Katrina Michelle Russell

I am what I am and that’s all that I am

May 4, 2017May 4, 2017 Katrina Russell

If someone were to ask you, “Who are you?” what would you say?. Most people would respond in a way that either names them or describes them physically. “I am Katrina Russell… I am a woman.I am white. I have blonde hair, for the moment. I am a mom. I am a Life Coach, Blogger, and Public Speaker.” But those are things that I do. Those are ways that I look. That is not WHO I AM.

Who I am is the being, entity, soul, energy, which ever word you feel comfortable with, that lives inside this body. That chooses to do those things. We get so caught up in being judged for who we are that we forget who we are.

My son is four years old. He loves to see pictures of himself and announce to the world that he is “Jason”. He feels very connected to that name, but four years ago it was just a jumbles of sounds that I made that had no relevance to him. He would see himself in the mirror and not know that it was him looking back. He had an immense sense of self, without even knowing his own name.

No one told him who he was when he was born. He knew who he was. That was the only thing that he knew. He had no idea that I was his mama, just that I was there to feed him and smooch him and give him the things that he… as a being wanted and needed.

I look at him now and he has no opinions on the clothes he wears for the most part, as long as he’s not cold or hot. Though he did just pick out his own sneakers for the first time, so he knows what he likes, but doesn’t think about how they look on him as a body. He dances like a freak and laughs and smiles all the while. He doesn’t feel judgement about his movements. He doesn’t worry what other’s think. He is him.

When I think about who I am, sure I am all those things above, but I am all of those things because of genetic accident or someone’s choice. Even my name, though lovely was a choice. We don’t feel like it was. We are our names for as long as we can remember and had no choice in the matter, but someone did. Our parents, guardians, whomever signed the certificate. It was just another choice.

When I think about who I am. I am not tall, I am not a good driver, I am not a fan of Doctor Who…. those are things that I do. When I think about who I am I am strong, I am smart, I am loving, I am an eternal light that knows no bounds. And so are you.

Uncategorized

How women’s rights stack up in religion

May 3, 2017 Katrina Russell

Sharia Law has been in the news for years. It’s been a hot topic in politics. An excuse to go to war. An excuse to ban refugees. Sharia Law has become a catch all to what is wrong with those who worship differently than us.

There has been a whole movement from the alt-right media proclaiming that a vote for Obama or a vote for Hilary is a vote for Sharia Law and that women won’t be safe. That women will lose their God given rights if those “evil Muslims” come to this country. They will be raping women in the streets and murdering anyone who opposes them.

I mean the horror! Could you imagine being a woman in this country and not feeling comfortable walking down a dark street at night by yourself… or even with a couple of girlfriends? Could you imagine if, God forbid, you were raped and no one believed you because why would a woman be dressing like that or talking to a man alone? Could you imagine being told not to talk because as a woman you should be seen and not heard? Could you imagine not being able to get certain jobs or if you did being told that you should make less money because your job should be to care for your husband and have babies? It’s unimaginable!

As a society we are great at pointing out other’s flaws without actually looking in the mirror. Perhaps we’ve all watched too many Superman movies and believe that our glass houses are actually made out of Kryptonian crystals and that we are Godlike in them.

Here is a list of Sharia Laws about women.

According to Sharia law:
• A non-Muslim man who marries a Muslim woman is punishable by death.
• A man can marry an infant girl and consummate the marriage when she is 9 years old.
• Girls’ clitoris should be cut (Muhammad’s words, Book 41, Kitab Al-Adab, Hadith 5251).
• A woman can have 1 husband, who can have up to 4 wives; Muhammad can have more.
• A man can beat his wife for insubordination (see Religion of Peace).
• A man can unilaterally divorce his wife; a woman needs her husband’s consent to divorce.
• A divorced wife loses custody of all children over 6 years of age or when they exceed it.
• Testimonies of four male witnesses are required to prove rape against a woman.
• A woman who has been raped cannot testify in court against her rapist(s).
• A woman’s testimony in court, allowed in property cases, carries ½ the weight of a man’s.
• A female heir inherits half of what a male heir inherits (see Errors in Quran).
• A woman cannot drive a car, as it leads to fitnah (upheaval).
• A woman cannot speak alone to a man who is not her husband or relative.

