bullying, coaching, Love, Motivation, Politics, Uncategorized, women, Women's movement

She kissed a boy.. who didn’t like it

I’m sure that you’ve all heard about the infamous Katy Perry kiss, and there is a lot of opinions being circulated around what happened. Many people are comparing it to the #metoo movement, others are saying that he should feel lucky because who wouldn’t want to be kissed by Katy Perry. My opinion is, our opinions don’t matter.

This man, who was over the age of 18, made a clear decision to wait until he was in a relationship to have his first kiss. He made it very clear. There was no confusion on anyone’s part. He spoke about how he comes from a very conservative background and that in his heart he felt that was the right thing for him. Then Ms. Perry took it upon herself to cross that boundary.. as a joke.

Now a lot of people feel that it was just a kiss, or that he should be lucky that it was Katy Perry, and he tried to play it off, but you could see that it really rattled him. Even his comment about “was it good” was blown of as him being “cocky” but in his mind it was a real question. His first kiss was going to be something special.

x240-lnwSince then Mr Glaze has come out and said that he didn’t feel as if it was sexual harassment and that also is his opinion and he is entitled to it, but I feel as if this is an important conversation to be had. Why do people feel that just because something isn’t a big deal to them that it gives them the right to ruin, ridicule, or invade someone else?

Many have pointed out that had it been reversed and a young 19 year old girl had her first kiss “stolen” by a middle aged man (she is 33) then it wouldn’t have been as cute or as funny. #metoo is not a movement for just women. It is a movement for creating a dialog about what is and isn’t appropriate in a society that has deemed casual sex to be the norm and the swiping of a profile picture as an invitation to intercourse.

Maybe he did feel harassed at the time and has since recanted his original statement because of the belittling and bulling the messaged has received on the internet. Maybe it was just an “uncomfortable” moment that he will look fondly on after he finally gets his “real” first kiss. Either way this moment needs to be understood for what it was, and his feelings need to be valued.


bullying, coaching, Law of Attraction, Motivation, Prayer, religion, Uncategorized

Why is Atheism Suddenly a Movement… part 2

This is a response to the last blog post that I did about Atheism vs Religion. There seemed to be some confusion about my definition of Religion. I was not speaking about any specific religion or saying that people shouldn’t be opposed and speak out about horrific things done in the name of religion. I am simply speaking about those who try to belittle and change the mind of those who believe that there is something more to life than what we can see.

I was not raised in any particular religion, though my father was raised Catholic and download (4)being raised in the US we celebrated all of the commercial Christian holidays: Christmas, Easter… and to a lesser extent Halloween. My father read me the children’s Bible when I was younger, but that was half out of obligation to my mother who gave it to me, and half because he felt that it was part of our modern culture and he wanted me to be educated on it.

As I got older I met more and more people of different religions and my father always encouraged me to learn about them and make my own decisions on which, if any, that I chose. He always felt that it was never a bad thing to be well informed and well read.

Most of my life I didn’t identify with any religion… except maybe The Force.. I’m still trying to get that remote from across the room. I did feel like there was more to life than just living, eating, procreating, and dying… unless you’re a praying mantis. I felt connected in some way to Jesus, because of the family and the culture that I grew up in, and I believed in ghosts, reincarnation, not so much Hell. I came to believe in my own version of what I thought made sense.

After learning about quantum physics and some theorists interpretation of how consciousness creates outcomes, and how we are made from the same stuff as star dust I felt even more sure that there was more to everything that what is understood…. dark matter/energy, anyone?

After I had my son I had a pull towards the Catholic church. I wanted him to be baptized like everyone else in our family. I knew that I didn’t want him to go to the public school in my town and the local Catholic school was known to be wonderful. I met with my family church counselor and eventually received my confirmation. I wasn’t sure how much more I wanted to do with it, but I left that door open.

Then my father died. That was absolutely the worst thing in the world that has ever happened to me. I had moved back in with him after his diabetes was getting progressively worse and eventually I met a man who understood my predicament and though he wasn’t thrilled with living with his girlfriend’s father we made due after my father had a stroke and needed a quadruple bypass. We went on to have the most amazing son in the world…. but unfortunately that man was not up for the challenge and left me alone with a one year old boy and my sick father.

