Love – Page 8 – Katrina Michelle Russell

Who is creating your life?

July 13, 2017 Katrina Russell

Everyday we make choices. Some of them are based on wants. Some of them are based on fears. Some of them are based on ease, but most of them are based on someone’s idea of what should happen. The question is whose ideas are running your life.

I’m one of those ridiculous people that love the Facebook quizzes like, “Who were you in a past life?” or “What song defines you?” I think they are just fun to see what questions the creator bases it on and what kinds of things are said afterwards.

One of these came up with something along the lines of “You’re an independent spirit” and a friend of mine responded with “you have always lived your life on your own terms”. I found this to be a great compliment. I don’t know how many people who live miserable lives, complaining all the time because they are doing what is expected, or because it would be too difficult to change.

I can’t understand this concept. You have repeatedly said that your life sucks… how could making changes make things worse? Now I’m not saying if you hate your job that you should just up and quit. Obviously you have bills and responsibilities.. but let’s be honest, most people aren’t doing anything that they are even slightly interested in. They spend years working way too many hours just to make enough to get by. However, if they just decided to take a little chance.. and work a little harder for a small amount of time they could learn something new.. make new connections.. and basically create an entirely new life for themselves.

I have another friend.. a young woman, and single mom, she worked retail and was working her way up to management. She liked her job, but hated the hours. She constantly had to get a babysitter and never got enough time with her son. She knew it would only get worse. She finally decided that she deserved more. She took a class and got a certificate in medical transcription. She’s making more money and what’s even better she has a job with normal hours. She can now work around her son’s schedule and spend more time with him.

This may not be your idea of an ideal job, and in a few years she may decide that it’s not her’s either, but the important thing about this story is that she now knows that she is capable of more. She is capable of accomplishing what she puts her mind to. She can put her son first, and she doesn’t have to wait till he’s old enough.. or put her life on hold out of fear that if she fails then what? It wasn’t easy and there were a lot of long nights.. but now she’s happier and more secure than she was before she started… and her son isn’t even in kindergarten yet.

Fear is debilitating. Blame is easy. Almost everyone has someone else to blame. If you are in your 30s or 40s and still mad at your parents for not supporting your going to college it’s time to look in the mirror. Now that’s not to say that financial success is the only goal to aim for. I quit college in my 20s and had to go back to finish my degree, and it took me almost a decade longer. I did this to help take care of my God daughters.. and I wouldn’t have changed that for anything. I still had jobs that I loved and still managed to pay the bills, but helping to raise my God daughters was MY choice. I can’t blame their mother for her issues. I can’t blame the kids for needing someone. I can only take responsibility for my own actions, and I made my choice based on my priorities.

Don’t get me wrong, I have made plenty of mistakes; I can’t and won’t deny that, but they were my mistakes. And the best part of understanding that they are my mistakes is understanding that it gives me the power to make better choices in the future, and I don’t have to depend on someone else to fix me.

Love, parenting, Uncategorized

Are you creating the life you want or the life you fear?

July 3, 2017April 5, 2024 Katrina Russell

I recently had one of those “Timehop” posts come up. It was a quote from my dad right before he was about to go into surgery. I was worried… as any good daughter would be and saying that anything could happen when he’s under. He responded, “You’re right, anything can happen, and if you’re going to imagine things happening. Imagine good things.”. I loved that quote. That was so him. Most of the time, that is so me.

We are what we imagine that we are. There is a quote “Worrying is praying for things you don’t want to happen.”, and it’s so true. We spend so much time in our heads imagining what we want. What we don’t want. What we’re afraid of. What we long for. We get them all mixed up and eventually we put all our effort into thinking about things that we hope never happen.

Now the Law of Attraction say that if we concentrate on bad things that we can make them happen. The law of averages says that if we wait long enough something bad will happen. My law is, why waist one second thinking about things you don’t want when there are soooo many things out there that you do.

