Tag: community

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bullying, Law of Attraction, Love, Mental Health, parenting, Prayer

Forgive and Forget

Katrina Russell

People talk a lot about forgiveness, and there are definitely two camps on this subject. Well, three if you count the people who keep forgiving over and over and not the forgetting part, but for this we won’t. For this we are talking about the people who are done taking flack and listening to lies.

In one camp there are the people who will never forgive. “Those *fill in expletive* don’t deserve my forgiveness”, people. The ones who every time a name is mentioned, even if it’s not the actual person, just the name in common, this one gets a knot in their stomach. This one has been hurt so badly they will never forget, and never give anyone else a chance to hurt them like that either. They will take that pain to the grave, and to whatever afterlife may come.

This is the one that tells you they are fine, while simultaneously screwing up something in their life. A friendship, a romantic relationship, a family situation, a job… something that reminds this one of that person who did that thing to them once and they are not going to let that happen again.

When that person or that subject does come up, this one still sees red. They can’t help it. It’s still so fresh in their mind and heart. They can’t let it go. They are angry and will continue to be angry. There is no way that this one is going to give that person the satisfaction of being let off the hook for the horrible thing that they did. That person is going to die knowing that this one hates them.

Of course, that person may not care, or even remember this one… but that’s not the point… this one will remember… always.

Then there are the ones that know how to forgive and how to forget. The ones who understand that everyone has faults, and everyone is at a different point in the evolutionary scale. This one knows what horrible thing that person did to them. This one knows that person is not capable of the actions or respect that this one deserves. This one feels almost sorry for the person who did them dirty, because this one understands that true happiness can never be found in hurting someone, and the person who hurt them will have to live with everything they do… but this one does not.

This one has learned holding onto a grudge only hurts the one holding on. This one forgives the person who wronged them… and then lets it go. That’s it. It is now a thing of the past. It no longer takes up room in their conscious mind. This one goes about their life not worrying about what the other person did or is doing now. This one goes about their life not assuming that everyone they meet will be like that person and hurt them.

Then there is a moment in this one’s life when they realize they have actually forgotten. Maybe they see that person at an event, or their name is brought up. This one smiles, asks how they are, and have a pleasant encounter. Maybe at some point someone reminds this one of what the other person has done. This one just laughs, and says, “well, it was a long time ago. We’ve all grown since then.”.

Maybe we’ve all grown, maybe that person is just as rotten and hurtful as they always were, but it doesn’t matter. This one has grown. This one has a good life. That person who hurt this one doesn’t have any power over this one. This one has forgiven and forgotten.

white concrete building
bullying, Politics, Prayer

It’s not about oppression, it’s about success

Katrina Russell

There has been a lot in the media in the last few years about the oppressed and the oppressors. How certain groups have more power and success in life because they spend all of their time oppressing other people. How there is a new group coming out of the oppressor group in order to “save” the historically oppressed people.

They are doing this by teaching people whether they are oppressed or oppressors, because nothing cures oppression like telling someone that they are oppressed and shouldn’t bother trying. They are also doing this by getting rid of tests and regulations that judge people based on the merit. The implication being that people of certain groups can’t be expected to live up to the expectations of the oppressor groups and therefore are being further oppressed by a society that values merit.

I’m not sure how teaching kids particularly that they are some how incapable of merit based accomplishments eliminates oppression, but that is the point. The people who talk so much about caring about and helping the oppressed don’t actually care about oppression. They only care about who is getting, making, or having more than they are. The goal is not to end oppression, but to oppress the successful in order to steal more power for themselves.

If you ever want to know how someone feels about oppressed people ask them what they think about the Jews, and specifically Israel. Jewish people are the historically the most oppressed people in the world. They were slaves in the age of the Bible. They have been homeless since they were first enslaved. They have been told they can’t work. They have been murdered. They have had an entire world against them, and yet they are the one group of people to never tried to conquer anyone else. That’s actually their thing. They don’t look to convert. They are a race unto themselves not just a religion. They don’t stop those who choose to convert, but they do not send people to your door on a Sunday afternoon, and they have never invaded anyone.

