Category: bullying

bullying, Healthcare, parenting, Politics, school shootings

No one wants to talk.. they just want to win.

Katrina Russell

th (1)It amazes me the lengths people will go just to be right. A “friend” on Facebook just published a video about how the Left is so hypocritical that they are up in arms about illegal children but don’t try to do anything to stop children being killed here by guns and drugs… when I pointed out that the left has tried to put through policies for gun control and mental health he stated that no one was upset when Obama took the kids from their illegal parents.. when I cited articles that stated that Obama, though he held families and unaccompanied minors in detention centers, he didn’t actually separate babies from their moms. He then spent the next hour defending the policy to anyone willing to comment.

He said that the illegals shouldn’t be breaking the law, that, “How bad can their countries really be that they’d have to risk getting their kids taken away?”. When it was pointed out that some of the countries they are fleeing are violent, and that little girls are being raped and boys are being forced to join armies or drug cartels.. he said that we, as Americans, should just invade their “shithole” countries and take them over.

When it was pointed out that we could easily save the money that would be spent on wars and just aid those who wanted to leave he argued back that it’s not our job to save other people and that they just needed to stop breaking the law.. that just because he wants a new Escalade doesn’t mean he can just take one. He apparently didn’t understand the difference between protecting the lives of their children from rape and murder and getting a new expensive toy.

He went on and on about how if he breaks the law that he would have his children taken away.. even though it was explained that this is just a misdemeanor and no one would have their kids taken away for that.. and even if the kids were taken away in the case of a felony.. they wouldn’t be placed in a detention center. He argued in favor of this policy over and over and spoke of it’s praises and why it should be supported and how it’s all the illegals’ faults for being criminals… then he threw a curve ball and said that Trump had tried to change the policy but that Congress wouldn’t let him.

Obviously this confused me, so is the policy fabulous and right and deserves to be in place.. or is it horrible and bad and Trump is trying to change it? He told me that I was just trying to start an argument. I explained that while I enjoy a fact filled discussion this “argument” just took a turn.. he was no longer supporting his point. He was just going against “the Left” for the sake of it.

The original post was about the Left didn’t care about American children.. when it was pointed out that they did and were blocked in making changes.. he spent his time trying to prove why the Left was wrong for being disgusted by this policy.. then, in a sudden switch, said that this BAD policy wasn’t even Trump’s fault…. uuummm what?

I have noticed this is a growing trend. People don’t want to talk about facts or come up with a resolution.. they just want to be right. They will flop subjects or sides mid conversation just to save face. They make the most inflammatory comments just to confuse and befuddle their “opponent”. No one wants to help, no one wants to resolve.. people only want to win… even if by winning everyone loses.

bullying, Healthcare, Love

Why are we still not talking about suicide?

Katrina Russell

I don’t get the whole taboo way of thought about mental health. I grew up with a mother who was schizophrenic. I had no problem telling people this, and people always are shocked by my openness. My son’s father has mental health and addiction issues and when I mention this people hush me. I have an aunt who is actually educated as a therapist and the thought of me telling anyone that my ex is a drug addict makes her cringe.

I don’t get it. These are illnesses. If my son’s father had cancer should I keep that hushed? My father had diabetes, and there was no problem with me talking about that. Most mental illness can be, at least helped, by medication and or different cognitive therapies… don’t we want this?

Healthcare is a huge topic of discussion right now. Gun violence is a huge topic of discussion right now… two rich celebrities within a week of one another lost their battles with mental illness and killed themselves, and yet, no one actually wants to talk about mental illness. I mean, people will wear colors or post memes and pictures to commemorate the fallen, but no one wants to actually talk about what’s going on in this world… with themselves or their loved ones.

thNo one wants to understand how someone can loose all hope. No one wants to acknowledge the reality that is illness. They want to point fingers. They want to call the fallen weak and selfish and pathetic. They want to pretend that they are just so much stronger and would never be that desperate, but the truth is mental illness is everywhere and can affect anyone. The only way we can do anything to prevent any suicides and mass killings is to talk about mental health and to make it a safe and open environment for everyone to seek help.

If I break my leg I’m considered an idiot if I don’t go to a doctor.. but if something in me is broken. If I’m feeling just too sad, or too angry, or too fearful then I’m just a miserable person that needs to get over it and it’s my problem. If I try to seek help for my health them I’m labeled crazy. If I reach my breaking point and I do something desperate I’m the villain, even in the case of self hurting (suicide and/or drugs).. I’m not a victim… I’m out to hurt my loved ones.

