Tag: community

bullying, Law of Attraction, Love, Uncategorized

How do you treat people?

Katrina Russell

I see it all the time. At least a few times a day on some social feed about how we should change the way we treat people based on how they treat us. If someone is an ass to you of course it gives you the right to be an ass to them. If you are good to someone and they take advantage of you then you have the right to take advantage me them, and of course, you shouldn’t even expect someone to treat you well.. as no one does.

downloadHow is any of this good? How is it that we have become a society of “screw you then” . Now, don’t get me wrong, if someone treats you badly then you should not put up with it. You should not just take it. You should stand up for yourself and demand respect… but that is very different than disrespecting someone else.

I talk to women everyday who have seriously bad situations that they are working through. Some are in abusive relationships, some are being assaulted or degraded at work, and some just feel underappreciated by everyone around them, and obviously they are in need of help. They are in need of finding a better way. What they do not need is to become the abusers, the degrading, or the lose the ability to appreciate.

We are how we react to others. That’s it. We are who our thoughts and our actions. We are not how other’s treat us, or what other’s say about us. We are what we say. So when someone says that they now have the right to be an ass to someone because “they started it” what does that make us? When we say, “what goes around comes around” or “why should I be good to anyone if no one is good to me?” who are we becoming?

I have always been the type of person to help when someone was down. I have always been the person that they could call when they needed help moving, or a little extra money, or a ride to the airport. I have always been the type of person that kept Advil in my desk in case anyone needed it. What I am not is the person who gets mad when my Advil runs out or when everyone else is too busy to help me move. It doesn’t help my headache.. and it won’t create a great environment for my new abode.

If someone else is there for you, GREAT! Appreciate that person and that moment. If someone else is struggling with their own world and can’t take a minute and put energydownload (1) into yours.. respect that too. There are very few people out there who are trying to harm others… regardless of what the media portrays. There are very few people out there wishing you harm. Do other’s sometimes have so much garbage going on in their lives that they can’t always take the time to think about you… yes.. of course! But that doesn’t require a “Anyone can make time if it matters” because that’s just not true. Yes, people have priories… but people also have their own personal garbage. They have the, “I don’t have the money to go out” and the “my house is too messy to invite others over” and the all favorite… “I’ve put on too much weight for anyone to see me” these are things that go through everyone’s head.

Now of course there are those situations where someone is actually bad to you. The SO that cheats on you, or steals from you, or beats you… No, do not “put up with” this behavior.. but do not get “even” either. If they break the law, by all means call the police and let them deal with it. If they broke your heart, take the lesson and move on, but this is not an excuse to harass them, cheat on them, steal from them, or ruin their lives. That is not going to help your life. This is not going to make you feel better or help you move on to something that is good for you. This is not going to make you a better person.

I know that we, as human beings, can feel that jealousy and vengeance is the normal.. and it is.. but it’s not helpful or healthy. It just keeps us reliving those negative feelings and digging ourselves deeper into a hole we may never escape. So the next time you feel hurt or slighted, don’t react.. just act.. like the person that you want to be.

 

bullying, Law of Attraction, Love, parenting, Uncategorized

What purpose does your anger serve?

Katrina Russell

How often do we find ourselves holding on to some past slight with both hands as if letting go would prove to be a sign of weakness? How often do we feel as though we need to validate every action that we take as proof that we are better than some bugger from our past treated us?

I look around at this world, at social media, at the news and I find it very difficult to see the good that I know is out there. It seems that everyone has their chip on their shoulder or their person or group or reason to blame for something not going right in their life, or their happiness not being met.

I started following a single parent group on social media and every post that they put up was some sort of male bashing, I am woman hear me roar, cliche… Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for girl power, but not at the sake of half the population, and not all single parents are women. I, personally, was raised by a single dad who belonged to that same organization.

When I commented as such and that we shouldn’t be placing blame on any specific side, the moderator responded, “well, it can be used for men too”. That wasn’t the point. Firstly, none of the posts were about men, and secondly, most of the time when a marriage falls apart there is not one side to blame. Most of the time there is plenty of blame to go around so to have a support group who posts things that fan the flames of anger seems the opposite of support.