Thankfully for the most part my dad was fine. He had what we called “episodes”. His download (6)blood sugar levels would drop to the point where he would become hypothermia and the paramedics spent a lot of time at my house.  My father, however, was still working and paying most of the bills while I worked at home part-time teaching ESL online to people across the world nights after my son went to sleep .

This went on for about a year. Then one month after my son’s second birthday my dad said his good-nights and never woke up. I was completely devastated. I blamed myself for not checking on him. I was completely grief stricken. Forget the fact that I had no idea how I was going to pay the bills and how I was going to take care of my son all by myself I grieved for all of the moments that my son would never have with him. I grieved all the moments that he would never have with my son.

My son was 2 years old. His long-term memories hadn’t even begun to form. I was so distraught by the fact that my son wouldn’t know my dad. My wonderfully amazing dad.

But then as time went by my son still spoke about “Papa”. He spoke about conversations they could never have had. Later that year for my birthday I gave myself the present of going to London with my son… that same day my father’s long-term girlfriend died… on my birthday. We had a lovely trip, we saw all kinds of amazing things and had wonderful adventures while there. When we returned home it was night and my 2.5 year old was asleep. When we woke the next morning my son looked around and asked, “where’s Papa?”, as if he was expecting him to be waiting for us when we got back. I just told him that he was with Mary (his girl-friend’s name).

After a while my son was back to talking about him as if he were a friend. He was adamant that Papa was at his 3rd birthday and loved the cake. Maybe he was, maybe it was a little grieving boy’s imagination… but what’s the harm in believing?

It was after that I decided to start becoming more proactive at church. It’s not that I believe everything they say. I understand that the Bible was written by people and that most of the rules were designed around politics and the economy. I understand that if God did come down and speak to people and that his word was passed down from generation to generation there is a good chance it’s been altered anyway. We’ve all played telephone.. never mind in different languages.

But I choose to believe that my father and son were communicating all that time. I choose to believe that my father is still watching us and seeing the amazing little boy that my son is growing into. I choose to believe that I will see him again one day, and if I find comfort in that… why would you begrudge me just because you don’t.

I’m not here to say that everyone should believe in Christ. I’m not here to say that if you disagree with a practice of a church that you shouldn’t fight against it. There is a difference between an organized religion, and a spiritual hope. You don’t have to want more… you don’t have to need to feel connected…. but why tear others down who do? There is no proof either way and many unanswered questions. Many scientist believe in some sort of God… who are you to say otherwise?


coaching, Motivation, religion, Uncategorized

Why is Atheism Suddenly a Movement?

I was watching an interview with Ricky Gervais, and I have to say that normally I love that guy. I think he’s fabulously hilarious, but I don’t understand his need to spread Atheism. It seems like an odd thing to talk about. I mean I get that he doesn’t believe in a God and that is his right. We are allowed to believe anything we want. My problem is his need to explain to everyone that he doesn’t believe, why he doesn’t believe and try to talk other people out of believing.

StupidAtheistBeliefsSee, here’s my thing. I don’t like Football (American or otherwise). I just don’t really care for it in any way. I see people fighting over it, and obsessing over it. I see people who have their team that they love and believe in win or lose. I see people who never miss a Sunday. I see people who worship the players, and dress in their gear…. and I don’t care.

I don’t go around talking about how they’re stupid to be so hung up on a game they aren’t actually playing, or that they have no right to root for a team that has never won a championship… I just don’t care. This is not something that I spend an awful lot of time thinking about.. unless I happen to date a crazed fan and it directly impacts my life.. or I’m looking for a comparison for my article.