Now I’m not going to lie, some of these are horrendous! But this book was written thousands of years ago. Just like the Bible. It was only a couple hundred years ago that girls as young as 12 or 13 were getting married. Shakespeare’s Juliet was about that age. Women were considered property. They first belonged to their fathers then their husbands. They received no inheritance. They could not own land. In this country they haven’t even been able to vote for 100 years yet.

Christianity has a Mormon sect in which men can take more than one bride, and we
watch them on TV. College guys are getting off… no pun intended… for raping women because “a 20 minute mistake shouldn’t ruin his life.”

There was a hash tag recently #thingsonlychristianwomenhear and most of it was to be expected. Women are here to serve their man. Gee, you’re smart for a women. Up to and including a Pastor asking a husband if he can give the man’s wife a hug. Even our Vice President won’t share a meal with a woman unless his wife is present. The same media that perpetuates how disturbing Sharia Law is the same media that say things like, “Shut up and no your place.” to female co-workers.

Now I’m not saying that we should ignore people who commit crimes by our legal definitions. Beating their wives, having sex with 9 year olds. Clearly those things are wrong and quite frankly disgusting. But just because a book says these things to be true, doesn’t mean ALL Muslims practice them. Just like not ALL Christian men don’t believe:

A wife is a man’s property: You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. Exodus 20:17
Daughters can be bought and sold: If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do. Exodus 21:7
A raped daughter can be sold to her rapist: ²⁸ If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, ²⁹ he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. Deuteronomy 22:28-29
Collecting wives and sex slaves is a sign of status: He [Solomon] had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. 1 Kings 11:3
Used brides deserve death: If, however the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. Deuteronomy 22:20-21.
Women, but only virgins, are to be taken as spoils of war: Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, ¹⁸ but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man. Numbers 31:17-18
Menstruating women are spiritually unclean: ¹⁹ “‘When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening. ²⁰ “‘Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean. ²¹ Anyone who touches her bed will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening. ²² Anyone who touches anything she sits on will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, . . . ³⁰ The priest is to sacrifice one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. In this way he will make atonement for her before the LORD for the uncleanness of her discharge. ³¹ “‘You must keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanness for defiling my dwelling place,^[a] which is among them.’” Leviticus 15: 19-31
A woman is twice as unclean after giving birth to girl as to a boy: A woman who becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son will be ceremonially unclean for seven days, just as she is unclean during her monthly period. ‘ 3 On the eighth day the boy is to be circumcised. 4 Then the woman must wait thirty-three days to be purified from her bleeding. She must not touch anything sacred or go to the sanctuary until the days of her purification are over. 5 If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding. 6 ” ‘When the days of her purification for a son or daughter are over, she is to bring to the priest at the entrance to the tent of meeting a year-old lamb for a burnt offering and a young pigeon or a dove for a sin offering. Leviticus 12: 1-8
A woman’s promise is binding only if her father or husband agrees: 2 When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said. 3 “When a young woman still living in her father’s household makes a vow to the LORD or obligates herself by a pledge 4 and her father hears about her vow or pledge but says nothing to her, then all her vows and every pledge by which she obligated herself will stand. 5 But if her father forbids her when he hears about it, none of her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand; the LORD will release her because her father has forbidden her. . . . . A woman’s vow is meaningless unless approved by her husband or father. But if her husband nullifies them when he hears about them, then none of the vows or pledges that came from her lips will stand. Her husband has nullified them, and the LORD will release her. 13 Her husband may confirm or nullify any vow she makes or any sworn pledge to deny herself. Numbers 30:1-16
Women should be seen not heard: Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. 1 Corinthians 14:34
Wives should submit to their husband’s instructions and desires: Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18
In case you missed that submission thing . . . : Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24.
More submission – and childbearing as a form of atonement: A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. ¹² I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. ¹³ For Adam was formed first, then Eve. ¹⁴ And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. ¹⁵ But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. 1 Timothy 2: 11-15
Women were created for men: For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head. ⁷ A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. ⁸ For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; ⁹ neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 1 Corinthians 11:2-10
Sleeping with women is dirty: No one could learn the song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth. ⁴ These are those who did not defile themselves with women, for they remained virgins. They follow the Lamb wherever he goes. They were purchased from among mankind and offered as first-fruits to God and the Lamb. Revelation 14:3-4