Part of growing is understanding what we have done wrong in our past. It’s understanding our faults and our mistakes and missteps so we can learn to avoid them in the future. If we spend all of our time ranting in our “support” groups about how we were wronged, or how every bad thing that happened fell upon the shoulders of another, then we are no more prepared for our next journey than we were for our last.

When I think of empowerment I do not think of all the ways that we are better than someone else. I do not think of all the things that we can and should be doing to bring down another person or group. I think of ways that we should raise ourselves and each other up. We do not need to steps on the heads of our perceived enemies in order to rise, we just need to give each other a hand or a leg up.

There is plenty of anger and resentment in this world, and it doesn’t actually help anyone. This isn’t just a male/female issue either, it’s time we let go of all of it. That bully from 3rd grade probably either doesn’t remember you so it’s not worth letting them have power over you now, or had more issues in his life than you could have in a lifetime and didn’t know how to express is. That teacher that made learning impossible was one year… how many years ago? Your parents… oh God.. your parents were a mess.. yup.. they were human. They made mistakes. They made poor choices… maybe they were straight up a**holes, but who cares? I mean really… they messed up enough of your years as a child, now you are the adult and you have the ability to make your own choices. Are you going to be one of those adults, like your parents, who constantly makes the wrong ones, or are you going to step up and learn from those mistakes.

I see so many people who make excuses about why they can’t hold jobs, or have good relationships, or be good parents, and usually it’s because of how someone treated them in the past. How does that make any sense? You are telling me that you have the right to be a loser.. because your parents were losers and you hated them for it? Umm… not to sound to harsh, but grow up.. live YOUR life. Tomorrow your parents will be gone, that bully will be a memory, and those feelings… they can either percolate and control your future, or they can be released.. and you can understand that no one, not even parents or teachers, are perfect. That we all have our demons. We all make our own choices based on our own limited experiences… which experiences do you want to shape your life? Which life do you want to grow?

bullying, Giving, Law of Attraction, Love, parenting, Prayer, Uncategorized

The 7 Deadly Sins are of this life.. not the next.

Katrina Russell

We have all heard of Dante’s Infernal and the 7 deadly sins, it’s been used in countless movies and TV shows including “Seven”, “Charmed”, and “Supernatural”, just to name a few, but I always used to wonder why they were so horrible in the eyes of the after world (whichever after world you choose is fine). The more that I thought about it the more that I realized they had nothing to do with what happens next. They are all about this world… hence, deadly. These are the things that kill us and our spirit, our drive in this world.

download (27)We are all aware of addiction as a horrible disease. People who suffer from it destroy not only their own lives but cause serious damage to those around them. When a person is so consumed with something outside of them-self they can’t manage to do or think about anything else.. they put other things on the back burner.. they lose them-self to that addiction that is a deadly sin.

Now think about what those 7 deadly sins are:

Gluttony: which could be seen as food, or drink, or drug. The way it was used in Charmed was even shopping.. it’s obsessing over something. Some people use the expression “A glutton for punishment” because they always seem to go back to those that hurt them.

Sloth: The act of giving up on life.. seriously. You have no motivation to do anything. We all have those days, mine are usually on Sunday, when we just want to stay in our pjs and pretend the world away, and occasionally that is fine. But if you become the person who doesn’t want to get the new job, doesn’t want to go out with their friends, doesn’t want the new relationship.. out of fear, or anger, or just laziness, then you can watch years go by without actually doing anything. That’s just a slow death.

Lust: This one is a bit tricky. There of course is the sex addict, but I feel with a glutton definition that kind of falls under that category, but what about those people that will do anything to be in a relationship. It doesn’t matter what. They will change themselves, give up their own rights, their own principles. There are people who just don’t feel complete without the status of relationship on their facebook profile.

Then there’s the flip side. Those who are in perfectly great relationships, but need can’t be satisfied. They need to chase the high of “catching” a new romantic prospect. I have met a few people like this. They are the ones that have the affairs, not because they have fallen out of love with their spouse, but because they have an innate need to be wanted. This is very similar to the person who always needs the relationship. These people always need to prove that they are good enough to get the next one, and more often than not they lose the good thing that they already have.