The truth of the matter is that I don’t care what you like or dislike, what you believe or don’t believe, as long as you don’t try to put your beliefs on me. So the new Atheist movement to me is just a new fanatical religion. They are so sure they are right that they have to convince everyone else that they are wrong. Why does it matter?

coaching, Giving, Health, Healthcare, Homeless, Love, Motivation, parenting, Politics, religion, Uncategorized, Veterans, Wellness, Women's movement

The season of giving

The season of giving is over. Thanksgiving is long forgotten, except by our pants. Christmas is a lovely memory. We are all in the process of throwing dead trees and left over wrapping away. We are ready for our New Year/New Me. We are planning all of the things that we want to do to make our lives better.

We’re going to lose weight, quit smoking, go back to school, get a new job, get a better relationship… we are going to make our lives perfect!

thBut what about all of those who are just hoping to get through the bitterly cold nights? The food pantries and soup kitchens don’t just have “guests for the holiday”. We all talk about the things we want to get and achieve, but what about the things that we want to give.

At the time of Holy Days we all talk about how “it’s better to give than to receive” and how “giving is its own reward”, then the new year starts and we suddenly forget that there are poor people. We have battles online with strangers about all of the people leaching off the system.. as if anyone is choosing to be poor and/or starving and homeless.

I understand more than most that people make their own reality… but this doesn’t mean that they do it by choice. Some aren’t strong enough to make better choices. Some have mental illnesses that prevent them… not everyone has a well-built support system in place to deal with things like childcare, or even a place to shower and get mail so they may apply for a job.

Most of all I think of the children. In the past I have volunteered for a program called “Horizon’s for Homeless Children” a program in which adults volunteer to hang out with children in homeless shelters. This gives parents a chance to work, and children a larger support system in which to depend. I have also been a Big Sister through the Big Brother/Big Sister program, and have given many a present to a giving tree or tows for tots. This past winter I found myself taking tags for boys my son’s age because the thought of him waking up on Christmas with nothing was heart breaking.

I’m amazed when I read comments online about how poor people shouldn’t have children… yet, those are the same people opposed to birth control being covered by insurance… or insurance being covered at all. I’m amazed when I read that everyone who’s on food stamps are just lazy. I’m amazed when I read from the same people about “Pro-Life!”… it seems to me that you’re just pro-rich-life.

Now this is not an abortion debate. I, myself, have issues with abortion and it has nothing to do with my religion and more to do with the science that has come about and the understanding of when babies can feel and think and so on..  This is a humanity rant (for lack of a better word). I am completely PRO LIVING. I am pro helping those who need help. I am Pro feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, healing and hopefully preventing sickness. I am not only for this depending on which job you have had in the past, or what color or country that you are born. I am for LIFE.

The season for giving is every season.

coaching, Law of Attraction, Love, Motivation, parenting, Politics, Prayer, religion, Uncategorized, Wellness

I’m a dreamer…

I saw a post the other day with a meme that used the famous song lyrics, “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.” over the faces of some well known civil rights activists. It was meant to be a positive message. Instead there were a bunch of people commenting about how John Lennon was a drug addict and all other faults they knew about the other icons.

ubjjsThe funny thing is it’s completely ironic… the post is saying that we need to love one another not tear each other apart. For some reason today people feel that everyone needs to be perfect. That no one can be flawed but WANT better.

Social Media was designed to bring people together but instead all people do is nitpick. They find any flaw and magnify it. They hear any story and look for someone to blame. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen someone comment on a post in a well meaning way only to have someone point out that the original comment used improper grammar or spelling. OK.. thank you.. but that is not the point. How many parents have been blamed for a horrible accident? How many celebrities are judged for what they wear off camera?

The world needs to learn to love. We need to learn to love ourselves. We need to learn to love our neighbor. We need to stop hating on everyone and everything because we are not perfect. Love isn’t about perfection. Life isn’t about perfection. It’s about learning and growing and accepting.





coaching, Health, Law of Attraction, Love, Motivation, parenting, Prayer, religion, Uncategorized, Wellness, women

Your beliefs are all you have

Beliefs are a very powerful thing. Our entire existence resonates around the things that we believe. We believe we are beautiful or ugly… we believe we are smart or stupid.. we believe we deserve good things or that bad things will always happen to us.

