Politics, Uncategorized

Should grandpa get a vote?

In a surprising turn of events President Trump signed yet another executive order. I know.. you’d think he wasn’t able to play well with others the way he’s not able to actually work within the other branches of government. Congress won’t approve… sign an executive order… judges find it unconstitutional… call them out for being un-American. The media reports it all… call them fake… and mean. Seriously, he thinks people are being mean to him.

download (33)So of course he has to make sure that all the mean people can’t stop him from doing his job. He has to fire anyone that says something against him. He has to fire anyone investigating him. And now he’s signed an executive order to make sure that all the mean voters that don’t like that he’s taking away their meals on wheels, Medicare, and PBS don’t have a chance to retaliate by voting him and his cronies out of office.

He’s set up a new commission to figure out how to make sure as few elderly, disabled and poor can vote. If anyone has to jump through hoops to get registered.. it certainly going to be grandma with a bad hip.

The Republicans are, as usual, singing his praises… “How could even the Liberals be against stopping voter fraud?”. No one is against voter fraud. Which is why the few people who were caught attempting voter fraud were punished.. they just happened to be Trump supporters.

What we are opposed to is setting up arbitrary rules about checking IDs on grandpa who fought in WWII, but hasn’t driven since the Bush administration. Apparently those vets aren’t American enough to get a say in the today’s government. If he wants to set up rulesimages (23) about valid IDs being needed for voting… then set up another commission that goes to every nursing home, every hospital, every veterans house, every homeless shelter and makes sure they all have IDs.. then show up again on voting day… send out buses, set up ballots in the homes… and take their votes… or are they too mean for you?

Uncategorized

I am your coach, not your mother

One of the biggest problems that I’ve come across in my coaching career is clients not wanting to do the work. For some reason clients, and even friends and family members think that as a coach it is my job to somehow “fix” them or make them feel better.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my goal as a coach is to help you to feel stronger, more confident, more in control of your life, and ultimately happy and successful, but I don’t make you feel any of those thing. This whole process is completely in your hands.

I have a friend who has been having trouble getting and keeping jobs. He works mostly download (31)with temp agencies, which by definition are not permanent or even long term jobs, but whenever his contract ends he feels deflated and useless. When I talk to him about his next options and what he wants to do about it and how it’s his call on how he handles things.. his response is, “And you’re a life coach.. do you just berate all of your clients?”. I find it almost humorous that people equate life coaches with cheerleaders or a shoulder to cry on or someone that is going to bring the ice cream to the pity party.

I am a coach. I coach people. You can take the advice or leave it, but it is your job to do the work. I make that very clear when I start the process. If I were a basketball coach and
my team member kept missing his/her free throws I wouldn’t pat them on the back, tell them that I know life is hard and understand why they want to quit. I wouldn’t stand in for them and take the shot every time. I would tell them to get off their ass and practice till they can’t see anymore. This is expected of a coach.

I have had clients with depression who have told me that they feel more a peace when they get fresh air.. I give them an exercise of going for a walk everyday.. even just 15 mins… “no.. isn’t there something you can do?”. I have clients who want to make career changes and I ask them to take a Meyers Brigs test to see what may fit with their download (32)personality and needs… nope… And it’s not just my practice. I am in a grief counseling group at my church. These are people who have lost a loved one and keep everything bottled in. The facilitator recommend we write a letter to the loved ones so we can get some of the garbage out.. “no, I’m not gonna do that”.

I understand that not every exercise is right for every person and that some people may or may not feel comfortable doing certain things… and I’m willing to talk about that as well. But part of being successful and moving forward is making changes and stepping outside your comfort zone. That’s the only way to see real and permanent results.

bullying, parenting, Uncategorized

If we don’t help our kids who will?

When did childhood suicide become so prevalent that it needed new and more research to track the reasons why? When did life get so bad for 5 year old’s that they are actually part of this research group? And what the Hell are we going to do about it?

As you may have guessed new research has come out about teen suicides and suicidal thoughts, This research says, surprise, surprise, that most of this happens during the download (30)school year. You know, when they are supposedly surrounded by their friends and peers. When they spend the day with child development professionals and have access to child  therapists in the same building.

Yes, this is when most kids want to kill themselves. Not when they are home during the summers with their parents. This is not a case of abuse at home, or am underlying depression that seeps in.. this is torment, ridicule, and then victim blaming on top of it all.