Let’s say that you spend your days worried that your spouse is cheating on you, and what will you do if he leaves you because you can’t afford things on your own… and OMG you’re getting fat…. well, now you’re consumed by this. You get depressed you eat more. You can’t concentrate on work. You lose your job. You’re a miserable person and your spouse leaves you and you say “SEE! Bad things always happen”.

Did the law of attraction make that happen? Did the law of consequences? Did the law of averages? Now… same person… doesn’t fret about the relationship and enjoys the time with the partner.. and the time by herself. She excels at work. She joins a health program like a gym, meditation or cooking class. She actually enjoys her life. Then she finds out she had all that free time because the spouse was cheating… Ok .. that sucks! But she has way more going on in her own life to keep her going. She has friends, and hobbies, and a fulfilling career and it’s not, “See, bad things always happens.” It’s, “Wow, what an arse.. I deserve better.” And that’s exactly what she get.

Love, parenting, Uncategorized

What’s your excuse?

June 1, 2017 Katrina Russell

We all have them? What’s your excuse for not doing what ever it is that you want so desperately to do? What is your excuse for not asking for the raise, for not asking out that hottie, for not losing the weight, for not being happy?

My weight was always my excuse in the past. It was much easier to blame my failures on a specific almost external problem. If I was just fit then… what ever would happen. I would find love. I could get a better job. I could…. whatever. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my brains, my “real” looks, my ambition. It was just that I was overweight, and as soon as I got in shape my world would be great… I just had other things that took priority over losing weight. I can always do that later.

Then the new excuses start. I have to work. I have school. I have kids.. I have pizza parties. There is always an excuse. The problem is that we don’t actually have an unlimited amount of time to change. We have to make the decisions in our life that will accomplish the goal we desire.

We have to go for the job. We have to ask out the hottie. We have to lose the weight. That takes actual work. I’m asked all the time how I’ve lost weight, as if there’s some trick that I’m hiding from them. I tell them I just eat healthier and exercise more. “UGH… never mind”. Now if I said that I took a magic pill then they would run to the store and try it. But that’s the thing. There is no magic pill. There’s no get rich quick scheme. There’s no love potion. All there is is determination and focus.

There is the decision to change your life. The plan to make it happen and the follow-through to make it to the end. No one has ever made a difference by half-assing. Now one has ever won an Olympic medal by practicing on the weekends. No marriage has ever lasted by ignoring the problems. No company has every become a success by taking too many breaks.

We have to make the big changes. We have to become the person that is… whatever we want to be. We have to develop the habits of the successful person… and we can’t let our excuses rule our destiny.

bullying, Love, parenting, Politics, Uncategorized

When did it become OK to push people?

May 30, 2017 Katrina Russell

It’s been all over the news and I’m sure you’ve seen it, but when did it become OK to push people… any people… out of your way? I couldn’t imagine pushing someone out of my way for any reason (aside from my child being in danger).

Who decided that some have the RIGHT to be “Better” than others? Who decided that some have the RIGHT to toss other’s aside like yesterday’s news? I have a four year old and I have spent the last 3.5 years teaching him to respect other people. To say please and thank you. To say sorry. To “mind his manners”. Did no one bother to do that with THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?

This behavior is just disgusting. This should not be seen among actual grown-up people. This is behavior that would get reprimanded on the school yard, and yet even the man who was pushed was making excuses that “It is natural that the president of the United States is in the front row.” OK, maybe that’s true. Maybe the President of the larger nations should be up in the front for pictures, but does that excuse a PUSH?

Does the President of the United States not have to say, “Excuse me”? Or wait his turn?

There was another few videos circulating this weekend with Trump and Macron, whom I’m starting to adore… both involving handshakes. One was in a one on one meeting, the other in a large group meet and greet, in which Macron side steps Trump to greet Merkel first.

Both Macron and Merkel have since come out and discussed their feelings about Trump. Macron explained that the handshake “battle” was very intentional and that you have to put a bully in his place, and Merkel announced to the world that the US is no longer someone to depend on. And let’s not forget the UK is skeptical about sharing classified information with the US now. And the Israeli’s are pissed about Russia.