If we are going to hold all people responsible for all of what their religion says, then let’s start locking up Christian men as well. Or we could understand that people are individuals. As society we have grown since these books were written, and as people we have a mind to decide for ourselves what is right and what is wrong. Personally I see a lot of wrong in our own society we don’t need to go looking for the Devil in others.

bullying, parenting, Uncategorized

Nothing hurts like a punch in the nose

May 2, 2017May 1, 2017 Katrina Russell

“Nothing hurts like a punch in the nose.” That’s what my father always told us whenever we encountered a bully. My brother swore by them and used this method whenever possible. Eventually he became the bully himself. He is in his mid-forties and still jokes about it.

The other day his son came home and told him that kids at school were teasing him about his eyes. I should mention that he’s half Filipino and half white. He is in a small private school that actually has quite a few students of Asian decent. But my nephew is both White and Asian, so apparently that is something to be teased.

He is also 7 years old. He’s in first grade. He is dealing with bullies and race issues. Now what did my brother tell his sad little boy? “Nothing hurts like a punch in the nose.”

I reminded my so encouraging brother that this isn’t the 70s anymore and most schools have a “No violence” policy. He just laughed it off saying, “it’ll only take once, and no one will bother him again.”

That’s true. Expulsion usually ends school yard problems, but I started thinking about my brother’s reaction. I started thinking about how much things have changed. Now I am in no way condoning children hitting one another, but I do think that we have to teach children to stick up for themselves.

Today we are all about protecting our children from anything that may hurt them or disturb them. We have no tolerance policies. We have safe spaces. We have therapy in colleges for grown adult children who are offended by Halloween costumes… that was a real thing. College students are grown adults. They are over 18 and they needed therapy for Halloween costumes.

I have some friends who are teachers and they tell me that parents come in and argue with teachers about why “they gave their child a bad grade”. They expect the teacher to change the grade because obviously the student is special and brilliant and deserves As… even if they don’t actually do their homework. Even if they don’t pass the test.

Millennials are looking at increasing numbers of overdoses, suicides, and different forms of emotional disabilities. There has been a whole generation of children who were raised on medications, ADHD, anxiety, and depression are common place among kids and teens. Instead of being taught to be self sufficient and stand up for themselves, they are being taught that it’s always someone else’s fault.

School yard bullies have been around for as long as there have been school yards, but the difference is that we’re no longer teaching our children how to deal with the bullies. Now I don’t mean a punch in the nose, but we have rapes in schools that aren’t reported because women are afraid to come forward. We have a first lady saying that she’s taking on internet bullying while her family tweets insults everyone they deem not important.

We can’t change the bullies. Bullies breed new bullies. We have to start teaching our children to be strong. To stand up to bullies. To protect themselves and others. Not with a punch in the nose. But with grace and respect. That’s the only way we can stop bullying.

Uncategorized

Are you choosing weight-loss over health?

May 1, 2017May 1, 2017 Katrina Russell

There is a new diet out every other day to help you lose unwanted fat and become beautiful and desirable.. and so on. If you cut this and eat only that you will drop weight by the ton, but is it actually healthy?

I follow a wonderful fitness “expert” who was giving advice about getting rid of cellulite. I’ve heard this before, but she swears by it. Cut the sugar.. eat more fat. Sugar is a crazy killer and it has been proven over and over. Sugar causes heart disease and diabetes and all the things that you’ve heard, but too much fat can be dangerous too.

She posted that instead of eating oatmeal and fruit that it’s better to eat eggs and avocados for breakfast. Oatmeal… even plain with fruit is nothing but sugar. I remember reading that years ago and I started it straight away. I lost a bit of weight pretty quickly, and then my cholesterol skyrocketed. I commented to her about this and she told me to check out some random book about how to eat fats more healthily.. and I get that. There are different fats that do different things. But there is also one other major difference. She is in her 20s.. I am in my 40s. I have a thyroid condition. I have been over weight for like a decade, she put on some weight after having a baby and took it straight off.