Now, I know that bullying is almost a right of passage. It’s cliche that the big kid in school will beat up the smaller ones for lunch money. It’s almost a learning experience on both sides to figure out how to work this out. Bart Simpson befriended Nelson, and Ralphy kicked the crap out of Scut Farkus, and things were handled.

That was normal growing pains bullying that has occurred for as long as their have been kids. Now there is the internet. Now bullying is public and permanent. A 15 year old had cheerleader “friends” take video of her in the shower and posted it on social media.. that is not a little joke.. that is grotesque.. and illegal.. as she was under 18. Were the cheerleaders punished? Nope, no one wanted to ruin camp. On top of that they used the coach’s phone to take the video and the coach told her to apologize to the bullies for making a big deal about the joke.. guess what? That’s an accomplice to a felony of child endangerment and child porn. Did the school later back the child… nope… they wouldn’t even give her her transfer records, so she could leavdownload (29)e the school, unless she absolved them of any wrong doing.

Things like this are happening everyday and even when we teach our children to stand up to their bullies they are the ones being punished. I could only imagine if she decided to give them a good punch in the nose.  We as parents, and human beings, have to stop marginalizing abuse. We have to stop glorifying bullies and crappy behavior. We have to start setting a good example and teaching our children, not only to stand up for themselves, but that we have their backs… or we’ll end up burying the whole of them.

 

 

 

Politics, Uncategorized

Why being raped is a pre-existing condition

So the GOP House passed a new health care plan.. without reading it or really thinking it through. They have decided that people pre-existing conditions should be put in a separate pool in which they should be charged more. Of course the point of insurance is to get the healthy people in the same pool as the sick people to keep all of their costs similar, but of course the right-wing Conservative Christians feel they should never help their neighbors but should hoard all of their money and let other’s fend for themselves.

Now, if the Senate passes the proposal, pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition. Their response of course is that women should keep their legs closed if they can’t afford -PAXP-deijErape-victiminsurance. So, then the question is asked, “What if a woman is raped?” God knows they can’t get an abortion. So they are forced to pay thousands of dollars, get into severe debt, either with the high premiums or the cost of prenatal and delivery… let’s not even get started on if she needs a c-section or there are complications.

Ok, so in this case a rape survivor would be screwed again by the GOP healthcare plan… but what’s the chances of pregnancy… it’s not gonna happen any other way. Well, I saw a video online about a woman who was raped in her own bed… with her young daughter was laying next to her… they are now in therapy. Well, mental health issues (including PTSD) is also considered a pre-existing condition. So she will now be placed in the high money pool and have higher premiums and deductibles.

Now, let’s talk about those who may have contracted HIV or PPV or any of the 100s of other sexually transmitted diseases, by no fault of their own. Or those who developed a substance abuse problem because of the trauma. Or those who were physically hurt permanently by their attacker….. but no… it doesn’t affect rape victims.

I’m not even going to get into the medicare problem… poor women and children don’t deserve healthcare anyway… GO PRO-LIFE!

Love, parenting, Uncategorized

The day my dad died I knew I had to change my life or I’d be joining him.

Today would have been my dad’s 68th birthday. It’s still hard to believe that he is gone. He was the strongest, hardest working, most amazing father I could have ever asked for. He was a single dad in a time when that was barely heard of.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s with only a father at home always came with questions walk with papaand weird looks, but I never questioned how much I was loved. He went through Hell and back to get and keep us. He was a very strong role model and always made it very clear that my brother and I could do anything we set our minds to. He was also the one that always had our backs. You don’t know how many middle of the night phone calls he received from one of us about a car issue, and he would show up blurry eyed with jumper cables or a jack. I finally repaid him in kind by getting us both AAA.

I remember my first semi-formal and him him teaching me the basic waltz box step. He took me to dance and gymnastics classes, he was there at my school plays even when he would have to split his time between my play and my brother’s band concert. He taught 392491_10150846116491602_1468107945_nme to throw a spiral and the correct way to throw a punch. He taught me to pump gas and was extremely annoyed when I boycotted learning how to change a tire. Not only because he knew that there would be more late night phone calls, but because he wanted me to be a strong independent person.

When my son was born we were living with him. He had developed very severe diabetes and it had led to even more complications, like stroke, heart disease, and kidney disease. There was many a time that I had to call 911 because he had fallen asleep without eating, or his potassium levels were off, but he was always there for my son and me.

