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The energy behind change is in your head

Sometimes no matter how hard you work there are always road blocks. Sometimes no matter how great your intentions there is always a stall. These are the biggest stumbling blocks to any success. Everyone loves when they’re on a roll, but once there’s a snag, once things veer off course, it’s very difficult to get back on track.

Have you ever noticed when you’re dieting… you’re doing great, the fat is coming off, the download (38)muscle is toning.. then all of a sudden there is party after party, function after function… holiday after holiday that completely derails your progress? Have you ever been rearing to start a new venture.. you just need a little more money/time/whatever… You are all ramped up and then BAM! You get sick, You lose your job… you get more work that takes you away from your personal practice? Or the opposite occurs, you are SO SICK AND TIRED of your job. Your boss is an ass… the money sucks… your co-workers are jerks… you are ready to strike out in a new direction… and suddenly the boss gives you a slight raise… and your co-workers pat you on the back and you fall back into complacency.

There is a reason for this. Your energy. I know.. that sounds very woowoo crazy, but it’s true. Your energy, your brain, your sense of self is very happy being content. Content is safe, change is dangerous. Better the devil you know, and all. When you start to lose weight your mind freaks out. It is suddenly not understanding your identity. When you start thinking and taking actions to make a major change to your career, for instance, your energy, your brain decides that this is NOT YOU. You are a worker, not a boss… you can handle what you’ve been doing… anything more is scary.

None of this is true of course. This is just what your brain has been told… over and over again. This is just what your brain believes. We all know how difficult it is to change someone else’s mind. Why would we think that our own would be any different?

This is where affirmations and reprogramming come in to play. Now this is not positive talk.. that is a different animal. That’s almost lying to yourself. You can not tell yourself that you are happy in a situation that you are in that you are not. You can not tell yourself that a relationship is wonderful when the dirt bag is cheating on you, stealing from you, and beating you… You can however tell yourself that you deserve a better relationship. That you deserve to be treated well and that you deserve love.

The problem with any change is that it takes action… major action. Even small changes take major action, and our self identity doesn’t want to make those changes.. our identity is what it is… if you don’t believe me… listen to yourself. Actually listen to the things that you say to yourself when you’re trying to go through a change… and ask yourself if you would use the same words with someone else if you were trying to encourage them to be better.

parenting, Uncategorized

Eat yourself happy

We all talk about our diets in terms of our bodies. Either we want to look better or be healthier or some other physical idea of feeling better. We know that when we look better we feel better. We know that when we get healthy we feel better, but we never talk about how our diets actually affect our mental health. 

Most people don’t realize that a good amount of American’s are malnourished. Now, I’m not just talking aboutimages (20) those starving and living on the streets. I’m talking about those that live off of fast food and snacks. Have you ever looked at the side panel of the food that

 

we eat? I don’t just mean the calories, or fat intake. I’m not even talking about the protein or sugar, though they both play a huge role, I’m talking about actual vitamins and minerals. A lot of our packaged foods don’t even have a label for anything more than iron, sodium or maybe potassium.

In the book “Good Omens” by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett they have a modernized download-6version of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. In this “Famine” is not a beast causing droughts or potato plagues he is the owner or a fast food chain. He talks about how he’s killing people slowly with their permission. Not only are they getting fat and causing their own diabetes and heart disease but they don’t even realize that they are malnourished. Because they are full.

There has been a link made to too much sugar and worsening symptoms of depression and schizophrenia. Not enough zinc and Omega fatty acid can affect brain development in general. This is why breastfeeding is the preferred way to feed babies, and the recommendations are changing and saying it’s best to give children breast milk till download (27)they’re 3. My son stopped on his own a little over one, so I changed to a toddle formula that included DHA and other nutrients that milk doesn’t have and that I know my son would fight me in eating.

There is an add that pops up on my facebook feed all the time about Micro-nutrients and how important they are for children with ADD/ADHD and other behavior problems. This isn’t a lie. The whole point of the add is to sell some special high micro-nutrient shake for way too much money to worried moms, but in reality micro-nutrients are just vitamins and minerals found in REAL food. Unprocessed fruits, veggies, and meats.

So by all means if you have a kid like mine who goes days living off of crackers and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, then absolutely invest in a shake, or a vitamin, or images (1)cover your fruit with chocolate, what ever gets your kids to eat them. But as a grown up, you have the choice to make about what you want to eat. So instead of always reaching for the pills or the chocolate or whatever helps your mood swings and depression, try talking to your doctor about which vitamins are best to help. And a little cardio can’t hurt.