“I think therefore I am”. One of the most famous philosophical understandings of all times. If we are capable of thinking then we must exist, and the things that we think must make us who we are. If we think that things can only get better, then we will keep trying till they do. If we think that things can only get worse, then we’ll give up. Seems pretty simple.

Well, what about bigger beliefs? What about religious and  spiritual beliefs? They too make us who we are and affect how we deal with things. Before my  father died I was a bit more agnostic. I acknowledged something was out there, but I didn’t really know what.  I’m still not sure, but I have turned my belief a little more towards religion. My son started Catholic school, and we started to attend Mass on Sundays and I like and appreciate the idea of the afterlife. I like and appreciate the idea that my father is looking down on us… or checking in on us in some way and seeing how we are doing and is proud of us.

th (1)I had an interesting experience this past weekend in which we had gone to a party with some of my son’s father’s old high school friends. It was mentioned that our son goes to Catholic school and I later heard one of the women talking to my son’s father about it. He was saying how he hated it and that he thought the whole idea was stupid, but kept his mouth shut around my son. That is fine, he doesn’t have to believe the things that we do. My brother is a complete atheist and feels much more comfort KNOWING that when we die our bodies get eaten by worms and that’s it… no mystery.

I was raised to understand that everyone has their own ideas, and their own beliefs, and that no one really knows for sure.. it’s what resonates with you best that works. What bothered me about the conversation between the woman and my ex, was the tone of disapproval.  I don’t want my son growing up feeling that way.

The next day my  son, who is 4, and I were putting together a puzzle. I had found it under a stack of books and told him that I had forgotten about it. That “Papa” had bought it for him  when he was a little baby and was too young to use it at the time.. but it was perfect for him now. After we finished the puzzle he looked at it somberly and I asked him what he was thinking. “I wish Papa was here to see us do this”. That little sentence broke my heart… but thankfully he has been learning about God and Heaven and I was able to say, “I think Papa is watching us from Heaven and is very proud of you”.

Now, I don’t KNOW that’s true. I don’t KNOW that my father isn’t just the pile of ashes in the urn on my piano and that’s all that’s left… but I do know.. that doesn’t comfort me, and it doesn’t comfort my 4 year old…. and doesn’t hurt anyone to for us to believe that Papa is watching and proud of us.

coaching, Houston, Law of Attraction, Motivation, Politics, Prayer, religion, Uncategorized

Actually, Yes, send your prayers!

21149994_2161878090566549_2049937517285688697_nI saw a meme on Facebook that had plenty of likes and I understood the point, but no. Yes, If you have the money and the time available, by all means get out there and help. Go for it.. do what ever you can… but that’s the point. Do whatever you can. Some people feel as though prayer is a waste of time, but any positive energy sent to those in pain is a good thing. Even if you don’t believe in the power of vibration.. the law of attraction.. or the power of prayer, I imagine you must understand how it feels to see that others are thinking of you and hoping for your well-being.

There is a reason that people hold vigils for someone who dies. There’s a reason why memorials are constructed… and sympathy cards have become an entire market. People need to know that others care. People need to know that they are not alone.

So yes, even if you can’t afford to give the extra money. Even if you can’t jump the next plane to Houston… You can give. You can do good. You can send your prayers.. support… energy to those in need, and let them know that they are not alone. Let them know that there is always hope. Let them know that you care.


coaching, Love, Motivation, parenting, Politics, religion, Uncategorized, Veterans, Wellness

This is no place for hate!

Anyone who knows me knows that I try to look on the positive side of things. I am the little Pollyanna of the crowd. Even when bad things happen I’m the one making the jokes… but I have to say, after this past weekend it’s very difficult to keep smiling.

I am a bit of a news junkie. I studied history and poli-sci in college and am fairly active in volunteering and helping to make the world a better place for my son and the next generation. This past weekend made me sick. The fact that there are Nazis, White Supremacists, Anti-Semites… or any other name they choose to use still carrying guns and torches in my country makes me physically nauseous.

images (30)This is the country that FOUGHT the Nazis. My grandparents were in the war. We still have movies commemorating the brave men and women who gave their lives. Anne Frank’s diary is part of our current school curriculum… and yet.. marching in the streets. Anger, Hate, Violence. All I can say is NO. NO, I will not allow this to be my country. NO, I will not allow this to be the country that my son grows up in. NO, this will not be the country that my half Filipino nephew grows up in. NO, this will not be the future. NO!