One time, when my son was very small, about 3 months old I was exhausted, up in my room and Jason was just screaming. For those of you that are parents, you know this scream. The one with no answers, they just seem to like the sound of their own 17923_10151515250461602_1693194054_nfrustration. I was trying to feed him, walk with him, rocking him… there was nothing that I could do. The next thing I know, there is my dad walking in and taking my son from me. He just looked at me and said, “You need a nap. This isn’t doing anyone any good.” I was so relieved I’m pretty sure I started crying. My dad bounced with my son for a few seconds and made a shush sound in his ear and the boy was silent. He took him downstairs and I was able to get a couple of minutes of uninterrupted sleep.

As my son got older he loved playing with his Papa. They would do puzzles and go for walks in the woods. My dad introduced him to Doctor Who… though I love the show, I10431699_10153188932531602_1785562601473633197_n was not thrilled that my 20 month old was asking for screen time for the first time. But looking back I am glad that they had that. Five months later my father would be gone.

The morning that I found him was the worth day of my life. I still have nightmares and a giant empty gap where his talks and laughter used to fill. My father was the one person in my life that I could always count on. He was the one person in my life that I knew my son could count on other than me. Then one night he had an early dinner and forgot to have a snack before bed. His blood sugar dropped in the middle of the night and he never woke up.

As far as ways to go, I guess it wasn’t so bad for him, but for me…. it was horrific. I wasn’t even 40 years old, he was just 65, and my son had only been 2 for one month. All I kept thinking is how my son wouldn’t remember him. My father wouldn’t know the person that baby would grow into. The 2 most important males in my life would never really know each other.

My father was an amazing role model. He taught me so much. Except the correct eating habits. Had he been more careful things would have been very different. Both my 15672770_10154884223646602_4941319554659479612_n (2)brother and I were raised predominantly on fast food. My dad was young, single and a business owner. He was tired of fighting with kids about eating, so he went the easy route. Both my brother and I ended up with horrible habits, and both with weight issues up and down.

Since having my son, and since my father’s death my goal has been to become the most healthy version of myself and to raise the most healthy version of my son. I don’t want to leave him unexpectedly in the middle of the night, and I don’t want him to contend with the struggles of learning new habits later.

I have taken to Integrative Wellness and Life Coaching, because through my life and my struggles I have found that eating habits and wellness has less to do with knowing the right foods to eat or the right exercises to firm up your butt. There are 1000 books, websites, videos… top 10 lists that can educate you on that.. and let’s face it, everyone knows you should eat kale over pizza.

True Wellness in life is about having the right mind set. Wanting to be the best more healthy version of oneself for the richest most fulfilled life. Getting to know your grand kids will feel much better than eating that cake, but unless we change our priorities and our lifestyle, we’ll just be on a yo-yo of life.. with no idea when it could drop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Politics, Uncategorized

Let’s drop the labels and have real conversations

I posted on my Facebook account this morning: Conversions with Republicans online: “I’m sorry there are starving children all over the world but we need to worry about the ones here.” The next breath, “Why should I have to pay for welfare or education? This is America, get a job you lazy bum.”

I have a friend who considers herself a republican comment that she believes that poor Americans should be taken care of and that she spends a lot of time volunteering. I have downloadknown this woman most of my life and know that she is a good person. I was not talking about her. I was not speaking of people who vote republican for the most part. I was speaking of the actual politicians. The people’s whose jobs are to be Republicans.

I feel that their needs to be a distinction. I, personally, am an Independent. I vote for people and ideas not a political affiliation, and I think that’s the biggest issue that we have in politics right now. There is no longer any compromise. There is an “us vs them” mentality.

This is used for everything in politics, race, sex, income level, everything is designed to keep us blaming and fighting each other. I have spoken to this person before and she believes that Welfare is just a big scam. That there is more fraud going on than actual Budget_pie_chart_memepeople who need it because the rich Republicans blame the “foreigners” for tax increases.  When in reality only about 3% of federal taxes go to welfare and only about 3% of all recipients have been found committing fraud, but if the rich politicians say that most of the middle classes taxes go towards paying for wars, and government officials and their benefits they would never get reelected.

Most people want to help the hungry and the destitute. Most people would give to the poor or take in the refugee once they got to know the person. The problem is with labels there are no individuals. There are only Muslims, Mexicans, Illegals, Republicans, Democrats, men, women … anyone different than me.