 

Love, parenting, Uncategorized

The day my dad died I knew I had to change my life or I’d be joining him.

Today would have been my dad’s 68th birthday. It’s still hard to believe that he is gone. He was the strongest, hardest working, most amazing father I could have ever asked for. He was a single dad in a time when that was barely heard of.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s with only a father at home always came with questions walk with papaand weird looks, but I never questioned how much I was loved. He went through Hell and back to get and keep us. He was a very strong role model and always made it very clear that my brother and I could do anything we set our minds to. He was also the one that always had our backs. You don’t know how many middle of the night phone calls he received from one of us about a car issue, and he would show up blurry eyed with jumper cables or a jack. I finally repaid him in kind by getting us both AAA.

I remember my first semi-formal and him him teaching me the basic waltz box step. He took me to dance and gymnastics classes, he was there at my school plays even when he would have to split his time between my play and my brother’s band concert. He taught 392491_10150846116491602_1468107945_nme to throw a spiral and the correct way to throw a punch. He taught me to pump gas and was extremely annoyed when I boycotted learning how to change a tire. Not only because he knew that there would be more late night phone calls, but because he wanted me to be a strong independent person.

When my son was born we were living with him. He had developed very severe diabetes and it had led to even more complications, like stroke, heart disease, and kidney disease. There was many a time that I had to call 911 because he had fallen asleep without eating, or his potassium levels were off, but he was always there for my son and me.

One time, when my son was very small, about 3 months old I was exhausted, up in my room and Jason was just screaming. For those of you that are parents, you know this scream. The one with no answers, they just seem to like the sound of their own 17923_10151515250461602_1693194054_nfrustration. I was trying to feed him, walk with him, rocking him… there was nothing that I could do. The next thing I know, there is my dad walking in and taking my son from me. He just looked at me and said, “You need a nap. This isn’t doing anyone any good.” I was so relieved I’m pretty sure I started crying. My dad bounced with my son for a few seconds and made a shush sound in his ear and the boy was silent. He took him downstairs and I was able to get a couple of minutes of uninterrupted sleep.

As my son got older he loved playing with his Papa. They would do puzzles and go for walks in the woods. My dad introduced him to Doctor Who… though I love the show, I10431699_10153188932531602_1785562601473633197_n was not thrilled that my 20 month old was asking for screen time for the first time. But looking back I am glad that they had that. Five months later my father would be gone.

The morning that I found him was the worth day of my life. I still have nightmares and a giant empty gap where his talks and laughter used to fill. My father was the one person in my life that I could always count on. He was the one person in my life that I knew my son could count on other than me. Then one night he had an early dinner and forgot to have a snack before bed. His blood sugar dropped in the middle of the night and he never woke up.

As far as ways to go, I guess it wasn’t so bad for him, but for me…. it was horrific. I wasn’t even 40 years old, he was just 65, and my son had only been 2 for one month. All I kept thinking is how my son wouldn’t remember him. My father wouldn’t know the person that baby would grow into. The 2 most important males in my life would never really know each other.

My father was an amazing role model. He taught me so much. Except the correct eating habits. Had he been more careful things would have been very different. Both my 15672770_10154884223646602_4941319554659479612_n (2)brother and I were raised predominantly on fast food. My dad was young, single and a business owner. He was tired of fighting with kids about eating, so he went the easy route. Both my brother and I ended up with horrible habits, and both with weight issues up and down.

Since having my son, and since my father’s death my goal has been to become the most healthy version of myself and to raise the most healthy version of my son. I don’t want to leave him unexpectedly in the middle of the night, and I don’t want him to contend with the struggles of learning new habits later.

I have taken to Integrative Wellness and Life Coaching, because through my life and my struggles I have found that eating habits and wellness has less to do with knowing the right foods to eat or the right exercises to firm up your butt. There are 1000 books, websites, videos… top 10 lists that can educate you on that.. and let’s face it, everyone knows you should eat kale over pizza.

True Wellness in life is about having the right mind set. Wanting to be the best more healthy version of oneself for the richest most fulfilled life. Getting to know your grand kids will feel much better than eating that cake, but unless we change our priorities and our lifestyle, we’ll just be on a yo-yo of life.. with no idea when it could drop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

Are you choosing weight-loss over health?

There is a new diet out every other day to help you lose unwanted fat and become beautiful and desirable.. and so on. If you cut this and eat only that you will drop weight by the ton, but is it actually healthy?