Envy: This one is just a relationship killer. Any relationship, not just the romantic one. This is the one that makes you fight with your spouse over a smile at the wrong person, we get that, but it’s also the one that makes you shy away from interacting with those that you deem better for some reason. Whether you feel the other is better looking, smarter, or more successful, you either put them in a category of stuck up and therefore not someone that you would want to associate with, or you put them into a category of someone out of your league in which case you couldn’t possibly be someone they would want to know.

On top of personal relationships it’s what stops you from going for the job, the promotion, the bigger and the better, because you feel that there is no way that “I could possibly be the best candidate when there are so many more out there that are… smarter, more educated, have more experience” or whichever “truth” you decide fits your explanation. The only thing this does for us is keep us scared and incapable of moving forward.

Greed: Now this seems like it should go the opposite of envy and sloth and should be a great motivator to help someone be successful, but I guess that depends on your definition of success. Greed is not to be confused with ambition. It is great to have goals and be ready and willing to work and fight for those goals. It is a deadly sin when you start crossing lines and stealing, manipulating, and using others just to get what you want. When you start to realize that you have elevated the money or the prestige to be more important than the people around you you start to realize how much you have really lost.

Pride: This is another one that seems like it should be good, until you see it blown out of proportion. How many times have you heard of a family falling apart over pride. It could be a marriage or parents and children who don’t speak for years or even decades over something.. that half the time they can’t remember, or can’t admit wasn’t a big deal. Pride is a dangerous animal. It keeps you from giving up your principles and makes us all stronger for it, but it can be a huge stumbling block once it’s been damaged. There are many out there that hold so tightly to their pride they can’t even give the next person a chance for fear they may be made a fool again.

Wrath: This one is huge. This one is one that we see crippling nations and destroying civilizations. This is the one that needs an enemy. This is the one that needs to place blame on anyone else. This is the one that creates wars. Usually this one is a combination of the rest. This is the one that comes about when someone who is being greedy, and prideful feels envious and they obsess over who they can blame for their apathy. This is when we look for problems to to criticize others over instead of solutions to bring about peace and resolution. We are too angry to see anyone else’s perspective. We are too angry to see our part. The only thing we can do is accuse, and hurt back… and that’s never solved anything.

So as important as the afterlife is to most of us, the only life we actually have control over right now is the one that we are currently living. How do you want to spend your days? Do you want to do, see, and accomplish as much as you can? Do you want to love, learn, and experience all of the wonders that this life has? Or do you want to blame, ridicule, and waste the little time that you do have to be the person you always dreamed you could be?

 

bullying, parenting, Satire, Uncategorized

How to screw up your kids according to the internet

Katrina Russell

There is nothing more important in this world than the well being of our kids. So, as animages (5) empowering woman I took it upon myself to search the internet for the most common ways to screw up our kids in an effort to help us all avoid them. My research was very fruitful.