We are all different. We are not one size fits all. All of our bodies breakdown food differently. It’s time we make real educated decisions about our health instead of superficial decisions about what will make our butt look best on the beach? Every new exercise program says right in the beginning, “Check with your doctor before starting”. There are nutritionists for a reason. Years ago I was a vegetarian for 3 years.. I got more and more sick. I went to a nutritionist who told me that I just needed to eat chicken. Not the best advice for a vegetarian, but the idea was there… I needed more protein.

A healthy weight is very important for our bodies, but how we maintain the weight is more important for how we actually live. A nice butt is just a perk.

Aleppo, Love, Uncategorized

What makes America great in the first place?

April 28, 2017April 26, 2017 Katrina Russell

This is an actual honest question that I keep asking, and that I never get an answer to. I hear it all the time, “It’s time to make America great again”. First of all, I’m of the mindset that despite it’s flaws America is already pretty great, so what does it mean to make it great “again”.

If the average person was to talk about when America hit it’s prime. When America really blossomed into the great country that we know it to be, it wasn’t during the frontier time when people were dying in droves trying to cross the wild lands. It wasn’t during the time of the old west when gun slingers could mosey on in and shoot up the place. It wasn’t during the Civil War when brother was killing brother. It wasn’t during the roaring 20s when mobsters started bootlegging their booze and causing havoc in the streets. It wasn’t during the Great Depression when people were jumping off buildings so their families could have the life insurance.

The time when America seemed to really shine was about WWII. The amazing men and women who stood up against the evils of hate and destruction. The young people of that time are known as “The Greatest Generation”. They lived through the depression and came out the other side with a sense of pride and humanity. They fought and died to protect the lives of others. To protect the rights of others. They came home and everything changed. College grants were given. The housing market opened up in suburbs. They had babies who became the Hippies of the 60s and 70s who understood that ALL PEOPLE ARE CREATED EQUAL.

Ah, America was great. Americans understood that “With great power came great responsibility” and that it was important to fight for “Truth, Justice, and the American Way!”.

There is a young man who has taken on the thankless task of interviewing the Veterans that are left from WWII. He has created a documentary and believes that it is important for their legacy to be remembered. He believes that we will all be better people if we meet these incredible men and women who were part of saving the world from the Axis of Evil…. that’s what they were called. Because it was understood that they were in fact evil. That killing people by the millions for their religious belief or their disability was in fact evil. He wants to make sure that their stories live forever, and that they didn’t suffer and die for nothing.

Today there are millions more people who are suffering in other countries. Not just Syria or the nations that we hear about because they happen to do business with us, as in the case of ISIS have turned their attention globally. There are many countries in which people are dying everyday. Either through starvation, or raids, or bombings… millions of innocent men, women, and children who are just as important as American men, women, and children but happen to have been born in a different geographical location.

What do you think makes America great? Do you think that we are great because we can all get the newest iPhone? Do you think that America is great because we have the fastest internet service? I believe America is so great, and has always been so great because we were founded on the notion that we are all equal. We were founded on the notion that we should all look out for each other.

If we want to keep America great we have to remember this. We have to remember the comradery that came out of WWII. We have to remember the hippies who said “make love not war”. We have to remember our founding fathers who said all people were, “endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”. We have to remember our Presidents who said, “ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”.

A lot of people take this last one to mean that no one should be given a free handout… but that’s a misinterpretation. What it means is that no one person should think that they are better than the whole. That in order for this country to succeed those who have need to take care of those who either do not have or can not have for themselves. That it is our job as Americans who have become strong and powerful to take care of the weak and needing.

You can use Christianity or just Humanity as your understanding of this statement. A good Christian, or a good person, helps those in need. They don’t hoard greedily while others suffer. They don’t judge others who may think or feel different from themselves… or look or love differently either.

People say that this country was founded on Christian ideals.. and that we need to keep God in our laws and our schools. Ok, well, God and Christ said to love thy neighbor. To not judge lest ye be judged. To give unto others.

What makes your America great?