In 1948. after it as discovered that millions of them were killed for no reason, it was decided by the world that they needed a safe place they could call their own. People are angry about this. People are angry because a piece of land that had been historically Abrahamic territory, but was invaded and stolen by others was being returned to them. The same people who complain about Native American land being stolen by white settlers because, “The Natives were there first” complain that the Israelites got their land back. No race has ever been more cohesive than the Jewish people. They are not just a religion but a race as well, and they do their best to keep their way of life unchanged for centuries. Where as the Native Americans were thousands of different tribes who came to the American continent over thousands of years and spent most of that time killing each other to extinction.

Jewish people, however, are known to be hard working. It’s part of their culture. No matter how many times they are knocked down, they keep their heads down and keep working for their families and their faith… and they are hated for it. There is no group in the world so universally hated. There was just a hostage situation in TX in which a Muslim extremist specifically targeted a Synagogue on the Sabbath, and took hostages. The news kind of mentioned something about a UK man taking hostages but they weren’t sure why… it’s over now, it doesn’t really matter.

Except it does. This was a terrorist attack. This was a hate crime. The fact that a Muslim extremist specifically targeted a Synagogue on the holiest day of the week was not a coincidence, but let’s not make people think poorly of Muslim terrorist… that wouldn’t be PC.

If oppression, and not personal choices is what causes inequality and poverty then how does one explain the Jews. They are the doctors, the lawyers, the accountants. They run the banks. They are the evil rich people… who have been historically oppressed by everyone. People don’t want to help the oppress. They just hate the rich. If you don’t believe me. Ask them how they feel about Israel.

stone statue of leader of civil rights movement in washington dc
Love

Why we honor MLK

Katrina Russell

Today is a day to honor Rev Dr Martin Luthor King Jr. This is a very important day, and it is very significant that we honor and remember all of his accomplishments, as well as his message of peace.

There were many civil rights leaders of that time, but he is the only one with a day. Some consider this racist. Those people probably are the same people who think pancake syrup is racist. What makes a person worth an honor and a remembrance, like a day or a statue, is not just that they aim for a particular goal, but the way that they go about doing it.

MLK was all about peace. Peaceful resistance, and love. Love for all fellow men. He was not looking to elevate anyone over anyone else. He was looking to accomplish equality among all individuals. He did this by reminding people not to hurt others but to embrace them. To be allies and friends. He wanted his kids to walk with the white kids not against them or above them.

We honor MLK because of the accomplishments that he gave to this country, and the hardships he and his family endured for doing so. We do not honor MLK because he was a perfect man. This is an important distinction. This is something that some people have forgotten. No one is perfect. No one is without sin. Everyone is a product of their time, and a slave to their vices, and Dr King was no exception.

All over the country people are tearing down statues of freedom fighters because they disagree with something or another about the person. The person is not the point. The person is a symbol of the movement. Just as Dr King was a symbol of the non-violent civil rights movement that touched the hearts of people not just all over the country, but all over the world.

There are not statues to Dr King for being a philanderer. There are not statues to Dr King for being a rapist. There are not statues of Dr King for being a Communist. Though he was all of those things. He was a person. A person who had demons. A person who was a product of his time. A person that did unspeakable things behind closed doors, but who still brought a message of hope and peace to the world.

Never meet your heroes. It’s an old expression usually used now to talk about movie stars and athletes, but its origin is unclear. Everyone wants to attribute it to the person they first heard say it. Which in and of itself is ironic as they are putting the quote to the person they admire, but the point remains. No one is perfect. No one is the angel we know in our imagination. Dr King is no different.

It is amazing and wonderful that Dr King has a day to remember him. It is unbelievable that it happened so quickly considering he was fighting for the right to be treated as an equal, and less that 20 years after his death he was granted a Federal Holiday. In fact, other than Columbus, he is the only individual with a Federal Holiday named after him. We used to have Washington’s birthday, but that has since been converted to Presidents Day and now they all share it. Similar to Veterans Day.