  1. Helicopter Parenting: This is a very common parenting style in which parents do everything for their child in an effort to make sure that their child never feels even the slightest bit uncomfortable. They cut and peel grapes for the high school aged, home schooled children who are still being read children’s books in an effort to keep them from learning anything that my be disturbing. Apparently “experts” have found that sheltering your child to the point of stunting mental and emotional development leaves children unable to make decisions and fend for themselves.
  2. Free-range parenting: This is another common approach to parenting in which the parents choose to do the exact opposite and let their children run free and happy and completely in charge of their own lives. They let their children go to the park on their own, make friends on their own, handle their own disputes… heck.. half the time they don’t even know where their own children are. They feel this is a great way to teach their children independence… but apparently “experts” have found that free range children are kidnapped 100% of the time.. or they run with scissors and stab themselves and their friends until there’s nothing left but a pin cushion… or something like that.
  3. Breast is Best: Breastfeeding has been in the news a lot lately. After much research and development scientists have found that the way mother’s fed their babies for millions of years actually may in fact be the best way to feed a baby. They have said that it not only gives them all the nutrients that their little bodies need but also helps in creating a bond between mother and child. In fact there is a chemical secreted during feeding (oxytocin) that gives both mothers and babies a feeling of well-being and love. But apparently “experts” have found that mothers who breastfeed are just attention seeking “drug addicts” using their infants to get that “oxy-high”…. and they’re gross because they want babies to be sucking on their boobies… even in PUBLIC! perverts
  4. Bottle feeding: Bottle feeding is the best way to feed your baby. You can gauge how much they’re eating. The formulas now a days come with many different ingredients so you can not only make sure that your child gets all the nutrition needed but also can pick one that won’t have any allergens.. like.. milk.. or soy.. or some other food that used to not have anyone allergic to it. But the “experts” say that feeding a baby from a bottle is akin to child abuse because the baby could never feel loved without the bonding that occurs during breastfeeding.
  5. Co-sleeping: Now I did not know this, but I guess co-sleeping has been around for millions of years. In fact at one point babies didn’t even have their own cribs at all.. actually, no one really had beds.. but the point is, I always thought co-sleeping was just some hippy thing people made up. Co-sleeping is the act of sleeping with your baby. That’s pretty much it. The “experts” however, have declared that this is the fastest way to kill your child and cause SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and while there is still no cause for SIDS the “experts” still say it’s sleeping next to your baby.
  6. Sleep training: This is the action of teaching your child that it’s time for bed. The point of this is to make sure that your child sleeps at a good time so that the child is able to let it’s brain develop properly. It is usually used by people who do not co-sleep, as they teach their baby to sleep by themselves, and to sooth themselves. It is designed also to teach independence. However, “experts” say that letting your child cry at all in any way is cruel and unusual punishment and that anyone who sleep trains should be waterboarded and have bamboo stuck under their fingernails to see how they like being tortured.
  7. Spankings: Spanking is the act of slapping a child with appropriate force on the bum in order to curb behavior. “Everyone” was spanked in every other generation ever and that is the only way children could ever learn how to behave. The reason why kids today are such ruddy little prats is because no one spanks anymore.. except all the people who still believe spanking is the only way. The “experts” believe that any small amount of pain to one’s backside, even in an effort to save the child’s life (ie the child keeps unbuckling his car seat and thinks it a game to have mama freak out and stop the car to buckle him back up) is detrimental to the child’s state of mind and can only create serial killers in the future.
  8. Timeouts: Timeouts is the practice of removing a child from a situation after the child has acted out and putting them in a chair or safe space for the appropriate amount of time (1 min per year of age) in an effort for the child to “think about their behavior”. Back in the old days this was called being sent to the corner.. not sure how it changed. The “experts” feel that this is akin to putting an inmate in solitary confinement and that anyone who thinks that punishment of any kind is appropriate for a child just shouldn’t have kids.. in fact they should be sterilized immediately!

So.. I hope this helps clear up any confusion that you may have as a parent. I know I love all the “expert” opinions that I have received over the years. If you can think of anything that I haven’t put on the list, by all means be sure to share in the comments.

bullying, Law of Attraction, Love, Uncategorized

What is your truth?

Katrina Russell

Truth is a complicated concept to grasp. That has never been more obvious than in today’s world of “fake news” in which case every side is claiming they are in the right, but to know what is truth? This is even more important in our personal lives. We all have these truths about ourselves, our family, our friends, our spouses.. but where do these “truths” come from.

download (24)My son was watching a cartoon… (yes.. he does that a lot.. no judgement.. it’s been snowing….. A LOT I’d never get anything done!) and the kids in the show were caught lying and were sat down and told to never lie. That lying hurts every situation and that it’s just bad to lie in general. Of course this backfired, and the kids just walked around saying what ever they were thinking, up to and including telling people they stink, they’re ugly, their cooking tastes bad.. what have you. So now the teachers had to try a new tactic and tried explaining that sometimes it’s ok to lie and sometimes it’s not and there are reasons for lying and for not.. and so on.