I follow a wonderful fitness “expert” who was giving advice about getting rid of cellulite. I’ve heard this before, but she swears by it. Cut the sugar.. eat more fat. Sugar is a crazy download (22)killer and it has been proven over and over. Sugar causes heart disease and diabetes and all the things that you’ve heard, but too much fat can be dangerous too.

She posted that instead of eating oatmeal and fruit that it’s better to eat eggs and avocados for breakfast. Oatmeal… even plain with fruit is nothing but sugar. I remember reading that years ago and I started it straight away.  I lost a bit of weight pretty quickly, and then my cholesterol skyrocketed. I commented to her about this and she told me to check out some random book about how to eat fats more healthily.. and I get that. There are different fats that do different things. But there is also one other major difference. She is in her 20s.. I am in my 40s. I have a thyroid condition. I have been over weight for like a decade, she put on some weight after having a baby and took it straight off.

We are all different. We are not one size fits all. All of our bodies breakdown food differently.  download (21)It’s time we make real educated decisions about our health instead of superficial decisions about what will make our butt look best on the beach? Every new exercise program says right in the beginning, “Check with your doctor before starting”. There are nutritionists for a reason.  Years ago I was a vegetarian for 3 years.. I got more and more sick. I went to a nutritionist who told me that I just needed to eat chicken. Not the best advice for a vegetarian, but the idea was there… I needed more protein.

A healthy weight is very important for our bodies, but how we maintain the weight is more important for how we actually live. A nice butt is just a perk.

 

 

parenting, Uncategorized

What’s really killing Americans

I had a very interesting conversation today with my plumber. He was in my basement working on my boiler’s pressure valve and he kept getting a little dizzy and lightheaded. Obviously I wanted to make sure the man wasn’t going to pass out and/or die, so I inquired on why he thought it was happening.

Turns out he had, in the last year, lost 100 lbs. Wow, that’s impressive, why would that cause him to have these issues. Well, he was on blood pressure medication and now that he’s lost so much weight, they keep lower the dose. He has an appointment to see if he can get of it completely because, well, he doesn’t want to pass out every time he has to bend over too much… kind of inconvenient for a plumber.

cholesterolawareness_355pxWe started talking about other ailments that he had since he has corrected his eating habits. He’s off of his IBS medication and his gout is gone…. he is like a new person. This was not accomplished by surgery, the medication only treated the symptoms… the change in diet and loss of the extra 100 lbs he was carrying attributed to changes he otherwise couldn’t have imagined.

According to the CDC 75 million or 29% of Americans have high blood pressure 75 million or 29% of Americans have high blood pressure, 137 million have high cholesterol, 29 million people have type 2 diabetes.. and these are just the major diseases.. this isn’t getting into IBS or gout, yet, most of these people choose to treat rather than cure, what is potentially life threatening diseases. In fact, 610,000 deaths a year are contributed to heart attacks… that’s 1 in 4 deaths that actually take place in the US.

I know right now that guns and terrorism and texting while driving are major hot topics, and all of those things are horrible…. but they aren’t 1/4 of the deaths happening in our country.We want to pass laws to ban guns, or ban religions. We already ban texting and download-10driving. Why is it that when anyone wants to pass legislation or even private rules about banning junk food in schools, or putting a cap on giant soda beverages that’s the one thing everyone can agree is outrageous.

Last time I checked there was a law in this country against trying to kill yourself, but apparently death by twinkie is completely acceptable.

 

parenting, Uncategorized

Your scale is lying to you

Scales for years have been the bane of many women’s existence. They diet all day and images-11don’t see a change in the numbers. Then at the end of the week or month after working hard at the gym and eating like a bird there’s a drop by one.. maybe two. After a while it’s enough to make someone throw in the towel and just eat the cake. Or the opposite happens. They see a dramatic change in one week and think, “I’ve got this” and then treat themselves to that cake only to see that one “treat” cancelled the whole week’s worth of work. It can be very frustrating.

That’s because physical weight is complicated. There are many factors that go into the lbs per inch being that is you. Most of us know of the dreaded water weight. The bloating that we get during our period, or that quick 3 lbs we lose when we cut out soda, but that’s just the beginning.

I have been feeling very annoyed in my weight-loss adventure because I have been working my ARSE off. I have been working the Beachbody programs, going to the boxing giphygym and Zumba. I have even been taking nutrition classes to make sure what I’m putting into my body is not sabotaging my work. Yet the scale creeps along at snail speed.

