You're the only person you have to live with the rest of your life
In one camp there are the people who will never forgive. "Those *fill in expletive* don't deserve my forgiveness", people. The ones who every time a name is mentioned, even if it's not the actual person, just the name in common, this one gets a knot in their stomach. This one has been hurt so badly they will never forget, and never give anyone else a chance to hurt them like that either. They will take that pain to the grave, and to whatever afterlife may come.
Yet every generation becomes more and more depressed. More and more dependent on drugs and alcohol. More and more suicidal. All anyone ever does anymore is complain about how miserable they are. How lonely they are. How broken they are. But when you suggest that maybe that is because they have nothing to believe in or goals to accomplish, or real relationships to depend on they just respond with something about the patriarchy and "ok Boomer".
I don't see trauma in that way. I certainly don't see bad things that happen to me as a reflection of me at all. I didn't cause my parents to divorce, or my brother to leave, or my son's father to do drugs, or my parents to die. These are things that other people have done that affect me but does in no way embody me. I am who I am despite all of these things happening around me and to me. I am who I am because of all of the things that happen around me and to me. It doesn't do anyone any good to create a persona of trauma and hold onto it so tightly that it drowns you.
For those who don't know there is great debate in the scientific community about whether or not free will is possible. The theory is that time is a relative construct. Therefore everything that has ever happened or ever will happen is happening all at once and time is just how we are experiencing these events. T
I think that the problem with finding "true love" is that people want the fairytale, but no one lives "happily ever after". There are always problems, and there are always lulls, and people are always taken for granted as time goes on. None of that has to do with love.. I used to say that love is not a feeling.. it is a verb. Love is an action that we have to do everyday. I am a huge Doctor Who fan, and in an episode he states that "Love is a promise" and I feel that too.
The reason why I find this information so incredibly interesting and incredibly infuriating is that it's true, and most people choose not to believe it. When people come to me for help they want there to be an outside influence that can change their life. They want their problems to be someone or something else's fault. When I explain to them that their life is an accumulation of their life choices and that to change it they just have to change the way they look at life and start making better choices people actually get mad at me.
Why has celebrating love become a bad thing? Why is sharing emotions (other than disgust) laughable? When are we going to start to understand that love is the most important thing that we have in this world and that it's only accomplished by doing?
With Valentine's Day right around the corner it's time to really think about love.. and not just the romantic kind. People who claim to be Christian seem to forget Jesus's biggest message was to love everyone the same
This world is full of billions of people and billions of different beliefs. What I believe about God and the Universe really helps me through my life... but you don't have to believe the same.. and that's ok.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.