This seemed a bit crazy for my 5 year old to grasp so I put down my sponge, and sat with him for a minute to ask him about lying and give my perspective. I explained that lying was when you didn’t tell the truth in order to keep yourself from getting in trouble, but that telling someone things that may hurt their feelings just for the sake of it isn’t being truthful it’s just being mean.

I asked him some scenarios. I asked him about spilling his drink, and hiding his dinner.. then I asked about calling someone ugly. He said that wasn’t a truth. I asked him why he said that.. his response was one that took me decades to figure out.

“A truth is telling something that was done or someone said. Just because you think someone’s ugly doesn’t make it true.”

And that was it.. perspective.. just because you think something doesn’t make it true. Just because you may have been told that you’re stupid, or ugly, or fat, or a failure doesn’t make it true. Just because you think that someone is the only one for you.. or some job is the only thing that can make you happen.. doesn’t make it true. Truth is action. Truth can’t be challenged.

You think you’re a failure. Have you never won anything? Even a game of UNO? You think you’re unlovable. Have you never been loved, by you mom, your ex… that guy in 7th grade math class? People spend a lit of time deciding what their truth is.. instead of using actions to create a real truth.

 

Uncategorized

International Women’s Day!

Katrina Russell

We did it! It is officially women’s day in the year of women. It only took thousands of years of giving birth to every person to ever be born to get recognition. I mean don’t get me wrong it doesn’t change anything. We still don’t have equal pay, or reproductive rights.. and we still “deserve” to be raped if we wear the wrong outfit.. and we still get hassled for any choice we make in our lives, whether we choose to work or not.. have kids or not.. and so on.

The craziest part of the whole thing is that we are not actually a minority. We make up up more than 50% of the population. There is no reason for this. We are the ones who raise the future generation. We are the ones that teach boys and men how to treat others. How is this the norm? Well, sadly we tend to think of ourselves as competition instead of being each other’s biggest champions.

I read through all the posts and memes today, and all the women screaming for download (22)themselves. I saw how McDonald’s switched their sign around to commemorate Women. I saw how everyone was talking about the things that men need to do to help women, and all of that is great. I agree, men need to take their sticks out of their asses and acknowledge that women are just as strong, smart, and competent as men, but what’s more important is that women have to encourage each other.

It’s great that we’re marching, but what we really need to do is start shopping at women owned businesses. We need to start hiring each other.. and promoting each other.. and voting for each other. I’m not saying vote for someone just because they are a woman. Sarah Palin is a woman and no one should vote for her, but if you know that there is a candidate on the ticket.. look into her. Even if it’s a name you never heard of, look into her.

When you see a mom having trouble, give her a hand. When you have a coworker in your office don’t make her your enemy.. be happy for her if she gets a promotion. Befriend her, learn from her, teach her.. grow together. If we expect men to come around and treat us with respect we need to show them how it’s done. We are the mothers of the world. If we can teach other’s how to respect who will?

 

bullying, Uncategorized

Together we stand!

Katrina Russell

Just a little story I thought I would share to add some perspective. I had a routine doctor’s appointment last week. Nothing special, just a check up. As I was sitting in the waiting area a man started to talk to me. I didn’t think anything of it. I understand how boring a waiting room could be. It started with the normal small talk about waiting rooms and over scheduled appointments and I was polite and direct in my answers. I thought that I was pretty clear that I was just being cordial and not looking for the conversation to go any further… but…

download (17)As we sat there, stuck in a room, waiting for the nurse to call us in he escalated the conversation. He started telling me how cute I was. How he’s just looking for a nice girl. He started asking personal things about my life, which I dodged as clearly as I could. I lied when he pressed me on where I live. I lied and told him that I was married. I started messaging people on my phone to show him that I was otherwise engaged in other conversation. I was already sitting as far away from him as I could, but still leaned further in the other direction.

He pressed on, “Would your husband be mad if he knew you were talking to me? Is he going to get jealous?”. Really? I’m just here to get my blood pressure and ears checked.. and whatever else comes along with this check up. I really don’t need this while I’m trapped in a room alone with a stranger.

I know a lot of men would probably respond to my post as, “what? he’s just being friendly, if you didn’t like it you didn’t have to respond”, but as most women know not responding can sometimes escalate things even further.. then these “friendly men” can start calling you names and can become aggressively attentive in an attempt to make you the problem.