Rev Dr Martin Luthor King is the only American to ever have a day named and celebrated for him, and he had a horrible history of sex crimes and treating women horribly. Does that mean we should take away his day? Does that mean we should rename all of the MLK Blvds all over the country? Or does that mean that we understand that he wasn’t perfect, but we honor him for the accomplishments and the amazing things that he did do? I say the latter, and I say the same for all of our other people in history. We don’t honor Jefferson and Washington for owning slaves, and we don’t honor MLK for his sins either. Let thee without sin cast the first stone. Until then, Let’s remember the good we’ve all done.

Healthcare, parenting, Politics

Freedom is Hard

Katrina Russell

Freedom and rights are hard concepts to understand. Most people are under the impression that each of these represent things that should be given to them. “I have the right to have a house or a new iPhone or whatever medical care I need therefore you must give it to me.”. But those are not rights. Those are desires. You have the right to purchase any of those things and no one should be able to infringe on your rights to work hard and accomplish things, but that is not the same as being given something.

As people we have the right to be left alone and to do as we please. The choices we make then decide the life that we lead. This has become completely turned around by everyone. Most people in our society and in every political party seems to think that freedom means doing whatever one wants without consequence and rights are to have whatever they choose without the needs to work for them.

Growing up my father always said that the job of a parent was to raise children to be independent. Children who can take care of themselves after the parent is gone, and hopefully take care of the parent after they are no longer able to care for themself. That’s freedom. Not having to depend on others. That’s rights, being free to make decisions that enable you to be free, and all of it is hard.

Now, just to be clear. I am not opposed to social programs. I live in Massachusetts, and we even have a socialized healthcare program that was put forth by Mitt Romney about 20 years ago and has been working pretty well ever since. I am quite liberal on many of these subjects, but they are not rights. No one has the right to food that they didn’t grow or buy themselves. No one has the right to someone else’s labor. However, if in a specific community people decide that they want to help out their fellow neighbors in need with programs they choose to pay into that is also freedom, and their right to do so. The right to do what they wish with the benefits of one’s own labor is a right, and a freedom. Someone who feels they are in power over the people telling them they must give up their labor to someone else is extortion.

The flip side of this is cancel culture. The act of looking for anything that someone has ever done that was questionable and then spreading it to everyone possible in order to ruin someone. Those who believe in cancel culture say that it’s all fair because with freedom comes consequences and actions have consequences, which is true. The actions themselves do, but, for instance, the teenage girl who used the “N” word while quoting a rap song to tell another white friend she got driver’s license when she was 16 years old and then was not allowed into the college of her choice years later because someone held onto that information for the perfect strategic moment to inflict as much damage as possible is a classic example of the actions and consequences not matching. The girl didn’t use the word with racist intent, and she was a child when she said it with a very limited understanding of the world and the rules that go with it. This may have been a teaching moment at most, but not a nuclear bomb to her life moment.

Today we are seeing a serious push against freedom everywhere we look. We are seeing people’s speech being censored, we are seeing places of worship being shut down, we are seeing people’s jobs and right to work being eliminated, and we’re seeing all of this under the guise of “leaders” keeping us safe. We are being told that we have no RIGHT to know what our children are being taught in schools, and that we have no RIGHT to speak out against those who are in power regardless of whether or not we are correct in our assertions or not.

We are told that our safety takes priority and that those in charge are the ones to make that decision. That is not how this country was designed. That is not what our forefathers fought for, that’s not what anyone agreed to when they chose to move here from wherever they came. This country was settled by people who were willing to fight and die for the lives they chose to live. It doesn’t matter which settlers we’re talking about. Whether it be the settlers who came over from Asia for thousands of years, the Europeans who came over for hundreds of years, or the many other groups who are still fighting to come over today.

The Asians (now called Native Americans or First Nations or whatever new term of the month it is) and the Europeans came over and dealt with harsh weather, new species of animals, and which ever groups of people had come before them. Most people died. Thousands of tribes of Natives were made extinct before the Europeans even knew this place existed, and hundreds of settlements never made it through a winter once they did, but group after group still come.

Today we see caravans of people walking thousands of miles from South America. We see families risking life and limb in shark infested oceans to just set foot on our shores to gain the freedoms we take for granted. Millions of Africans, Asians, and Arabs have come in the last hundred years knowing that they have to learn the language and the new customs to fit in with our society and they welcome the opportunity, because they know that our society isn’t easy, but if they work hard their children and their children’s children will have a better life here.