I have to admit I’m one of those people who do… what I’m not supposed to.. and weigh myself everyday. Part of it is because as I’m learning I want to track how things are going and what is affecting what.. and the other is because I’m crazy and anal and want to see the scale numbers plummet before my eyes. But they don’t. In fact sometimes after what I think is a great day the numbers actually rise (%^&^%^). But I know that I am losing weight. My clothes don’t fit anymore, my friends and family all comment, but I reply.. no.. I’m not losing weight…. I’m losing fat, and there’s the difference.

Now I know that I named this “your scale is lying to you”, but what I should have said is, “you need a scale that knows how to talk to you”. When I first started my adventure a year ago I bought myself a Weigh Watchers body fat calculator scale50188301. It measures not just weight, but BMI, bone mass, water weight and fat weight. That changes everything. I stepped on the scale yesterday and used this feature for the first time in months and that number BLEW ME AWAY.

When I fist started I had a body fat percentage of 51… a year later… it’s 34. That’s huge. Some people may be surprised that the weight numbers don’t match the % numbers.. but that’s just it. Muscle weighs more than fat. So… for every, let’s say, cup of fat I lost I gained a half a cup of muscle. So my body is getting slimmer and healthier but my weight barely shifts.

In our society especially numbers are so important. The number on the scale. The number in the bank account. Hell, even your IQ. But that’s just one way to quantify a person. We need to learn to look at the whole picture.

parenting, Uncategorized

Becoming a diet pro!

In this fast paced world very few of us are eating as healthily as we should be. We are far more apt to grab food from a window or microwave some sort of concoction that slightly resembles something that we may want to eat. We all struggle to get in our veggies and protein. To stay away from the dreadful carbs and sugar, and to try to pretend at the end of the day that what we’re eating is “good enough”.

Then the repercussions begin. The bloating, the heart burn, the acne and so forth. We know that we should be better but we don’t know how. We toss and turn at night. We blame stress, our jobs, our relationships, anything other than that Big Mac that we had for download-6dinner. I mean after-all I had a diet soda with it.

The problem is that our bodies are very specifically designed. We need to consume certain vitamins, and minerals. We need carbs for energy and protein for growth and fats to make our brains function. We also need to be able to digest all of these things properly. Enter probiotics. Anyone who has ever had a baby knows that one has to introduce foods periodically to make sure that the child doesn’t have any reactions, but that there are certain foods that should always have to be held off until after the baby is at least one year old (honey and cow’s milk are examples). The reason for this is that their bodies are not equipped with the proper gut flora to digest those foods properly and this can lead to all kinds of illnesses and digestive issues.

As we age our bodies adapt and soon we are chugging milk, devouring cheese, and sipping tea with honey to help our latest sniffle attack. Our bodies are amazing instruments with the ability to thrive on even less than perfect nourishment, but with our diet of chemicals and preservatives sometimes imperfection turns to deficiency and parts of our bodies break down.

We all understand the importance of getting our blood pressure, cholesterol adownload-8nd glucose levels checked, but has anyone ever checked their gut flora levels? Does anyone ever think about it? You think about how you feel bloated and need some Pepto. You think about how you have heart burn and need some tums, or are exhausted and need more coffee, but did you ever stop and think that maybe, just maybe you’re all of those things because you drank that diet soda for dinner.

Artificial sweeteners, as well as many other preservatives used in our food today actually play havoc with our digestion. People wonder why they get on those box diet food and switch to diet soda and still can’t loose weight, well our bodies don’t like chemicals. They like real, natural food. When the chemicals in some of these convenience foods destroy
the healthy bacteria in our gut it makes it more and more difficult for the actual food to be digested and the proper nutrition to be absorbed into our bodies. This can lead to gas, diarrhea, a lowered immune system, weight gain.. and even cancer.

The best way to resolve this is obviously to stick to healthy real food, but I understand that will take a lot, and isn’t always as tasty. So the next best thing is to start making sure that you have probiotics in your diet regularly. The best way to get them is through food itself. Women, you know what I’m talking about. We’ve all had a not so comfortable infection and our friends and mothers suggested, “just eat some yogurt”. There are even more foods on the list though. Foods like sourdough bread, sauerkraut, and even sour pickles. If you’re not a fan our sour anything, try some kefir, miso or tempeh, or you could just take a supplement.

download-7A word of caution on supplements, they are not regulated by the FDA or any other agency in the US, so please do your research. Check on the ingredients and the level of probiotics in each. Otherwise you may just be wasting your money, or even causing more issues. Some “Gluten Free” actually have, well, gluten.