Is there anyone that Trump hasn’t offended, belittled, or betrayed? Any why is this so acceptable? Why is it that the F**king President of the United States is still being heralded for being a callus bully? And why would anyone be OK with their children growing up to think that he is something to aspire to be?

Love, Uncategorized

The Law of Attraction explained in real terms

May 25, 2017May 23, 2017 Katrina Russell

Some people don’t like the idea of the “Law of Attraction”. They feel that it seems to woo woo crazy and supernatural.. but I have a question. If I just said the phrase, “You accomplish what you work on” would you think that crazy? The Law of Attraction is all about creating what you think about. Now you can think of it in terms of energy cycles if you choose or you can think of it in terms of tangible things that you work on.

Let’s say there were two people interviewing for the same position. The fist person walked into the interview and said, “I love this company. I have researched it. I love your business plan and have many great ideas as to how I can help you achieve those plans.” The other person walked in and said, “I really need a job. How much does this pay and what are the hours?” Which person do you think will get the job.

This is sort of an example of The Law of Attraction. You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want. Let’s say you have one person who really wants to be rich. They will do anything to be rich. They try all the get rich quick schemes. They invest in project after project waiting for their big break. The other person really wants to be rich and takes a look at all the people around him that are rich and finds one that does or is close to what he wants to do or be. He starts to learn everything that he can about that person, that field, and becomes an expert. Which one do you think is more likely to get rich.

When my father was alive it used to drive him crazy when I would say that I was tired. He would respond, “Of course you are. You keep telling yourself that you are” and it’s true. It’s a form or brainwashing. We concentrate really hard on many things in life. Some good, some bad, and the things that we concentrate on are the things that we accomplish. This is not magic. This is common sense.

So instead of concentrating on all the reasons why we can’t do things. Why things are so hard and things are so impossible to accomplish. We should look to the people who have already accomplished those things.. and learn from them. It can be done.

Love, Politics, Uncategorized

Feminism creates Supergirls

May 23, 2017 Katrina Russell

Supergirl…. the epitome of girl power in my opinion (sorry Wonder Woman) is now on the CW, and it is hitting all the demographics and is extremely political… if you haven’t seen it I highly recommend checking it out. It is based on a different Earth where illegal aliens have a whole different meaning.. but the message is the same. Most are innocent, and most are good.

This last episode was quite interesting in not only the refugee topic but in women’s issues as well. The president of that United States is payed by Lynda Carter (see Wonder Woman). A female who, coincidentally is also an illegal alien. The flip of the script, however, is that she is all about protecting her new planet from actual HOSTILE aliens, and understands the difference.

In this last episode a bad girl alien is out to take over the planet… and yada yada yada, and she and her old pal, Cat Grant, (the media mogul that Supergirl works for) actually try to TALK to this women.

Cat Grant actually says straight out that they are women, and have no need to “lay it out and measure it”. That they are capable of handling things in a much more civilized manner. That it is the day of the women, and even references the T-Shirts. I, personally, love Cat Grant and all of the strong women on this show. The lead agent is not a man, but Supergirl’s sister (adopted). The lead cop is also a woman. There is no Lex Luthor, the main Luthors are his mother and sister. This show is all about girl power and kicking ass with compassion.

That being said, they also have strong male characters. When the show starts we join Kara (Supergirl) and her two best friends James and Winn who are there to support her. But they don’t just live in the background. They become their own super-heroes in their own way.

Though the series starts with Supergirl feeling less than to her super cousin, Superman, she gets the support that she needs from her female boss (Miss Grant), her sister, and even Lena Luthor. They don’t back stab. They don’t betray. They don’t throw each other under the bus… which would be pointless in the case of Supergirl I guess. It’s interesting to see that it takes a show about an alternate universe to give credence to feminism and equality.

Love, parenting, Uncategorized

The day my dad died I knew I had to change my life or I’d be joining him.

