations.
It’s not that he doesn’t love me, it’s that life that happens everyday that gets in the way. We both have work. We both have classes and the gym, and our 3 year old. I know that we take each other for granted a lot. It’s just the nature of things. Thanksgiving is a day to remember all the things we have to give thanks for. The fourth of July is a day to celebrate all the freedoms that we have. Birthdays are designed to celebrate our lives.. if only for one day. Months, years, decades go by so fast, we need a reminder… we need to take a moment and appreciate what and who is important to us.
My son is in school and they all exchanged valentines of some sort. Remember when you did that? Remember when it was a day to tell your best friend that they were the bestest? As we get older we begin to define ourselves by our relationships. If we are not in one, or it is not the kind that we always imagined we feel somehow less than. For those individuals Valentine’s Day feels like a personal attack. We tend to forget about all the people in our lives that truly do love us. Our family, our friends. I can tell you that I would do anything to get another silly card from my dad.