I was messaging with my brother at the time and thankfully he is not one of those neanderthal men who assume that women should be grateful for attention of any kind. He understood that I was uncomfortable. He asked me if I had a clear way to leave the building and I told him that I help my keys out as I walked and cleared the elevator before I got in. I made sure that the man was not in the hallway when I stepped into the elevator, as it would be too easy for him to jump in after me.

Now I know what you’re thinking. This all seems crazy. I am clearly a super paranoid women who hates men. But this is the thing that men don’t understand. This is our thought process. I have no problem with men. I have many male friends. I was raised by a single dad and have a brother whom I love. I have a nephew and a son.. and as a child mostly played with my 2 boy cousins until the one girl cousin I had came around when I was 7. I am very comfortable around men. I have worked in male dominated fields. I have often been “one of the guys” due to office dynamics as well as hobbies that I have (I’m a bit of a geek). Men, as a species, don’t intimidate me. However, as a woman I understand that not all men are like my brother or my best friend. Not all men have the same understanding of women’s personal space and boundaries.

Men joke about situations like being ok with gay guys as long as they don’t hit on them, or “don’t say things to women that you wouldn’t want your cellmate to say to you” and there’s a reason for that. Men understand that sometime other men don’t take no for an answer. They know what they and their friends are like with women and they wouldn’t want to be put in a situation like that. They wouldn’t want to be stuck in a room with an overly attentive man with no idea where the situation could take them or the feeling of having to possibly defend themselves physically. No one likes that feeling, but that feeling is exactly the part of the “me too” message that is getting lost.

When women talk about how we feel harassed in our everyday lives. How we have been forced to deal with things that make us feel unsafe or pressured it doesn’t just mean the times that we are raped, or felt up. Harassment isn’t just about the p***y grabbing and penetration. Harassment is being made to feel unsafe for no other reason than because you are who you are. Whether it be you’re a woman, a person of color, or part of the lbgtq movement if you are not a member of the “group in power” you are vulnerable, and the only way we can gain our power is to stick together and support each other.

 

Politics, school shootings, Uncategorized

Who will inherit the Earth?

Katrina Russell

To quote the late great Whitney Houston, I believe the children are our future. Now obviously we all know at this point that Ms Houston was flawed, but that doesn’t negate the message that she sang so remarkably. The children literally are our future. They are download (15)the future presidents, future business people, future doctors, and teachers, and parents of the next generation… most importantly right now.. they are the next voters.

Children have forever been overlooked. They should be seen and not heard. Well, today children are being heard. They have a platform never imagined by previous generations.. they have social media… and I don’t just mean facebook, which apparently is for old people now, who knew? They have platforms that most of us have never even heard of. Instasnaptube… or what ever they are called can connect young people from around the globe without even knowing how to pay the phone bill, and here’s the thing, these kids are smart, and way more competent than we adults give them credit for.

Today in Somerville Massachusetts kids walked out of their school. Now, for those that don’t know Somerville this is not an area normally thought of as involved.. or political.. or really full of any kind of clout. These kids are not the connected kids who are used to having power. These kids are taking their own power back, and they are not alone.

Adults spend a lot of time arguing about their rights. The right to have giant killing machines, the right to be able to say what they feel, the right to own or have or do… these kids don’t care about your rights to things.. these kids care about their right to live. These kids are literally saying enough is enough. It has been almost 20 years since Columbine and nothing of real consequence has been done. There has been no laws passed to keep children safe. It has been over 5 years since Sandy Hook… a mass attack that killed dozens of babies and nothing was done. NOTHING!. How is that possible?

Now, I understand that people feel very strongly about their rights. I know people that own guns and that’s fine… but why do people argue with things like background checks? Why do people feel that mentally unstable people have the right to kill others? Why are people opposed to registering these instruments designed for no other purpose than to kill? It makes absolutely no sense.  A lot of the pro-gun argument is that if they give a little they will lose everything, but in fact their insistence to not understand and agree with common sense gun laws is going to lead to the next generation.. the generation of gun violence victims to actually ban all guns. That’s how it works.