I’m on social media a lot. There are all kinds of jokes, and memes about being miserable, hating other people, and feeling overly insecure, anxious, or stressed. This is completely normal and laughable. It’s become a staple in our society to be miserable. Relationships are designed to break our hearts, jobs are designed to break our spirits, and friends are only there to commiserate with. Anyone who talks about good things in life or wanting more are laughed at as if they’re delusional.

We have become a society of miserable, overly self medicated, unhealthy carbon sacks… and when anyone among us expresses that we have a real problem we are told that it’s all “in our heads” and that everyone is hopeless and not to feel special. WHAT?!?!?!?

Why would anyone want to be despondent? Maybe if we all had to get evaluated regularly with our mental health like we do with our physical health.. maybe just maybe… we wouldn’t be as sick, on all ends.

bullying, Law of Attraction, Love, parenting, Politics, Prayer

The father, the sun? the Holy what?

Katrina Russell

I just got back from church and today’s topic was a heated one that has been debated for millennia by theologians and novice alike.  What is the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit?  They are 3 different things… but yet all the same. The priest at my church discussed the different analogies used, like St Patrick and his shamrock, the theory that they were like the different stages of water, or some other that God was the sun, the light was Jesus and the warmth was the Holy Spirit. He concluded by saying that we may never understand, but that ours was not to know. Ours was to believe. That all would be clear after death.

Now, I know a lot of you are probably rolling your eyes. This is one of the problems that religion has. Everything must be taken as fact and believed without proof… but, in my humble opinion, proof is suspect.

If I tell someone that I believe that the world is amazing, that I find awe in a sunset, in the way that life renews itself, in the fact that water does only change and that because of it’s necessity in life it is incapable of ceasing to exist, that child birth and the bond created, no one would bat an eye. If I made a casual comment about how the “universe” is incredible that it was able to contrive such a masterpiece. Everyone would agree. If I said, “God is incredible”, I would get scoffs and eye rolls. If I said, “Allah is incredible” I would have Homeland security bugging my phones. If I said, “The Goddess is incredible” I’d get men claiming I’m a feminazi.

Vocabulary causes 90% of all problems in this world. I was talking with another mother the other day about cliques and how they separate kids, especially in high school. Humans are designed as a tribe species. We need other’s in order to survive. From the time of early man (you can choose your own origin) we needed each other for protection. We needed help with our young, help with hunting, and gathering, and babysitting. We needed to be with others who would love us as their own in order to ensure the continuation of our species.

Since most of the breeding happened within these tribes it started to create homogeneous looking, speaking, and so forth groups that created societies and cultures. When those from outside came into that tribe it was survival to be suspect, most people who ventured outside of their homeland were not looking to join another, they were looking to conquer, or pillage. There is nothing new about this. If an area ran out of food, they needed to find a new place that was full with food. If someone else was already there then they were an obstacle keeping your tribe from said food.

Most of us learned about the Roman Empire, the British Empire, the Vikings… and even the Europeans who came and “discovered” America. They did this not to assimilate or to help those who the “found”. They did it to get as much as they could for those who were like them… for their tribe. This is just how human nature works, and this is unfortunate.

If anyone ever bothered to talk to each other they would realize how alike they really are. How much people actually agree and just use different words for the same things. I’m not talking about the politics that go along with ideas, that’s where the tribes culture starts to come in to affect, but the main ideas behind the religion, the philosophy, the values are the same.

I was speaking with a Native American Owl Priestess and she was joking about the Twix commercial in which they use the example of the left and right Twix being the same as a bouncer and a doorman being the same.. or a spirit and a ghost being the same. Growing up I heard the Holy Ghost and the Holy Spirit interchanged. I’ve heard Jesus and God interchanged. I’ve heard Allah is what Muslims call God. Today in church they said how “God is Abba.. meaning Father” which is true. Abba is the Arabic word for Father… because Jesus WAS ARABIC.

These books that everyone follow are transcribed over and over from one tribe to the next, in one language to the next, and for anyone who ever saw the News Radio episode when Jimmy James’s book was translated to Japanese and then back, you would know how much even one word being changed can make a difference. The Bible has been translated how many times? In how many languages? And the Apostles shared their word literally by walking about and talking to people.. and then the story was verbally passed down… a game of telephone, anyone?