Freedom and Rights are not about the to stay safe or the right to never die. Freedom and Rights are about making choices that fit your life and no one stopping you, especially not the government you employ to protect your rights. If you want more privileges, then by all means ask for them. Talk to your communities about sharing the responsibilities for those who can’t or those who won’t, but don’t pretend it’s your right to control someone else or to take the fruits of their labor. That’s just theft, and you have no right to that.

Addiction, bullying, Law of Attraction, Love, Mental Health, Prayer

Nihilism is killing people

Katrina Russell

I want to start by saying that I wasn’t raised religious. This is important for me to point out because a lot of people feel that only people who were brainwashed from childhood could possibly be religious, and that’s just not true. Religion is for those who are looking for meaning in life. There are as many religions in this world as there are people because everyone interprets their religion in a personalized way.

Human’s need something to believe in. They need to feel like life is worth something. Not every religion is a good or positive religion, but they all at least give people hope for a future. People need hope. They need something to hold on to. People work all week for the weekends. They struggle all year for their vacation. They Scrimp and save for a house or car or something bigger and better that makes their life feel more complete.

People also need to feel like when they lose someone that they are not gone forever. That a part of that person lives on in some way. I was not raised religious, but after my father passed away, I couldn’t imagine an existence without him. He HAS to be watching over us. My son’s father used to think I was crazy. He’d try to explain all the ways in which it wasn’t possible. I told him none of that mattered. That no one could possibly KNOW what happens after we die so we can believe whatever we want. Whatever makes us feel better.

He couldn’t handle that explanation. He was a nihilist in its truest form. He couldn’t fathom a reason for any of it. He was scared out of his mind about dying. He would go into full-fledged panic attacks over the thought of it. He knew it would happen at some point, but he just couldn’t wrap his mind around not existing. He couldn’t see any other option, but he couldn’t handle the thought of just being gone. He didn’t understand why we bothered to live. Why we bothered to suffer. Why we bothered to work hard or fall in love or have a family if it just meant that we died in the end, and it was over.

This wasn’t anything new in his life. He had these feelings and concerns since he was a teenager. He couldn’t believe in anything that he didn’t have proof of. He felt empty all the time and turned to drugs. He ended up institutionalized multiple times before he turned 18. By the time I met him he had been diagnosed with bipolar, borderline personality, and generalized anxiety. He was in recovery for his addiction, but still heavily medicated for his other disorders.

He was a great guy, and we did fall in love. We did create a family. He loved our son more than he thought possible, but that caused him even more pain. He couldn’t understand what the point of all of it was. He couldn’t see why we should all put our energy into accomplishing things in life just to die. His goal was to actually become a robot. I used to laugh at that. I used to tease him saying, “like a cyberman from Doctor Who? You know those are the bad guys, right?”.

He didn’t see any other way. He couldn’t handle emotions. He couldn’t handle the fear, the unknown, emptiness that he saw in his future. The irony of his disease, his nihilism, his despair for the future is that it made him suicidal. He had tried twice before I met him, and I couldn’t understand when he told me how anyone so afraid of dying could want to die. He told me that it was the constant fear of the unknown. The constant exhaustion he felt over the anxiety of not feeling anything. The drugs didn’t work, the therapy didn’t work, nothing worked because he had nothing to believe in.

Every generation seems to be becoming more and more like this. They seem to not understand what life is about. They don’t want to work for things. They don’t want to get married. They don’t want to have a family. They just want to live a life of nothingness, of physical and momentary pleasures. Life is about the “Now” there was a whole book series about this, but I don’t think that any of them actually read or understood the concept of that book. The new generation has decided that religion, and family, and responsibility are somehow bad and that primal pleasures are the only things worth living for.

Yet every generation becomes more and more depressed. More and more dependent on drugs and alcohol. More and more suicidal. All anyone ever does anymore is complain about how miserable they are. How lonely they are. How broken they are. But when you suggest that maybe that is because they have nothing to believe in or goals to accomplish, or real relationships to depend on they just respond with something about the patriarchy and “ok Boomer”.