Love, Uncategorized

The real reason your thoughts create your reality

April 27, 2017April 26, 2017 Katrina Russell

This is not a new concept. People have been saying this for centuries. What you think about is what determines your reality. There are soothsayers and psychics and scientists that will all tell you the same thing for their own reasons.

You have to manifest your destiny. You have to see what you want in your minds eye in order to create the life you want in reality. You have to make a vision board. You have to meditate daily. You have to journal. You have to create the right vibrational frequency. There is all kinds of advice out there for what you HAVE to do in order to create the life that you desire.

Then there are the skeptics. The you just have to work hard. You have to set goals. You have to get an education. You can’t just dream about things and make them happen. You have to be willing to get your hands dirty.

All I have to say is, they’re right. All of them.

You have to decide what you want. You have to decide how you want to achieve your goal. You have to have a clear picture of what your dream is. You have to stay focused on said dream through all other distraction. Then you have to set goals, work hard and get your hands dirty.

Tony Robbins has a bit in his speeches in which he tells everyone to look around the room and notice everything that is the color brown. Then he tells them to close their eyes and picture everything that’s green. Well, they have no idea. They weren’t looking for green things. How are they supposed to know?

It’s the same thing in life. If you decide that you want to be a kick ass Real Estate agent, and you aren’t going to stop until you are making millions and at the top of your field. Unless you start off with your daddy giving you millions and the banks funding your every move, you are going to have to hustle. You are going to have to live breath and sleep Real Estate. But here’s the thing, when you really decide that this is your focus it becomes easy. Suddenly you’re noticing people all around you talking about selling their houses. You’ll notice the “for sale by owner” signs. You’ll overhear people talking about how they can’t find that perfect ranch with 4 bedrooms and a Jacuzzi in the back.

Your brain picks up on what you want it to pick up on. If you decide that you want the perfect relationship and you really think about what the perfect relationship means to you. What it is.. and more importantly, what it is not. You will start to notice the red flags and beacons every where. You’ll notice when you’re on a date that the man pays a little too much attention to his phone, or the TV over your head. You’ll notice that men that are driven in their careers aren’t usually the ones out at the bars on a Tuesday night. If you want kids you’ll notice that when your interest is around their nephew he barely gives him a second glance.

People are creatures of habit. You have to learn to form the right habits to get what you want to achieve. If you want to lose weight and all you focus on is how much you miss chocolate.. that’s not going to help you. If you decide that you want an active and fit lifestyle and not just to loose weight you’ll start noticing all the outdoor activities there are in your community and how much fun the new “pound” sensation is then you’re more apt to reach your target and stay there.

You have to make the decision. You have to fully commit to change. You have to re-train your brain to take on new habits and new opportunities. Your brain wants to stay complacent. Your brain wants to be happy doing what it’s always done. If you really want to succeed. If you really want to change your life.. you have to actually become what you’re envisioning. Not just hope for the best. Not just try a few things. You have to be the change.

bullying, Love, parenting, Uncategorized

When does the joke cross the line?

April 26, 2017April 25, 2017 Katrina Russell

I recently saw a joke post about a baby being left in the car and some “Good Samaritans” coming along to save him, only to realize that the baby was wearing a competing sports team shirt so they decided to leave the baby. Now, obviously the baby, though crying and not happy about the joke was not in any danger. At the end you realize that it is clearly staged, and I’m not here to talk about this particular post but more about the comments made on the post.

379B032100000578-3760221-image-a-18_1472223973197 Some people were completely horrified that anyone could even jokingly do anything like that to a child. Others found it in severely bad taste as babies are dying almost everyday under the same circumstance, and yet others thought that the neigh-sayers were just “snowflakes” and needed to get a sense of humor.

There is a mentality out there that people are not allowed to be offended by a joke or allowed to take themselves or the joke seriously. Now, clearly no one was hurt in this particular joke, which is why I’m choosing not to comment on these actions, however.. a joke is not always innocent. Sometimes people get hurt.

In the same week I read another story about a pre-teen girl and her friends who played a joke on her 11 year old “boyfriend”. She [posted on her social media page that she was going to kill herself and her friends backed up the joke by saying that she did. The 11 Boys_Suicide_Social_Media_29927-303e8 year old boy was so distraught by the whole situation that in good ole Romeo and Juliet style he ended up actually killing himself.