Now that’s not to say that it’s all a lie, or that I don’t believe. I, personally believe that anything is possible until proven otherwise.. it makes life much more interesting. Thanks to scientists and archaeologists many events and people that are talked about in the Bible… both versions.. have been found to be true. So, then the question lies in, how did things happen.

On the history channel I saw a show on the science behind Moses’s miracles, and how because of certain flooding and iron draining into the sea it made the water look red, and how the locust happen through because of a weather change.. and so on.. so scientists say that they PROVED God didn’t do these things.. that science did. I say semantics.

A while ago I read Dan Brown’s book Origin. I don’t want to give any SPOILERS but in it one of the characters proves that there is no God because everything can be explained by computer code. There is a real life Theoretical Physicist who agrees and questions whether or not we really live in the Matrix because of it. But those that believe in God just say.. “ok, then who wrote the code?”. Just because things can be explained by science doesn’t mean that God didn’t use that science to create the universe.

Neil deGrasse Tyson was interviewed about his belief in God and explained that he did not believe in isms.. much like Ferris Bueller. I agree with his logic. If I told you that I am a Christian then you would automatically assume certain things about me. If I explained that I am actually a Catholic it may change your thoughts a little.. I may seem more Democrat than Republican… If I said that I love to study Quantum Physics… that may throw a monkey wrench in yet another theory…. and there in lies the problem with vocabulary.

If you want to know who someone is don’t judge them based on who you think they are based on what you believe someone “like them” would, should, or could be. Talk to them… ask them what they believe, who they are, and what they feel. You’ll probably be surprised how much you have in common.

bullying, Law of Attraction, Love, Prayer

Is all love conditional?

Katrina Russell

Love… I mean real unconditional love. It was the topic of last week’s Mass at my church. Now, before you roll your eyes and click off, I am not here to spread my religion… nor do I believe there is only one spiritual path, and everyone is allowed to choose their own. The one thing that I do know is that any, and all spiritual awakenings begin and end with love. This does not mean romantic love, though it seems lately that’s the only kind people are actually interested. I mean true unconditional love.

charlie-brown-happy-valentines-cute-greetings-animated-gif-2Five years ago I became a mother. I thought I knew what love was before that. I had no idea. I had been in many relationships, some good some bad. I had one divorce behind me and another relationship that was headed for disaster. I had no idea how to love any of those men, but my son. That was easy. Loving my son was like breathing. I did it before I even met him. I loved him the second I saw that second line on the little stick telling me he existed. Though I didn’t even know that he was a he.

Two years and one month after my son was born my father died. That was my second lesson in love. True, unconditional love. The kind of love that… well, never dies. I was lucky. Growing up I knew that my father loved me. There was never any doubt. He said it and showed it everyday. Now, that didn’t mean he didn’t punish me when I acted up, or that he didn’t put me in my place when I needed, but he never made me doubt myself or him. My father was the one person I truly knew would always be there for me. He may have laughed at me when I did stupid things, and he may have wished me to make better choices at times, but he never once gave up on me, or made me feel like I was anything but capable and my life was full of possibilities.

I remember thinking a lot about family after that. I remember thinking about my past relationships and how or why they failed. I remember feeling like family was everything, and that the reason it is so is because we never give up on each other, and we never judge each other.

I have a brother. He and I couldn’t be more different if we were hatched from eggs on different sides of the planet. We like different music. We are on opposite sides of everything political. He thinks any kind of self help or therapy is a waste of time and feelings are for suckers. To him money and power are first and foremost… yet… When I needed his help; he was there. When I told him my plans for my business, he said, “I think you’ll be good at that”. He doesn’t have to agree with me or my beliefs to love me. Nor I his.

Last week in Mass, Father…. which ever one… talked about unconditional love in terms of Jesus.. and I get that, it’s kind of his thing, but he brought it around to the rest of us. He talked about how it’s the thing that is missing in the world today. We don’t like people who don’t look like us. Why should we help people who don’t live by us? If someone somewhere on the internet does something differently than we do… especially in parenting.. we basically commit a public stoning in the comments section.

We have forgotten to love. We have forgotten to love thy neighbor, where ever they may live. We have forgotten to love and respect our parents, and instead throw them in home when they become a burden. Most importantly, we have forgotten to show unconditional love to the person who matters the most. Ourselves. We bash ourselves. We poke fun at ourselves. We hate ourselves on a regular basis.