My generation was the first generation with a major war or a draft. My generation was the first to have vaccinations for the really harmful diseases. My generation went through life arguing about whether or not Die Hard was a Christmas Movie. We were the first generation that were just expected to go to college, and we did it without much help from computers and no one had cell phones or social media as kids. We were the last generation to be raised to think about the future.

The Millennials came up right behind me and suddenly everything they ever did was out on the internet for the world to see. Suddenly everyone was comparing their lives to everyone else’s, and no one was happy. No one saw value in anything. They just saw envy and greed and became a generation that focused on what they could get for as little work as possible.

I was the tail end of the Gen Xers and the beginning of the online dating scene. It used to be you had to meet someone in person. You had to talk to them. Get to know them. Get them to like you before you saw them naked. It took work and made the end result worth it. Now you just swipe, and you have a line up for the week. No work involved and no feelings of accomplishment either. Relationships are work. Saving is work. Work is work. No one wants to do that anymore. Because no one thinks that anything that happens actually matters.

I know that they’ll say, “oh I have to work 3 jobs just to afford rent”. Sure, and when people point out that you buy a new $1000 phone or a new $1500 game system every year you just scoff that you deserve it. Yes, things are more expensive. Things are always more expensive every year. But if you got married and had a joint income that would give you more collective money… but no one wants to do that.

Everyone wants to take a pill, hook up, and sit in front of a screen and pretend their life away. I saw a video of Keanu Reeves talking about his conversation with a kid who didn’t understand what was wrong with living in the Matrix. Who cares if it’s not real? He thought this was great! He literally missed the whole point of the 4 movies he was in. It’s not great.

I saw a commercial for the new Facebook Meta world VR system. There were two guys who played together all the time. They were great friends in the VR world. They were ignoring their families and annoying those around them. including each other. As it turns out they were neighbors and didn’t even know it. They just yelled at each other to “keep it down” when they heard each other enjoy each other in real life.

Is that the kind of life people really want? Ignoring and annoying their family and neighbors to live online? This world is becoming obsessed with not living. Like my son’s father who couldn’t handle real feelings and fears and wanted to become a Cyberman. And like my son’s father this whole world is killing itself with drugs and apathy.

August 14, 2019 Neil Thompson died of a drug overdose. He had just worked out a custody agreement with me. He had just finished his Associates Degree and was moving on to his BS. He had started a new relationship with a new girl who he lied to about all of his issues. He was found in his bed in his sober house because he couldn’t handle living while feeling. How long is it going to take the rest of the world to kill themselves in the name of nihilism, and not having anything real to believe in?

close up photo of woman with her hands tied with rope
Addiction, bullying, grief, Law of Attraction, Love, Mental Health

Trauma… the badge of honor

Katrina Russell

When did trauma become the cool thing? Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that people have trauma, but trauma is a horrible thing. Trauma is not something that you want wish upon your worst enemy. Most people have had some sort of trauma in their life and it’s all relative. I was in a pretty bad custody battle as a child. I lived in a car with my mom. My parents had a tug-o-war over me in the streets. I was kidnapped by my mom and brought to live in a church commune…. you know… a cult. These things can be pretty traumatic, but they all ended. Eventually these things stopped, and my dad got total custody and only allowed my mom to visit when he was around.

I had an older brother… on occasion he liked to kick the crap out of me. On occasion we played fanciful games together and had a great time. When we got to our teen years he fought with everyone a lot and ended up moving out at 17. I was 14. I remember having the guidance counselor at school try to talk to me about it. How was it affecting me? What could she do to help? That was easy, I was sad. I missed him, but there was nothing to be done until he came back. It was a little over a year before we heard from him again. I remember answering the phone when he called and being overwhelmed with emotions.