These “kids” who “don’t know what they’re talking about” are going to be voting in the next few years. These “kids” are going to be running for office.. and if you think Obama was good at the grassroots effort you’ve seen nothing like a kid with am instagram account collect followers.

Millennials are thought of as lazy and entitled, and maybe part of that is true, and I’m not sure what the kids of today are called.. because technically they aren’t even millennials, but these “kids” will find the fastest, easiest way to spread their message, and they feel entitled to their feelings, their message, and their lives. I’m sure at one point the “adults” thought those kids fighting for slaves rights, or women’s rights, or gay rights were just “stupid kids” who won’t accomplish anything… but I believe the children are our future, and if you don’t watch out they’ll leave you in the dust.. and they’ll feel entitled to your jobs.. and vote themselves in.

bullying, Politics, school shootings, Uncategorized

Bulling the victims of school shootings… really? Who’s the adult?

Katrina Russell

I am both amazed and appalled at what I am seeing in the world today. Somehow people seem to make tragedies worse. For years we have been watching in horror as children and sometimes babies getting slaughtered in a place that is supposed to be a haven. A place that, we as Americans, need for the future of our society to continue, and we’ve done NOTHING. That to me is horrifying enough, but now, as time goes on we are even outdoing ourselves.

downloadI remember Columbine. I remember sitting in my car sitting in my car listening to the radio report of the events. I remember reading in the newspaper in the aftermath. I remember thinking how impossible it all seemed. It had only been 6 years since I had graduated from high school myself and it was unimaginable that anything like that could have happened.

I remember moving from the small town of North Andover, MA to the small city of Newton, MA and being shocked that they had SECURITY GUARDS. They weren’t even carrying. They were just there in case of a fight breaking out, basically, and once when I first started there was an “incident”. I’m still not really sure what happened. This were said, tensions were high.. and no one was killed or even seriously hurt.

My God daughter was born about a month before Columbine and I could never have imagined that by the time she reached high school that I would be regularly seeing her and her peers outside with their backpacks strewn about in a bomb scare. HOW IS THIS AMERICA IN THE 21st CENTURY?!?!?!

I remember my father telling me stories about when he was a child his class used to have drills in case of an attack from Russia. They would sit under their desks, as if that would possibly do anything against a nuclear weapon. I remember thinking that was insane, barbaric even. I remember hearing about the hippies who were laughed at by the adults for wanting something better. I remember hearing about the soldiers who came home from Vietnam to be spit at and called “baby killer” by those same peace loving hippies… I remember thinking how much things had changed and how proud I was that they had.

Now it’s been it’s been almost 20 years since the devastating and societal changing Columbine shooting… and it’s still happening. In fact, it’s happening more and more. And are people coming together to help one another? Are the American people supporting each other in making sure that our children are safe? No… I saw grown individuals cyber bulling child victims. Children who watched they friends be slaughtered. Children who had their friends lying on top of them while they bled out. Children who have been through more in those few minutes than most adults could ever imagine. Children who are strong enough to stand up and fight back and say that it’s time for a change. No, I see grown adults, both men and women telling these victims to “grow up and get over it” to “shut up and go back to school” that “children don’t have the brains to know what they’re talking about”.

These children have the right to defend themselves. These children have to right to share their experiences. These children have the right to feel safe in their home away from home. In the place where they are supposed to be concentrating on learning so they can become the leaders of tomorrow. They should never feel as though they  need to be looking over their shoulders at their classmates in fear of their lives. And shame on you for not understanding that. Shame on you for blaming the victim for just wanting to be safe. For just wanting to live. You don’t have to share their opinions, but you do have to respect their lives.

 

Healthcare, parenting, Politics, school shootings, Uncategorized

If we can’t take your guns can you at least give us health-care.

Katrina Russell

I have spoken before about the misinformation about the right to bear arms and how it’s been skewed to fit certain individuals and/or groups needs, but the misinformation of healthcare absolutely takes the cake. “Why should I have to pay for other people’s healthcare?” is the biggest argument made. Well, guess what? You already are… and more.