The words and phrases I mentioned above come from a particular text that you may or may not believe in, but that doesn’t lessen what they say. If I said that Jesus was not the son of God, but was the Tony Robbins of his day, just trying to help people be the best versions of them-self would that make a difference in your interpretations of those phrases? Does it matter who gives the advice if it’s the right advice? Does it matter how the words got corrupted if the source was genuine?

Nike’s tagline is “Just do it”. It’s simple yet elegant. It’s about getting out and being.. being active, being you.. just do it… They don’t even pretend to tell you what “it” is. They leave it to you to figure out for yourself. It is amazing advice. Yet, if some executive came out and said the “it” in “just do it” was “buy the shoes”. Just buy the shoes! Does that lessen the expression or the original intent? Nike originally paid a graphic designer just $35 for their trademark swoosh. They have since made billions of dollars and it’s one of the most recognizable logos of our time, does that change it’s worth. Does it change your opinion on the phrase, “just do it”? What if your knew that that slogan came from one of the founders of an ad agencies last words (I just Googled it.. maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not) does it matter?

If you believe that love, specifically unconditional love, is important. If you believe that you deserve that love; that everyone deserves that love… why does it matter who said it? Why does it matter where the message came from? And… what’s stopping you?

bullying, Giving, Law of Attraction, Love, Uncategorized

What happens when we forgive.

Katrina Russell

Forgiveness, it’s something people talk a lot about, but I don’t think most people understand. Most people think of forgiveness in terms of the old adage “forgive and forget” but that implies that forgiveness is about the other person. It implies that you’re letting someone off the hook for their bad behavior or for hurting you, but that’s not the way that I see forgiveness.

To me forgiveness is letting go.. not for them, but for you. I recently had an ex contact me. We’ve images (11)all had this ex.. in fact it wouldn’t surprise me if we all had this exact same ex, he did tend to get around.. I digress. This ex put me through the ringer. He was a huge cheat, great at gaslighting and making himself appear the victim while trying to make you feel like he wouldn’t have to cheat, or blow you off, or whatever damaging thing he did, if you didn’t_____ fill in with what ever you feel is your biggest flaw is.

For years this man plagued every relationship that I was in. He would contact me in an effort to get back together swearing that he changed. He never did. I got to the point that I ran so hard and fast away from him that I married the next man to come along.. not because I loved him, but because I never wanted to feel love again. He still played with me and I ended up ending my marriage. I put on 10s of pounds with my self esteem crashing into the abyss. He was both the man of my dreams and the reason why I could never trust another man as long as I lived. He was a huge scar that didn’t seem like it could ever heal.

After dealing with his crap for almost a decade I finally walked away. I was with, who I thought, was a great guy. I ended up having the most amazing little boy in the world. I had huge REAL tragedies and wonderful adventures, all without him. I went through the hardest year of my life, and even though I had the urge to call him so he could “make me feel better”, the more that I thought about him, the more I realized he just caused me pain.

That led to the opposite affect. Instead of wanting to call him I started to get angry at him. Blaming him for wasting so many of my years. Years that I could have met someone else. Years that I could have started a family earlier and given my father and son a chance to actually know each other. This created a fierce bitterness in me, and it started to bleed into other things that I did. I had real trouble creating any form of relationship. I had trouble trusting men at all, but I knew that I didn’t want to live like that.

I have spent the last 3 years working on every aspect of my life. I have concentrated on being the best mother that I can be. I have focused on becoming healthy physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I have created a life and a person that I really enjoy, but there was always something nagging at me. A song would come on the radio, or someone who make a face or use a phrase that I would say and that pain would strike like a hot dagger and I my blood would begin to boil. I hated him, and I started to question why. Why did I give this man that I knew in my 20s so much power over who I have become in my 40s. It has now been almost a decade since I have seen him and I still feeling trapped by him. Trapped by the feelings of wanting him and hating him.

He has followed me on many social media platforms over the years and came up on my Linkedin a couple months ago. In my haste to delete the suggestion I accidentally went into his profile.. that of course got me thinking about him and all of the damage that I needed to let go of. I ended up looking back at his profile one night… debating on whether or not to break down and just contact him when a contact request came in. I just went for it. I accepted the request and within 5 seconds there was a message from him.