I dated jerk guys and nice guys. I had friendships fall apart and new one’s spring out of nowhere. I was unemployed, underemployed and worked too many jobs to count. My best friend became an alcoholic and I had to help her ex take care of their kids I lost my Grams and got married and divorced… and this was all in my 20s. (well, divorced in my early 30s)

By my mid-30s I felt like I was getting my s**t together. I was dating a great guy. We were talking about starting a family. I had a great job in an industry that I loved…. what could go wrong? Well, everything. By the end of my 30s I had found out that my mom, who I hadn’t heard from in years, was dead. I had my baby boy, whom I love more than anything in the multiverse, but his father had relapsed into a spiraling drug induced state… and when I was 39, I woke up one morning to find my father had died in his sleep. Eight months later his longtime girlfriend died as well… on my birthday, and a little over a month later, 2 days before Christmas, on my nephew’s birthday… I watched my dog get hit by a car. Since then, I went through a long custody battle of my own with my son’s father that culminated in him losing his battle with that said addiction… thankfully it was a few years later.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, I got my son a therapist. Losing his Papa and then the on again off again of his Da who finally died he was having some behavioral issues in school and a good healthy case of separation anxiety whenever he left my side. I call it healthy, because that’s what it was. It was his way of working out the things that he needed to work through.

I remember talking to his therapist about everything and her saying something along the lines of, “You’ve been through a lot, but unlike other people they aren’t things that you do that cause the problems. It’s things that just happen to you”. And she was right. The school councilor back in the day wanted to know how to help me. But there was nothing that could be done. My pain hadn’t come from anything that I did. It came from something that happened to me. My parents dying. My son’s father dying. Problems with exes, these were all the results of other people’s actions. Some people would find that disheartening. Some people would look at their trauma and their “victim status” as a reflection if not an identity of themselves. They would feel as if the world was against them and hold onto that trauma like an award that was given to them to prove how special they were.

I don’t see trauma in that way. I certainly don’t see bad things that happen to me as a reflection of me at all. I didn’t cause my parents to divorce, or my brother to leave, or my son’s father to do drugs, or my parents to die. These are things that other people have done that affect me but does in no way embody me. I am who I am despite all of these things happening around me and to me. I am who I am because of all of the things that happen around me and to me. It doesn’t do anyone any good to create a persona of trauma and hold onto it so tightly that it drowns you.

Trauma happens to everyone. I have been through my share, but it is nothing compared to what others have been though and its way more than some can imagine. Letting it dictate my life only lets the trauma and those perpetrating that trauma on you win. I’m not saying it’s easy to let it go. I’m saying its necessary if you want to move forward with your life. Somewhere along the line in our society it because desirable to be damaged. To prove that you have it worse than others. It gives you an excuse to not try, not do, not be…. everything that you can be because someone else broke you.

Bad things happened to you. I’m sorry. I truly am. But unless you want to live the rest of your life miserable and giving your power over to those that hurt you then you need to stand up and take your power back. You need to forgive those who caused you pain… and let go of what’s been drowning you.

aerial photography of rock formation
Politics, Prayer

Morals without Religion

Katrina Russell

I was born in the 70s and raised in the 80s and 90s. This was when a really big push away from organized religion and more towards “spirituality”. At least in the US. I was not raised in any particular religion, though I was brought up with Judeo-Christian values. My father had gone to Catholic school as a child and hated it. My mother was a Protestant who later developed schizophrenia and became obsessed with God talking to her.

Growing up my dad would read the children’s Bible to me, and we watched an awful lot of the History channel, so I learned about a lot of religions. The reasons behind them. Their beliefs. Their corruption. When I would do sleepovers as a child my dad would encourage me to go to church, or Temple or what have you with my friend so I could experience things on my own.

When I hit my late teens I started to really get into the Wiccan religion. This was around the time of movies like, “The Craft” and teenage girls were all drawn to the mystery… and Skeet Ulrich. This was also around the time of other outside religions becoming more popular. The ancient ones like what the natives and druids practiced as well as the more recent Buddhist. People were more about being one with Earth or the Universe than to answer to an overbearing Father figure.

I remember it became very popular for people to say, “You don’t have to be religious to be moral” and I agreed. I was particularly religious. I had gone to church a handful of times since my parents had split when I was a baby. I didn’t follow any doctrine or worship at any specific alter. I just knew what was right and what was wrong. I knew it was wrong to lie, cheat, steal, kill.. I knew it was wrong to be disrespectful to my dad or my grams. I knew that it wouldn’t do me any good to be envious of those with more or to be spiteful to those with less. I knew the Golden Rule was Golden not because some God told me so, but because it made sense and it felt right.