Love, Uncategorized

I am what I am and that’s all that I am

If someone were to ask you, “Who are you?” what would you say?. Most people would respond in a way that either names them or describes them physically. “I am Katrina Russell… I am a woman.I am white.  I have blonde hair, for the moment. I am a mom. I 14212101_10154513746826602_2633315358266144094_nam a Life Coach, Blogger, and Public Speaker.” But those are things that I do. Those are ways that I look. That is not WHO I AM.

Who I am is the being, entity, soul, energy, which ever word you feel comfortable with, that lives inside this body. That chooses to do those things. We get so caught up in being judged for who we are that we forget who we are.

My son is four years old. He loves to see pictures of himself and announce to the world that he is “Jason”. He feels very connected to that name, but four years ago it was just a jumbles of sounds that I made that had no relevance to him. He would see himself in the mirror and not know that it was him looking back. He had an immense sense of self, without even knowing his own name.

No one told him who he was when he was born. He knew who he was. That was the only thing that he knew. He had no idea that I was his mama, just that I was there to feed him and smooch him and give him the things that he… as a being wanted and needed.

I look at him now and he has no opinions on the clothes he wears for the most part, as long as he’s not cold or hot. Though he did just pick out his own sneakers for the first time, so he knows what he likes, but doesn’t think about how they look on him as a body. He dances like a freak and laughs and smiles all the while. He doesn’t feel judgement about his movements. He doesn’t worry what other’s think. He is him.

When I think about who I am, sure I am all those things above, but I am all of those things because of genetic accident or someone’s choice. Even my name, though lovely was a choice. We don’t feel like it was. We are our names for as long as we can remember and had no choice in the matter, but someone did. Our parents, guardians, whomever signed the certificate. It was just another choice.

When I think about who I am. I am not tall, I am not a good driver, I am not a fan of Doctor Who…. those are things that I do. When I think about who I am I am strong, I am smart, I am loving, I am an eternal light that knows no bounds. And so are you.

Uncategorized

How women’s rights stack up in religion

Sharia Law has been in the news for years. It’s been a hot topic in politics. An excuse to go to war. An excuse to ban refugees. Sharia Law has become a catch all to what is wrong with those who worship differently than us.

There has been a whole movement from the alt-right media proclaiming that a vote for download (24)Obama or a vote for Hilary is a vote for Sharia Law and that women won’t be safe. That women will lose their God given rights if those “evil Muslims” come to this country. They will be raping women in the streets and murdering anyone who opposes them.

I mean the horror! Could you imagine being a woman in this country and not feeling comfortable walking down a dark street at night by yourself… or even with a couple of girlfriends? Could you imagine if, God forbid, you were raped and no one believed you because why would a woman be dressing like that or talking to a man alone? Could you imagine being told not to talk because as a woman you should be seen and not heard? Could you imagine not being able to get certain jobs or if you did being told that you should make less money because your job should be to care for your husband and have babies? It’s unimaginable!

As a society we are great at pointing out other’s flaws without actually looking in the mirror. Perhaps we’ve all watched too many Superman movies and believe that our glass houses are actually made out of Kryptonian crystals and that we are Godlike in them.

Here is a list of Sharia Laws about women.

According to Sharia law:
• A non-Muslim man who marries a Muslim woman is punishable by death.
• A man can marry an infant girl and consummate the marriage when she is 9 years old.
• Girls’ clitoris should be cut (Muhammad’s words, Book 41, Kitab Al-Adab, Hadith 5251).
• A woman can have 1 husband, who can have up to 4 wives; Muhammad can have more.
• A man can beat his wife for insubordination (see Religion of Peace).
• A man can unilaterally divorce his wife; a woman needs her husband’s consent to divorce.
• A divorced wife loses custody of all children over 6 years of age or when they exceed it.
• Testimonies of four male witnesses are required to prove rape against a woman.
• A woman who has been raped cannot testify in court against her rapist(s).
• A woman’s testimony in court, allowed in property cases, carries ½ the weight of a man’s.
• A female heir inherits half of what a male heir inherits (see Errors in Quran).
• A woman cannot drive a car, as it leads to fitnah (upheaval).
• A woman cannot speak alone to a man who is not her husband or relative.

Now I’m not going to lie, some of these are horrendous! But this book was written thousands of years ago. Just like the Bible. It was only a couple hundred years ago that girls as young as 12 or 13 were getting married. Shakespeare’s Juliet was about that age. Women were considered property. They first belonged to their fathers then their husbands. They received no inheritance. They could not own land. In this country they haven’t even been able to vote for 100 years yet.