It was all very pleasant. We caught up. He asked about my son whom he had seen on one of the social media platforms. He asked about his father and told me he was sorry to hear about mine passing. We talked about the basic stuff that anyone catching up would talk about. Then he asked me why I accepted his request after all of this time, and the truth is that I needed to. I needed to forgive him not for his sake but for my own. I needed to forgive myself for all the time I wasted being angry. I needed to talk to him again to see that he wasn’t the devil, but just some guy with just as much damage and confusion in his life as we all have. I had to take my power back.

And you know what? It felt really good. I may never talk to him again, or we could become those people that check in every once in a while just because, or he could even become my next best friend.. anything is possible. But the one thing he won’t be is a drain, because I deserve better than that.

bullying, Law of Attraction, Love, Uncategorized

How do you treat people?

Katrina Russell

I see it all the time. At least a few times a day on some social feed about how we should change the way we treat people based on how they treat us. If someone is an ass to you of course it gives you the right to be an ass to them. If you are good to someone and they take advantage of you then you have the right to take advantage me them, and of course, you shouldn’t even expect someone to treat you well.. as no one does.

downloadHow is any of this good? How is it that we have become a society of “screw you then” . Now, don’t get me wrong, if someone treats you badly then you should not put up with it. You should not just take it. You should stand up for yourself and demand respect… but that is very different than disrespecting someone else.

I talk to women everyday who have seriously bad situations that they are working through. Some are in abusive relationships, some are being assaulted or degraded at work, and some just feel underappreciated by everyone around them, and obviously they are in need of help. They are in need of finding a better way. What they do not need is to become the abusers, the degrading, or the lose the ability to appreciate.

We are how we react to others. That’s it. We are who our thoughts and our actions. We are not how other’s treat us, or what other’s say about us. We are what we say. So when someone says that they now have the right to be an ass to someone because “they started it” what does that make us? When we say, “what goes around comes around” or “why should I be good to anyone if no one is good to me?” who are we becoming?

I have always been the type of person to help when someone was down. I have always been the person that they could call when they needed help moving, or a little extra money, or a ride to the airport. I have always been the type of person that kept Advil in my desk in case anyone needed it. What I am not is the person who gets mad when my Advil runs out or when everyone else is too busy to help me move. It doesn’t help my headache.. and it won’t create a great environment for my new abode.

If someone else is there for you, GREAT! Appreciate that person and that moment. If someone else is struggling with their own world and can’t take a minute and put energydownload (1) into yours.. respect that too. There are very few people out there who are trying to harm others… regardless of what the media portrays. There are very few people out there wishing you harm. Do other’s sometimes have so much garbage going on in their lives that they can’t always take the time to think about you… yes.. of course! But that doesn’t require a “Anyone can make time if it matters” because that’s just not true. Yes, people have priories… but people also have their own personal garbage. They have the, “I don’t have the money to go out” and the “my house is too messy to invite others over” and the all favorite… “I’ve put on too much weight for anyone to see me” these are things that go through everyone’s head.

Now of course there are those situations where someone is actually bad to you. The SO that cheats on you, or steals from you, or beats you… No, do not “put up with” this behavior.. but do not get “even” either. If they break the law, by all means call the police and let them deal with it. If they broke your heart, take the lesson and move on, but this is not an excuse to harass them, cheat on them, steal from them, or ruin their lives. That is not going to help your life. This is not going to make you feel better or help you move on to something that is good for you. This is not going to make you a better person.

I know that we, as human beings, can feel that jealousy and vengeance is the normal.. and it is.. but it’s not helpful or healthy. It just keeps us reliving those negative feelings and digging ourselves deeper into a hole we may never escape. So the next time you feel hurt or slighted, don’t react.. just act.. like the person that you want to be.

 

bullying, Law of Attraction, Love, parenting, Uncategorized

What purpose does your anger serve?

Katrina Russell

How often do we find ourselves holding on to some past slight with both hands as if letting go would prove to be a sign of weakness? How often do we feel as though we need to validate every action that we take as proof that we are better than some bugger from our past treated us?

I look around at this world, at social media, at the news and I find it very difficult to see the good that I know is out there. It seems that everyone has their chip on their shoulder or their person or group or reason to blame for something not going right in their life, or their happiness not being met.

I started following a single parent group on social media and every post that they put up was some sort of male bashing, I am woman hear me roar, cliche… Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for girl power, but not at the sake of half the population, and not all single parents are women. I, personally, was raised by a single dad who belonged to that same organization.