This is an example of how a joke CAN very easily go to far. It was one thing to start he joke, it was something else to keep it going after the boy was clearly distraught. The girls in question are now being charged in his death… I don’t know how I feel about that, but I am completely disgusted by the adults who have commented on the page more concerned about “why does an 11 year old have a girlfriend?” and “where were the parents? why weren’t they watching him?”

The whole event took place in about a half hour.. it’s COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE for an 11 year old to be in his room alone for that amount of time. As far as watching his social media accounts.. he was on with other kids from his school not the creepy unknown stalkers who parents are trained to look out for.

There was yet another story about an internet meme of an 11 year old girl that turned very bad very quickly and pretty much ruined her life. Most people would say, “what’s the big deal? It’s just a joke.” It’s not a joke.. this is bullying. And it’s the worst kind of bullying, because it’s not even taken seriously. If someone gets assaulted or their lunch money gets stolen then other’s can empathize. They wouldn’t want that to happen to them. If someone is tormented or trolled as a joke then there is no empathy. There is no understanding. There is just more bullying about how the victim has the problem and needs to learn to lighten up.

I could possibly understand this if it’s done to an adult. I understand that by the time we reach adulthood we need to learn that what other’s do or think shouldn’t bother us.. but these two instances are not adults. Most of the time bullying isn’t. And, yes, a joke at someone else’s expense is mean. It’s bullying and it should not be tolerated.

bullying, parenting, Uncategorized

It’s time to fight for ALL women

April 25, 2017 Katrina Russell

635782283761408764-1021982020_Equality-feminism Feminism has a bad rep. Feminists are known as men hating and “anti-feminine”. They are known to tell women that they can’t want to be stay at home moms. They can’t want to get married. They have to be strong, independent and basically asexual. Though they’re allowed to have as much sex as they want and enjoy it.. they can’t be used by men in the process. Not sure if that means that they have to be lesbians or dominatrices.

The point is none of that is feminism. Feminism by definition 1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. or 2: organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests.

It doesn’t even mention that a feminist has to be a woman. Just an idea and/or movement that men and women should be treated equally and have the right to live life the way they want.

I read an interesting blog recently about how women shouldn’t use feminism to “stick it to other women”. In the same sense it shouldn’t be used to put down men. I have a son. He is only four years old but he is sweet and wonderful and has not quite figured out the difference between a boy and a girl. He understands that “mama doesn’t have a winky” but unless he’s looking in everyone’s pants it’s a tough way to explain that to him.

His favorite toys are his dinosaurs, his cars, painting and his doll house and kitchen set. My father once scowled when I bought him his kitchen set. I caught him right before he made the “those are for girls” statement and said, “right, cuz he’ll never have to learn how to cook, right dad?”. Thankfully my father was not a moron and quickly backtracked before he made his stupid comment and said, “yeah, I guess… when you look at it that way”. But what other way is there to look at it. Toys are designed to teach kids how to do thing. There is a Hell of a lot better chance that he is going to cook his own dinner or clean his own house than there is that he’s going to ride on the dinosaur train.

It is important that we teach our children to be good and strong people. It is important for us to teach our children how to respect others and help out when they can and ask for help when they need.

My nephew has been taught that he is not allowed to cry. He’s only 6. Girls are now starting to be taught the same because they can’t be considered the “weaker sex”. Women have to be more like men. They can’t want to stay home. They can’t like wearing cute dresses. They can’t want to have children and be married. Why? Why can’t a woman do what she wants? Isn’t that kind of the point of feminism? To earn the freedom and the opportunity for both sexes to live the way they want? feminist-male-joseph-gordon-levitt

If my son marries a crazy rich and successful woman and chooses to be a stay at home dad… good on him. If they both choose to work…. and they choose a male nanny… have at it. If he chooses to never get married or have kids, I will be sad, as I love children, but I will understand that it’s his choice, and isn’t that what we’re fighting for?

parenting, Uncategorized

It’s called a vagina

April 4, 2017April 1, 2017 Katrina Russell

Panel-1 I can’t believe this is even a thing that I have to deal with. I have a son, and it never occurred to me that this would come up.