Christianity has a Mormon sect in which men can take more than one bride, and we
watch them on TV. College guys are getting off… no pun intended… for raping women stanford-rapist-brock-turnerbecause “a 20 minute mistake shouldn’t ruin his life.”

There was a hash tag recently #thingsonlychristianwomenhear and most of it was to be expected. Women are here to serve their man. Gee, you’re smart for a women. Up to and including a Pastor asking a husband if he can give the man’s wife a hug. Even our Vice President won’t share a meal with a woman unless his wife is present. The same media that perpetuates how disturbing Sharia Law is the same media that say things like, “Shut up and no your place.” to female co-workers.

Now I’m not saying that we should ignore people who commit crimes by our legal definitions. Beating their wives, having sex with 9 year olds. Clearly those things are wrong and quite frankly disgusting. But just because a book says these things to be true, doesn’t mean ALL Muslims practice them. Just like not ALL Christian men don’t believe:

  1. A wife is a man’s property: You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. Exodus 20:17
  2. Daughters can be bought and sold: If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do. Exodus 21:7
  3. A raped daughter can be sold to her rapist: 28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. Deuteronomy 22:28-29
  4. Collecting wives and sex slaves is a sign of status: He [Solomon] had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. 1 Kin5764787_origgs 11:3
  5. Used brides deserve death: If, however the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. Deuteronomy 22:20-21.
  6. Women, but only virgins, are to be taken as spoils of war: Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, 18 but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man. Numbers 31:17-18
  7. Menstruating women are spiritually unclean: 19 “‘When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening. 20 “‘Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean. 21 Anyone who touches her bed will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening. 22 Anyone who touches anything she sits on will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, . . . 30 The priest is to sacrifice one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. In this way he will make atonement for her before the LORD for the uncleanness of her discharge. 31 “‘You must keep the Israelites separate from things that make them unclean, so they will not die in their uncleanness for defiling my dwelling place,[a] which is among them.’” Leviticus 15: 19-31
  8. A woman is twice as unclean after giving birth to girl as to a boy: A woman who becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son will be ceremonially unclean for seven days, just as she is unclean during her monthly period. ‘ 3 On the eighth day the boy is to be circumcised. 4 Then the woman must wait thirty-three days to be purified from her bleeding. She must not touch anything sacred or go to the sanctuary until the days of her purification are over. 5 If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding. 6 ” ‘When the days of her purification for a son or daughter are over, she is to bring to the priest at the entrance to the tent of meeting a year-old lamb for a burnt offering and a young pigeon or a dove for a sin offering. Leviticus 12: 1-8
  9. A woman’s promise is binding only if her father or husband agrees: 2 When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said. 3 “When a young woman still living in her father’s household makes a vow to the LORD or obligates herself by a pledge 4 and her father hears about her vow or pledge but says nothing to her, then all her vows and every pledge by which she obligated herself will stand. 5 But if her father forbids her when he hears about it, none of her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand; the LORD will release her because her father has forbidden her. . . . . A woman’s vow is meaningless unless approved by her husband or father. But if her husband nullifies them when he hears about them, then none of the vows or pledges that came from her lips will stand. Her husband has nullified them, and the LORD will release her. 13 Her husband may confirm or nullify any vow she makes or any sworn pledge to deny herself. Numbers 30:1-16
  10. Women should be seen not heard: Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. 1 Corinthians 14:34
  11. Wives should submit to their husband’s instructions and desires: Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18
  12. In case you missed that submission thing . . . :  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24.
  13. More submission – and childbearing as a form of atonement: A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. 1 Timothy 2: 11-15
  14. Women were created for men: For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head. 7 A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 1 Corinthians 11:2-10
  15. Sleeping with women is dirty: No one could learn the song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth. 4 These are those who did not defile themselves with women, for they remained virgins. They follow the Lamb wherever he goes. They were purchased from among mankind and offered as first-fruits to God and the Lamb. Revelation 14:3-4

download (25)If we are going to hold all people responsible for all of what their religion says, then let’s start locking up Christian men as well. Or we could understand that people are individuals. As society we have grown since these books were written, and as people we have a mind to decide for ourselves what is right and what is wrong. Personally I see a lot of wrong in our own society we don’t need to go looking for the Devil in others.

Uncategorized

Are you choosing weight-loss over health?