When I commented as such and that we shouldn’t be placing blame on any specific side, the moderator responded, “well, it can be used for men too”. That wasn’t the point. Firstly, none of the posts were about men, and secondly, most of the time when a marriage falls apart there is not one side to blame. Most of the time there is plenty of blame to go around so to have a support group who posts things that fan the flames of anger seems the opposite of support.

Part of growing is understanding what we have done wrong in our past. It’s understanding our faults and our mistakes and missteps so we can learn to avoid them in the future. If we spend all of our time ranting in our “support” groups about how we were wronged, or how every bad thing that happened fell upon the shoulders of another, then we are no more prepared for our next journey than we were for our last.

When I think of empowerment I do not think of all the ways that we are better than someone else. I do not think of all the things that we can and should be doing to bring down another person or group. I think of ways that we should raise ourselves and each other up. We do not need to steps on the heads of our perceived enemies in order to rise, we just need to give each other a hand or a leg up.

There is plenty of anger and resentment in this world, and it doesn’t actually help anyone. This isn’t just a male/female issue either, it’s time we let go of all of it. That bully from 3rd grade probably either doesn’t remember you so it’s not worth letting them have power over you now, or had more issues in his life than you could have in a lifetime and didn’t know how to express is. That teacher that made learning impossible was one year… how many years ago? Your parents… oh God.. your parents were a mess.. yup.. they were human. They made mistakes. They made poor choices… maybe they were straight up a**holes, but who cares? I mean really… they messed up enough of your years as a child, now you are the adult and you have the ability to make your own choices. Are you going to be one of those adults, like your parents, who constantly makes the wrong ones, or are you going to step up and learn from those mistakes.

I see so many people who make excuses about why they can’t hold jobs, or have good relationships, or be good parents, and usually it’s because of how someone treated them in the past. How does that make any sense? You are telling me that you have the right to be a loser.. because your parents were losers and you hated them for it? Umm… not to sound to harsh, but grow up.. live YOUR life. Tomorrow your parents will be gone, that bully will be a memory, and those feelings… they can either percolate and control your future, or they can be released.. and you can understand that no one, not even parents or teachers, are perfect. That we all have our demons. We all make our own choices based on our own limited experiences… which experiences do you want to shape your life? Which life do you want to grow?

bullying, Giving, Law of Attraction, Love, parenting, Prayer, Uncategorized

The 7 Deadly Sins are of this life.. not the next.

Katrina Russell

We have all heard of Dante’s Infernal and the 7 deadly sins, it’s been used in countless movies and TV shows including “Seven”, “Charmed”, and “Supernatural”, just to name a few, but I always used to wonder why they were so horrible in the eyes of the after world (whichever after world you choose is fine). The more that I thought about it the more that I realized they had nothing to do with what happens next. They are all about this world… hence, deadly. These are the things that kill us and our spirit, our drive in this world.

download (27)We are all aware of addiction as a horrible disease. People who suffer from it destroy not only their own lives but cause serious damage to those around them. When a person is so consumed with something outside of them-self they can’t manage to do or think about anything else.. they put other things on the back burner.. they lose them-self to that addiction that is a deadly sin.

Now think about what those 7 deadly sins are:

Gluttony: which could be seen as food, or drink, or drug. The way it was used in Charmed was even shopping.. it’s obsessing over something. Some people use the expression “A glutton for punishment” because they always seem to go back to those that hurt them.

Sloth: The act of giving up on life.. seriously. You have no motivation to do anything. We all have those days, mine are usually on Sunday, when we just want to stay in our pjs and pretend the world away, and occasionally that is fine. But if you become the person who doesn’t want to get the new job, doesn’t want to go out with their friends, doesn’t want the new relationship.. out of fear, or anger, or just laziness, then you can watch years go by without actually doing anything. That’s just a slow death.

Lust: This one is a bit tricky. There of course is the sex addict, but I feel with a glutton definition that kind of falls under that category, but what about those people that will do anything to be in a relationship. It doesn’t matter what. They will change themselves, give up their own rights, their own principles. There are people who just don’t feel complete without the status of relationship on their facebook profile.

Then there’s the flip side. Those who are in perfectly great relationships, but need can’t be satisfied. They need to chase the high of “catching” a new romantic prospect. I have met a few people like this. They are the ones that have the affairs, not because they have fallen out of love with their spouse, but because they have an innate need to be wanted. This is very similar to the person who always needs the relationship. These people always need to prove that they are good enough to get the next one, and more often than not they lose the good thing that they already have.