Today’s world is busy, I’m not saying you can’t enjoy your Big Mac and diet coke, just eat a yogurt for breakfast, and try not to do it EVERYDAY!

bullying, parenting, Uncategorized

You don’t have to be perfect to be

I have to admit I had a “check myself” moment the other day. As you know I have been working really hard to get healthy. I have been taking nutrition classes. I’ve been working out. I’ve been following the Beachbody* programs, boxing, Zumba*, meditation… and so download-5on. I have been spending the last year learning about and practicing good health as much as possible, yet I still felt like I didn’t have a right to really consider myself a coach because I am not thin. I felt like no one would take me seriously because of the way I look… then I realized that’s bullshit.

I may not be a size 2, but I have lost over 30lbs, and many inches. I have added muscle, lost fat and brought my cholesterol levels down by 50 points. I am a healthy person… my jean size just hasn’t caught up with me yet.

It’s funny. I am certified as an Integrative Wellness and Life Coach. I am in the process of becoming certified as an Integrative Health Coach. I truly believe that you can do and be anything that you want, and if I had someone like me as a client I would encourage the person believe in herself and to understand that you don’t have to be perfect yourself to be able to help other people. This is fundamental. Yet, here I am… holding back because of my own insecurities.  images-10

So that’s the end of that craziness. I am not going to let my fears dictate my life. I may not be perfect, but I am very passionate about getting my health on track. I am very proud that my son comes down and does the 21 day fix with me. I want to share as much information as possible with the world so that the current health crisis gets under control. People complain about ISIS. They complain about guns. Do you know what really kills people? Heart disease…. strokes… diabetes and other “natural” causes that aren’t as natural as they seem.

What I have realized is that it’s less important what I actually look like and more important what I’m DOING about it… and in the last year… that’s a lot. I don’t ever want my son to experience what I went through. I never want my son to find me dead because of a health complication that could have been avoided, and with my coaching, I hope no one else has to either.

 

 

 

Love, parenting, Uncategorized

Four little words from my almost four year old… that made it all worth it.

Sometimes I don’t want to work out… there, I said it. I know it’s shocking… I mean.. I have to be the only one. Sometimes I would much rather sit on the couch with pizza and forget about all my problems.24e43f106024cc11_belly-fat

But I go and I do it. Whether it be a 21 day fix on my TV at home or a boxing class at the local gym or a Zumba class at the local dance school, I just keep going. There is good and bad to both. At home it’s harder to get motivated. I can always just do it later. In classes you’re surrounded by 20 sombelly-fatethings with already perky butts that make me feel less than.

Not long ago I was at one of those classes. It was the end of the class. We had just been jumping and  and twisting and sweating… a lot. We had just hit the floor mats to get to the core part of the exercise when my 3 year old came running over, looked me straight in my sweaty, nasty face and said, “You look beautiful, mama”… Those were the best core exercises I’ve ever done. He was the perfect reminder of why I do this… I am getting healthy not for me, not to look hot with a perky butt.. but so that I can be there for him. I’m already beautiful in the eyes of anyone who matters. I want to live long enough to be beautiful for my grandchildren too. Something my parents didn’t get to do. lose-belly-fat1

bullying, parenting, Uncategorized

How many sizes plus, exactly?

We need a new word for plus-size. Someone who is healthy and strong is NOT plus-sized. The average size woman in America is 16, that makes it not plus, that makes it average.

Now I’m not promoting obesity. In fact I’m doing the opposite. This country is fat. I’m fat. I’ve been working on my health for months and am doing great, but still have some to go, as I’m not crash dieting I’m taking it off the healthy way.

This country has forgotten about health. It has forgotten about muscle. It has forgotten that people and women are getting taller. It no longer looks at shape, and fat percentage. We have become a nation obsessed with numbers, numbers on a scale, numbers on the inside of your jeans. Curves are fat, yet, boobs are curves and there is nothing wrong with them… yeah, confusion.. try being a little or teen girl today and figuring it out.

There is a plus-sized mode who is fighting back. The video of herself in different poses and 32e6daf200000578-3526244-image-m-11_1459945295531outfits is gorgeous. She is not obese. She is not gross and unhealthy. She should be celebrated as what a woman should be working to look and feel like. Society is so angry. They settle for nothing but perfection
. A model should look like a rack, yet, as mentioned the average woman is a size 16, so who are the size 2 models catering to? Who looks the way they do in the cloths?

How about instead of sitting on our couches with a big of chips and  criticizing someone who is healthy, happy and living her dream we work on getting healthy ourselves. Not crazed diets to make ourselves skinny. Not accepting obesity because plus sized is the new cool.. but living everyday in a healthy way. And not labeling healthy as something less than…