There is a new diet out every other day to help you lose unwanted fat and become beautiful and desirable.. and so on. If you cut this and eat only that you will drop weight by the ton, but is it actually healthy?

I follow a wonderful fitness “expert” who was giving advice about getting rid of cellulite. I’ve heard this before, but she swears by it. Cut the sugar.. eat more fat. Sugar is a crazy download (22)killer and it has been proven over and over. Sugar causes heart disease and diabetes and all the things that you’ve heard, but too much fat can be dangerous too.

She posted that instead of eating oatmeal and fruit that it’s better to eat eggs and avocados for breakfast. Oatmeal… even plain with fruit is nothing but sugar. I remember reading that years ago and I started it straight away.  I lost a bit of weight pretty quickly, and then my cholesterol skyrocketed. I commented to her about this and she told me to check out some random book about how to eat fats more healthily.. and I get that. There are different fats that do different things. But there is also one other major difference. She is in her 20s.. I am in my 40s. I have a thyroid condition. I have been over weight for like a decade, she put on some weight after having a baby and took it straight off.

We are all different. We are not one size fits all. All of our bodies breakdown food differently.  download (21)It’s time we make real educated decisions about our health instead of superficial decisions about what will make our butt look best on the beach? Every new exercise program says right in the beginning, “Check with your doctor before starting”. There are nutritionists for a reason.  Years ago I was a vegetarian for 3 years.. I got more and more sick. I went to a nutritionist who told me that I just needed to eat chicken. Not the best advice for a vegetarian, but the idea was there… I needed more protein.

A healthy weight is very important for our bodies, but how we maintain the weight is more important for how we actually live. A nice butt is just a perk.

 

 

bullying, Love, parenting, Uncategorized

When does the joke cross the line?

I recently saw a joke post about a baby being left in the car and some “Good Samaritans” coming along to save him, only to realize that the baby was wearing a competing sports team shirt so they decided to leave the baby. Now, obviously the baby, though crying and not happy about the joke was not in any danger. At the end you realize that it is clearly staged, and I’m not here to talk about this particular post but more about the comments made on the post.

379B032100000578-3760221-image-a-18_1472223973197Some people were completely horrified that anyone could even jokingly do anything like that to a child. Others found it in severely bad taste as babies are dying almost everyday under the same circumstance, and yet others thought that the neigh-sayers were just “snowflakes” and needed to get a sense of humor.

There is a mentality out there that people are not allowed to be offended by a joke or allowed to take themselves or the joke seriously. Now, clearly no one was hurt in this particular joke, which is why I’m choosing not to comment on these actions, however.. a joke is not always innocent. Sometimes people get hurt.

In the same week I read another story about a pre-teen girl and her friends who played a joke on her 11 year old “boyfriend”. She [posted on her social media page that she was going to kill herself and her friends backed up the joke by saying that she did. The 11 Boys_Suicide_Social_Media_29927-303e8year old boy was so distraught by the whole situation that in good ole Romeo and Juliet style he ended up actually killing himself.

This is an example of how a joke CAN very easily go to far. It was one thing to start he joke, it was something else to keep it going after the boy was clearly distraught. The girls in question are now being charged in his death… I don’t know how I feel about that, but I am completely disgusted by the adults who have commented on the page more concerned about “why does an 11 year old have a girlfriend?” and “where were the parents? why weren’t they watching him?”

The whole event took place in about a half hour.. it’s COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE for an 11 year old to be in his room alone for that amount of time. As far as watching his social media accounts.. he was on with other kids from his school not the creepy unknown stalkers who parents are trained to look out for.

There was yet another story about an internet meme of an 11 year old girl that turned very bad very quickly and pretty much ruined her life. Most people would say, “what’s the big deal? It’s just a joke.” It’s not a joke.. this is bullying. And it’s the worst kind of bullying, because it’s not even taken seriously. If someone gets assaulted or their lunch money gets stolen then other’s can empathize. They wouldn’t want that to happen to them. If someone is tormented or trolled as a joke then there is no empathy. There is no understanding. There is just more bullying about how the victim has the problem and needs to learn to lighten up.

I could possibly understand this if it’s done to an adult. I understand that by the time we reach adulthood we need to learn that what other’s do or think shouldn’t bother us.. but these two instances are not adults. Most of the time bullying isn’t. And, yes, a joke at someone else’s expense is mean. It’s bullying and it should not be tolerated.