Envy: This one is just a relationship killer. Any relationship, not just the romantic one. This is the one that makes you fight with your spouse over a smile at the wrong person, we get that, but it’s also the one that makes you shy away from interacting with those that you deem better for some reason. Whether you feel the other is better looking, smarter, or more successful, you either put them in a category of stuck up and therefore not someone that you would want to associate with, or you put them into a category of someone out of your league in which case you couldn’t possibly be someone they would want to know.

On top of personal relationships it’s what stops you from going for the job, the promotion, the bigger and the better, because you feel that there is no way that “I could possibly be the best candidate when there are so many more out there that are… smarter, more educated, have more experience” or whichever “truth” you decide fits your explanation. The only thing this does for us is keep us scared and incapable of moving forward.

Greed: Now this seems like it should go the opposite of envy and sloth and should be a great motivator to help someone be successful, but I guess that depends on your definition of success. Greed is not to be confused with ambition. It is great to have goals and be ready and willing to work and fight for those goals. It is a deadly sin when you start crossing lines and stealing, manipulating, and using others just to get what you want. When you start to realize that you have elevated the money or the prestige to be more important than the people around you you start to realize how much you have really lost.

Pride: This is another one that seems like it should be good, until you see it blown out of proportion. How many times have you heard of a family falling apart over pride. It could be a marriage or parents and children who don’t speak for years or even decades over something.. that half the time they can’t remember, or can’t admit wasn’t a big deal. Pride is a dangerous animal. It keeps you from giving up your principles and makes us all stronger for it, but it can be a huge stumbling block once it’s been damaged. There are many out there that hold so tightly to their pride they can’t even give the next person a chance for fear they may be made a fool again.

Wrath: This one is huge. This one is one that we see crippling nations and destroying civilizations. This is the one that needs an enemy. This is the one that needs to place blame on anyone else. This is the one that creates wars. Usually this one is a combination of the rest. This is the one that comes about when someone who is being greedy, and prideful feels envious and they obsess over who they can blame for their apathy. This is when we look for problems to to criticize others over instead of solutions to bring about peace and resolution. We are too angry to see anyone else’s perspective. We are too angry to see our part. The only thing we can do is accuse, and hurt back… and that’s never solved anything.

So as important as the afterlife is to most of us, the only life we actually have control over right now is the one that we are currently living. How do you want to spend your days? Do you want to do, see, and accomplish as much as you can? Do you want to love, learn, and experience all of the wonders that this life has? Or do you want to blame, ridicule, and waste the little time that you do have to be the person you always dreamed you could be?

 

bullying, Love, Politics, Uncategorized

She kissed a boy.. who didn’t like it

Katrina Russell

I’m sure that you’ve all heard about the infamous Katy Perry kiss, and there is a lot of opinions being circulated around what happened. Many people are comparing it to the #metoo movement, others are saying that he should feel lucky because who wouldn’t want to be kissed by Katy Perry. My opinion is, our opinions don’t matter.

This man, who was over the age of 18, made a clear decision to wait until he was in a relationship to have his first kiss. He made it very clear. There was no confusion on anyone’s part. He spoke about how he comes from a very conservative background and that in his heart he felt that was the right thing for him. Then Ms. Perry took it upon herself to cross that boundary.. as a joke.

Now a lot of people feel that it was just a kiss, or that he should be lucky that it was Katy Perry, and he tried to play it off, but you could see that it really rattled him. Even his comment about “was it good” was blown of as him being “cocky” but in his mind it was a real question. His first kiss was going to be something special.

x240-lnwSince then Mr Glaze has come out and said that he didn’t feel as if it was sexual harassment and that also is his opinion and he is entitled to it, but I feel as if this is an important conversation to be had. Why do people feel that just because something isn’t a big deal to them that it gives them the right to ruin, ridicule, or invade someone else?

Many have pointed out that had it been reversed and a young 19 year old girl had her first kiss “stolen” by a middle aged man (she is 33) then it wouldn’t have been as cute or as funny. #metoo is not a movement for just women. It is a movement for creating a dialog about what is and isn’t appropriate in a society that has deemed casual sex to be the norm and the swiping of a profile picture as an invitation to intercourse.

Maybe he did feel harassed at the time and has since recanted his original statement because of the belittling and bulling the messaged has received on the internet. Maybe it was just an “uncomfortable” moment that he will look fondly on after he finally gets his “real” first kiss. Either way this moment needs to be understood for what it was, and his feelings need to be valued.