And to be honest, I don’t really care which political figure says what about it. Who condones, who condemns, who ignores is not my problem. We are not a country of politicians. We are a country of mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and children. We need to speak up. We need to not let hate, fear, and anger control the media and the tone of our world.

Nothing was ever accomplished by hate. If we want to make America and the World great and a place to be proud of for our children, we need to learn empathy. We need to learn compassion. We need to learn to love again.

coaching, Health, Love, Motivation, parenting, Uncategorized, Wellness, women

Be Brave!

Last night our church did a family night and showed the Disney movie “Brave”. I have to admit it was the first time that I had seen it. My son had been asking to see it for a few weeks after seeing an picture somewhere and when I saw the Facebook post from my church I thought… free… fabulous!!

Anyway, the church had their interpretation of the movie and about reconciliation and forgiveness and all the good things that go along with the good book, but as a Life Coach I had a very different view of the movie.

Clearly the girl had issues with her mother. And obviously neither of them handled themselves properly, and to be honest I was way more on the girl’s side than her mother’s… even though I am a mother now.. and obviously always right.

But the thing that grabbed me about the movie were the wisps. The Merdina was fierce and powerful and willing to fight for her own destiny… yet as soon as the wisps appeared she gave up on her own will and followed them into the unknown for no other reason than because they were “supposed” to lead her to her destiny.

Wasn’t that what this fiery red head trying to fight against and establish for herself? Her own destiny. People in movies love to put their fate in magic. In some greater power than themselves. Ariel gave up her own voice for magic. Cinderella couldn’t go to the ball on her own, she needed her Fairy God Mother to create a new life for her. Aladdin needed the Genie and so on… and by the end of the movie they all realize that they had the power within from the beginning… that’s a Wizard of Oz thing for you.

Yet in real life it’s the same. We grow up on these movies. Being taught that we have the power to create the life we want, yet we are always turning to someone else. We need someone to give us a job. We need someone to love us, to marry us. We need someone or something to create our worth and our destiny. Can’t we, as a society, finally realize that if we want the life we desire… we need to decide.. and do it ourselves.

coaching, Health, Love, Motivation, Uncategorized, Wellness, women

The Law of Attraction explained in real terms

Some people don’t like the idea of the “Law of Attraction”. They feel that it seems to woo woo crazy and supernatural.. but I have a question. If I just said the phrase, “You accomplish what you work on” would you think that crazy? The Law of Attraction is all about creating what you think about. Now you can think of it in terms of energy cycles if you choose or you can think of it in terms of tangible things that you work on.

Let’s say there were two people interviewing for the same position. The fist person th (1)walked into the interview and said, “I love this company. I have researched it. I love your business plan and have many great ideas as to how I can help you achieve those plans.” The other person walked in and said, “I really need a job. How much does this pay and what are the hours?” Which person do you think will get the job.

This is sort of an example of The Law of Attraction. You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want. Let’s say you have one person who really wants to be rich. They will do anything to be rich. They try all the get rich quick schemes. They invest in project after project waiting for their big break. The other person really wants to be rich and takes a look at all the people around him that are rich and finds one that does or is close to what he wants to do or be. He starts to learn everything that he can about that person, that field, and becomes an expert. Which one do you think is more likely to get rich.

When my father was alive it used to drive him crazy when I would say that I was tired. He would respond, “Of course you are. You keep telling yourself that you are” and it’s true. It’s a form or brainwashing. We concentrate really hard on many things in life. Some good, some bad, and the things that we concentrate on are the things that we accomplish. This is not magic. This is common sense.

So instead of concentrating on all the reasons why we can’t do things. Why things are so hard and things are so impossible to accomplish. We should look to the people who have already accomplished those things.. and learn from them. It can be done.