When my son was a baby we called his penis his “winky”. It was just a cute name that I didn’t think much about. It’s like calling his toes “tootsies”. I eventually taught him that it was a penis, but in regular conversation we call it a “winky”. Not a big deal.

Then my son was 3. He came in the bathroom with me and for the first time noticed that mama didn’t have a winky. He asked where it was. I explained that girls don’t have them… but then I froze. I didn’t know what else to say. It’s called a vagina. But I couldn’t do it. I was raised in the 80s when that was a dirty word. I felt like saying that to him would be like teaching him a curse word.

It is ridiculous. He was young and just kinda forgot about it. Last week he came in the bathroom after I got out of the shower and he commented on my “butt”. That is what he decided to call my vagina since I never gave him a name for it, and let’s face it.. from his perspective they look the same. He’s never seen inside one.

I feel like this is an example of why women are treated like second class citizens. Men are completely comfortable with their body parts. They are proud of them. Women have been taught that for some reason our parts are dirty or wrong.

In the last year vagina has been in the press along. Our president admitting to “grabbing pussy” when ever he wanted. People started talking about pussy in everyday conversation. But the word “pussy” has a porn connotation. I feel like using that word to describe what he did makes people, especially men, feel like the woman who’s parts he was grabbing was some how asking for it. Men don’t think of their moms and daughters as having pussy. They think of slutty hags as giving their away.

I feel like we need to take our vaginas back, and before I get a bunch of comments about how it’s not called a vagina and only one section of it is, it’s the name that is colloquially known to be the main part. The penis has different parts too, but no one fights about it.

I saw a quote attributed to Betty White, “Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding!”. Now whether or not she actually said it the quote has a point. We are not the weaker sex. We are not dirty. We are not less than.

To quote JK Rowling, “Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” The fact that men have trouble talking about anything female proves the point. We need to use this. We need to talk about ourselves as whole. We shouldn’t hide our femininity. We shouldn’t be ashamed that we have periods. We should hide when we breast feed. We shouldn’t be afraid to use the word vagina. We are women. We give birth to humans. We have no fear.

bullying, Love, parenting, Uncategorized

Who disrespects women the most?

April 2, 2017April 1, 2017 Katrina Russell

I belong to lots of mom facebook groups and follow a lot of mom blogs, and moms.. and women are HORRIBLE to each other. It is ridiculous that we spend so much time trashing each other. I have seen comment after comment on posts about a woman who actually lost a child and women, OTHER MOMS bash the grieving mom.

I’ve seen moms who are “brave enough” to post real postpartum pictures of themselves and u3e7a other moms laugh at them and point out their flaws. Really? The fact that the woman posting pictures have to feel brave is ridiculous! Our bodies are amazing! Our bodies can create another human-being. And I’m not just talking to moms. You don’t have to have children to be amazing, but it seems that moms tend to be the biggest bullies.

That sentence hurt to write. We are raising kids. We are raising new people who are going to grow up and be (hopefully) functional members of society. We read about children who bully other kids and the first thing moms say is, “Where were their parents? What is wrong with these people? They should have their kids taken away… They should go to jail.” Judgement! Judgement! Judgement! Those moms who are judging other parents for teaching bulling are being bullies themselves.

In the last year women have come out of the woodwork with marches and petitions and new groups. There is a whole new women’s movement which is blaming men for not treating women well and not respecting women as people… then they go onto social media and berate other women. Maybe we should look in the mirror before we start blaming other groups for our being held back.

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard women say that they don’t like being friends with other women because they are so catty. They don’t want to hire other women because they are HungerGamesKatnissBowArrow so bossy. They hate women. Why should we expect men to feel otherwise? Women feel the need to be better than other women. We feel like we can’t put another woman up without putting ourselves down. Men have figured out recreational competition. They fight to win, but give credit when beaten. They understand keeping other strong men around them and working as a team and using them to grow. Women are somehow stuck in the stone age where they have to fight for the hunter to supply their food… we need to learn to hunt for ourselves.