When I learned about religion I learned about philosophy and psychology and politics. I understood how people could say that all of the rules being spouted were more about leaders trying to keep a citizenry safe and obedient. How the same rules that God laid out in the TEN COMMANDMENTS were very close to the rules that were taught in “everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten”.

Religious doctrines are rules created by which ever gods the religion believes in, and religious leaders decide are best for the people to abide by to create a working civilization. Some are good and some are bad, and you can tell their worth by how successful the society is. In some religions as in some politics there is a choice to make one the better and one the least of us. Good leaders treat everyone as an equal and gives everyone the same rules and same opportunities. This is something that the Western Enlightenment. Specifically, the Protestant Enlightenment has been fabulous at. For 10s of thousands of years tribes have been conquering, enslaving, and killing off other tribes. In just a short couple hundred years the Western Protestant Enlightenment changed all of that.

No one other than the Western Protestant Enlightened countries has ended slavery, has given women and children rights, and has even given its citizens the right to not believe in their God. You don’t have to be Christian in this country founded on Christianity, but you do have to follow their rules. Their morals. You don’t have to be religious to be moral… but you have to be moral. This country is losing their morality. We are becoming a country of literal Satanist. You think I’m kidding or being hyperbolic, but there are many who are turning to the “Satanic Temple” or some variation thereof. Their belief is that the individual is GOD. that all that matters is the individuals wants and needs and desires.

It is no longer about being a healthy and productive part of society. About creating a world that is better for your children and your children’s children. People today don’t want children. They don’t want to get married. They don’t want to work. They don’t want to pay off the debt they have accrued. All of those things are too hard. Being faithful, and respectful, and responsible is something other people used to do. The people who lived by the patriarchy or the theological bigots. People today want to do what feels good to them at the moment. Who cares who it hurts? Including themselves later.

So, now that I’m older, wiser, and seen more of the world. I think you do need some religion. Some guiding force. Something to help you become a good, strong, healthy member of society. Because left to one’s own devices no one will ever grow up… and no one will ever take on responsibility if they are not taught to, and civilization can’t be healthy without it.

Addiction, bullying, Mental Health, Politics

Just because you can laugh doesn’t mean you should

Katrina Russell

Social media is one of my favorite things. I’ve not going to lie about that. I have been on Facebook since MySpace got crazy. I have Twitter, Insta, LinkedIn, GETTR…. and so on. I love connecting with my friends. I love following my favorite PodCasters and news outlets. I even love following news outlets that I can’t stand anymore, just so I know what is being said.

I am very actively involved in my feed. Especially on Facebook. I’m in my mid 40s and that’s pretty much the demographic for that site. The moms of the world buying/selling on marketplace, setting up play groups, getting family event ideas and sharing all of our picture of our kids… fur or otherwise.

I like, comment and share my way through the day. I love the new “care” feature that has been added. It’s really good for people my age who have to comment on all the posts from friends whose kids are sick, who are losing their parents, who got laid off from a job, or are getting divorced. You don’t really want to like or love those posts, but you want to react to it in some way to show that you care…. viola! The share button is invented.

The one thing that I don’t understand is how people use the laugh button. I mean it’s really very sick. Especially with all the Covid information going about. I’ve read posts about people who have been locked down losing their homes, or their kids committing suicide, or businesses burned down during the BLM riots last year…. and the response is someone laughing. Laughing at kids committing suicide because they believe that none of that matters as long as we prevent Covid from spreading.

There is always a constant stream of people being diagnosed with Covid. Some of those people have chosen not to take the vaccine, because they know that no one knows the long-term side effects and they would rather take the chance with a virus. Then they get infected with Covid, and people hit the laugh button and comment that they hope that the person dies. People are hoping that other people die because they choose a different course of action in medical treatments.

A good proportion of this country in particular, but the world as a whole has become a cult in which if a person isn’t with them, they are against them. People are hoping for the death of their friends, family, coworkers, or fellow human beings because they make a different choice than themselves. They laugh at other people’s pain and heartache because they disagree with their perspective.