 

bullying, parenting, Satire, Uncategorized

How to screw up your kids according to the internet

Katrina Russell

There is nothing more important in this world than the well being of our kids. So, as animages (5) empowering woman I took it upon myself to search the internet for the most common ways to screw up our kids in an effort to help us all avoid them. My research was very fruitful.

  1. Helicopter Parenting: This is a very common parenting style in which parents do everything for their child in an effort to make sure that their child never feels even the slightest bit uncomfortable. They cut and peel grapes for the high school aged, home schooled children who are still being read children’s books in an effort to keep them from learning anything that my be disturbing. Apparently “experts” have found that sheltering your child to the point of stunting mental and emotional development leaves children unable to make decisions and fend for themselves.
  2. Free-range parenting: This is another common approach to parenting in which the parents choose to do the exact opposite and let their children run free and happy and completely in charge of their own lives. They let their children go to the park on their own, make friends on their own, handle their own disputes… heck.. half the time they don’t even know where their own children are. They feel this is a great way to teach their children independence… but apparently “experts” have found that free range children are kidnapped 100% of the time.. or they run with scissors and stab themselves and their friends until there’s nothing left but a pin cushion… or something like that.
  3. Breast is Best: Breastfeeding has been in the news a lot lately. After much research and development scientists have found that the way mother’s fed their babies for millions of years actually may in fact be the best way to feed a baby. They have said that it not only gives them all the nutrients that their little bodies need but also helps in creating a bond between mother and child. In fact there is a chemical secreted during feeding (oxytocin) that gives both mothers and babies a feeling of well-being and love. But apparently “experts” have found that mothers who breastfeed are just attention seeking “drug addicts” using their infants to get that “oxy-high”…. and they’re gross because they want babies to be sucking on their boobies… even in PUBLIC! perverts
  4. Bottle feeding: Bottle feeding is the best way to feed your baby. You can gauge how much they’re eating. The formulas now a days come with many different ingredients so you can not only make sure that your child gets all the nutrition needed but also can pick one that won’t have any allergens.. like.. milk.. or soy.. or some other food that used to not have anyone allergic to it. But the “experts” say that feeding a baby from a bottle is akin to child abuse because the baby could never feel loved without the bonding that occurs during breastfeeding.
  5. Co-sleeping: Now I did not know this, but I guess co-sleeping has been around for millions of years. In fact at one point babies didn’t even have their own cribs at all.. actually, no one really had beds.. but the point is, I always thought co-sleeping was just some hippy thing people made up. Co-sleeping is the act of sleeping with your baby. That’s pretty much it. The “experts” however, have declared that this is the fastest way to kill your child and cause SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and while there is still no cause for SIDS the “experts” still say it’s sleeping next to your baby.
  6. Sleep training: This is the action of teaching your child that it’s time for bed. The point of this is to make sure that your child sleeps at a good time so that the child is able to let it’s brain develop properly. It is usually used by people who do not co-sleep, as they teach their baby to sleep by themselves, and to sooth themselves. It is designed also to teach independence. However, “experts” say that letting your child cry at all in any way is cruel and unusual punishment and that anyone who sleep trains should be waterboarded and have bamboo stuck under their fingernails to see how they like being tortured.
  7. Spankings: Spanking is the act of slapping a child with appropriate force on the bum in order to curb behavior. “Everyone” was spanked in every other generation ever and that is the only way children could ever learn how to behave. The reason why kids today are such ruddy little prats is because no one spanks anymore.. except all the people who still believe spanking is the only way. The “experts” believe that any small amount of pain to one’s backside, even in an effort to save the child’s life (ie the child keeps unbuckling his car seat and thinks it a game to have mama freak out and stop the car to buckle him back up) is detrimental to the child’s state of mind and can only create serial killers in the future.
  8. Timeouts: Timeouts is the practice of removing a child from a situation after the child has acted out and putting them in a chair or safe space for the appropriate amount of time (1 min per year of age) in an effort for the child to “think about their behavior”. Back in the old days this was called being sent to the corner.. not sure how it changed. The “experts” feel that this is akin to putting an inmate in solitary confinement and that anyone who thinks that punishment of any kind is appropriate for a child just shouldn’t have kids.. in fact they should be sterilized immediately!

So.. I hope this helps clear up any confusion that you may have as a parent. I know I love all the “expert” opinions that I have received over the years. If you can think of anything that I haven’t put on the list, by all means be sure to share in the comments.