The way private healthcare is set up one pays a premium to have health insurance download (13)whether they use it or not. All of the money goes to the health insurance company which puts it into a fund and pays out everyone’s healthcare bills… OK, so at least your money is only paying for those who have also paid into healthcare, so that’s OK. Guess again. Hospitals know that the chances of them being paid by individuals that don’t have insurance is extremely low so they jack up the prices of everything they do so that those who have insurance will pay a high enough bill that it will cover those that aren’t covered. That’s how hospitals stay open. Ever wonder about that $15 Tylenol tablet you took?

So that’s just the costs that actually go to the hospital, doctors, Ambulances, and so forth. Now.. here’s a big secret that I know most people haven’t discovered. Insurance companies are NOT non-profit. In fact they make huge profits. The CEO’s make millions for their salaries, never mind the bonuses they get for “saving” the company money… in other words comes up with reasons they shouldn’t give their customers the coverage that they pay for.

Then there are all of the other people who work for these giant companies. The executives, the marketing, advertising, financial services, sales… customer service…. even down to the buildings they are housed in and those paid to clean them are all paid.. with your policies. Now obviously with universal healthcare there would still be people in charge of making sure that bills are paid, and taking care of customers, but there wouldn’t be billions going to executives and sales.

Then there is the fact that, yes, there are some poor people who, because they don’t make enough money, would get free healthcare. That’s kind of a given, but as we established earlier, they’re not paying those bills anyway, and the price gauging is covering that. Then there are all those who are just choosing to not pay. All those who make a decent wage, but feel that they’re healthy enough to not have to worry about it. They don’t think about the accidents that can cripple them, or the unexpected flu that can put them in the hospital. They just expected to be taken care of, and maybe they pay, maybe they don’t. Maybe, even after all the doctor’s do they can’t be saved.. or they are left disabled and unable to work anymore. Guess who eats their bills. With Universal Healthcare everyone making enough money will be paying their fair share.

Finally there’s all the things that most Private Insurance carriers aren’t guaranteed to even cover. Dental, nope, mental health, nope, specialists, nope. So you pay 100s and 1000s on health insurance only to have deductibles, co-pays.. and denials.

People and politicians complain about it not being their problem to take care of others… yet it kind of is. The population at large is definitely the politicians problem. It’s their job to keep us alive. It’s their job to keep the economy running. Part of keeping us alive, aside from making bigger and bigger guns, is making sure that we have access to doctors and medicine and.. even better.. preventative care. Part of keeping the economy running is making sure that people are healthy enough to work, and not losing their jobs over long term illnesses or injuries or losing their houses to overwhelming dept due to both.

Their most important job is making sure that the future generations are alive, or the US stops here. Two of the biggest concerns to youth today are being killed in school and the opioid epidemic (but that’s for another day) both of which could truly be helped by a good mental health system. The first thing politicians that oppose gun control say is that it’s not guns that kill people, it’s the people that kill people. And since they’ve made it very clear that they’re not willing to keep guns away from those people, why not create a health reform that gets ALL individuals the mental health support that they need. I know many people who are unable to see therapists or psychiatrists because, even with the private insurance that they have it’s either not covered or the deductible is so high they can’t afford to start treatment.. especially paying it every year.

I agree, the people who commit these horrendous crimes are mentally unstable. I c72bcc58-0abb-49e8-a915-354153bc942fpersonally thinks that means they shouldn’t be allowed access to guns, but aside from that, why can no one in power now see that means that they do require help BEFORE they shoot up 17 people in a school?

The last shooter was a classic case. He bounced from home to home. Lost 2 sets of parents. He had a really crappy life and many people could see that he was a threat to himself and others, yet nothing stopped him. No one helped him. People who shoot babies, and church goers, and movie theater attendees aren’t right in the head. That’s an absolute fact that everyone seems to agree on. These shootings occur way too often, another fact that no one questions. So why is there a debate about making sure every American has the right to stay alive? Why can’t these people get the help they need so they don’t kill 100s of people a year? This is the whole country’s problem, and only one of when it comes to the health of this nation.