All over social media there are posts about Narcissists. Everyone claims to have dated one or be raised by one or to have worked for one, and I used to think that people were just being dramatic, but now I see that it’s true. Of course, the same people who are making the claims are they, themselves Narcissists. They are angry and lashing out on their Narcissistic mate because the other Narcissist didn’t cave to their own Narcissistic demands.

No one wants to get married anymore. No one wants to have kids. No one wants to take care of their parents. No one wants to work for their own welfare. Everyone just wants to take what they feel and laugh at other’s who disagree or get in the way. No wonder drug use and suicide rates are so high. Without empathy no one can have a truly meaningful life.

Addiction, grief, Love, Mental Health, parenting

Celebrating Life Even When It’s Over

Katrina Russell

My son’s father’s birthday was March 8.. it was a really hard day. My son just turned 7 a couple weeks before and now he was to celebrate his Da.. only his Da died almost 7 months ago.

It’s hard to explain death to a small child. It’s so final. It so big. But my son… he knows death. He has lived through the death of too many loved ones at his young age. When I told my son of his father’s death he was shook.. he was sad.. he was mad.. he was… well, he just was. This was his life now. He no longer had his Da. He never would again. He didn’t have his Da to go Trick or Treating with. He didn’t have his Da at Thanksgiving. He didn’t have his Da at Christmas or his own birthday.. but on March 8.. we were celebrating the birth of a man that didn’t get any older.

This was Da’s first birthday since his death day.. which I have no idea how I’m going to deal with.. but I still felt like the day should be observed. I still felt like my son should have the opportunity to celebrate the life that his Da had. No matter how sadly it ended.

One of Da’s favorite places to go was Castle Island. It’s a little beach area in South Boston, MA. It was a place that he remembered as a child and he loved sharing it with our son. We would go there for most special occasions. Last memorial day was our first chance to actually get a tour of the fort that is there. We spent most father’s days there and it held a lot of memories of the two of them together. I thought it would be a wonderful to memorialize him.

My son made a card for his Da and we tied it to a balloon and we attempted to send it off. I know.. horrible for the environment. Not really my priority at the moment. I’m going to be honest. So my little 7 year old stood in the middle of the ocean bridge and sent his balloon up to heaven for his Da… and it sunk. And my brave little boy was sad… but he knew that no matter what his Da loved him and knew how much he loved his Da.. and after all was said and done my 7 year old little boy was stronger than I’ve ever been.

Watch “Saying happy birthday to heaven” on YouTube

Love, Mental Health

I Am Positively NOT Always Happy

Katrina Russell

I have been seeing a lot of posts recently about how positive thinking is a horrible idea and how no one can possibly be happy all the time and it’s made me think… WHAT IN THE HELL ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?!?!

Positive thinking is NOT about being happy all the time. That is just ridiculous. In fact it’s pretty much the opposite. Positive thinking is about KNOWING that bad stuff happens.. and it happens a lot. and it can be really, really, really bad, but that you’re going to be OK. That even though horrible things happen everyday to everyone and that we can in no way control a lot of the bad things that happen around us that good things happen just the same.

Positive thinking is looking around the world today and seeing everything and everyone in lock down over the Coronavirus and not thinking, “Oh aren’t I so happy that the people are dying and business are closing and no one knows what’s going to happen.. isn’t this great?!”, because that would be psychotic.

Positive thinking is looking around and thinking. “Wow, this is crazy. I can’t believe how bad this is getting, but at least I’m seeing people who are helping others. At least we know that this is going to help stop the spread of the virus and, though many will die and that’s horrible, this will hopefully lessen the amount. And after all is said and done the economy will bounce back and we will be normal again.”

Positive thinking is about not giving up in the face of adversity. It’s about seeing the bad things and holding on to hope…. it’s about wanting better for the future no matter how dire things look today.

Saying that positive thinking is having to always be happy is like saying dieting means you never eat again. It’s completely unhealthy and unrealistic… looking for the bright side or hoping for something better at the end of it all.. that’s what keeps the world spinning. Otherwise we mine as well just all stop living and wait for the next asteroid. There’s always going to be conflict and problems.. but it’s how you plan to deal with them that matter.