May 8, 2017May 6, 2017 Katrina Russell

Today would have been my dad’s 68th birthday. It’s still hard to believe that he is gone. He was the strongest, hardest working, most amazing father I could have ever asked for. He was a single dad in a time when that was barely heard of.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s with only a father at home always came with questions and weird looks, but I never questioned how much I was loved. He went through Hell and back to get and keep us. He was a very strong role model and always made it very clear that my brother and I could do anything we set our minds to. He was also the one that always had our backs. You don’t know how many middle of the night phone calls he received from one of us about a car issue, and he would show up blurry eyed with jumper cables or a jack. I finally repaid him in kind by getting us both AAA.

I remember my first semi-formal and him him teaching me the basic waltz box step. He took me to dance and gymnastics classes, he was there at my school plays even when he would have to split his time between my play and my brother’s band concert. He taught me to throw a spiral and the correct way to throw a punch. He taught me to pump gas and was extremely annoyed when I boycotted learning how to change a tire. Not only because he knew that there would be more late night phone calls, but because he wanted me to be a strong independent person.

When my son was born we were living with him. He had developed very severe diabetes and it had led to even more complications, like stroke, heart disease, and kidney disease. There was many a time that I had to call 911 because he had fallen asleep without eating, or his potassium levels were off, but he was always there for my son and me.

One time, when my son was very small, about 3 months old I was exhausted, up in my room and Jason was just screaming. For those of you that are parents, you know this scream. The one with no answers, they just seem to like the sound of their own frustration. I was trying to feed him, walk with him, rocking him… there was nothing that I could do. The next thing I know, there is my dad walking in and taking my son from me. He just looked at me and said, “You need a nap. This isn’t doing anyone any good.” I was so relieved I’m pretty sure I started crying. My dad bounced with my son for a few seconds and made a shush sound in his ear and the boy was silent. He took him downstairs and I was able to get a couple of minutes of uninterrupted sleep.

As my son got older he loved playing with his Papa. They would do puzzles and go for walks in the woods. My dad introduced him to Doctor Who… though I love the show, I was not thrilled that my 20 month old was asking for screen time for the first time. But looking back I am glad that they had that. Five months later my father would be gone.

The morning that I found him was the worth day of my life. I still have nightmares and a giant empty gap where his talks and laughter used to fill. My father was the one person in my life that I could always count on. He was the one person in my life that I knew my son could count on other than me. Then one night he had an early dinner and forgot to have a snack before bed. His blood sugar dropped in the middle of the night and he never woke up.

As far as ways to go, I guess it wasn’t so bad for him, but for me…. it was horrific. I wasn’t even 40 years old, he was just 65, and my son had only been 2 for one month. All I kept thinking is how my son wouldn’t remember him. My father wouldn’t know the person that baby would grow into. The 2 most important males in my life would never really know each other.

My father was an amazing role model. He taught me so much. Except the correct eating habits. Had he been more careful things would have been very different. Both my brother and I were raised predominantly on fast food. My dad was young, single and a business owner. He was tired of fighting with kids about eating, so he went the easy route. Both my brother and I ended up with horrible habits, and both with weight issues up and down.

Since having my son, and since my father’s death my goal has been to become the most healthy version of myself and to raise the most healthy version of my son. I don’t want to leave him unexpectedly in the middle of the night, and I don’t want him to contend with the struggles of learning new habits later.

I have taken to Integrative Wellness and Life Coaching, because through my life and my struggles I have found that eating habits and wellness has less to do with knowing the right foods to eat or the right exercises to firm up your butt. There are 1000 books, websites, videos… top 10 lists that can educate you on that.. and let’s face it, everyone knows you should eat kale over pizza.

True Wellness in life is about having the right mind set. Wanting to be the best more healthy version of oneself for the richest most fulfilled life. Getting to know your grand kids will feel much better than eating that cake, but unless we change our priorities and our lifestyle, we’ll just be on a yo-yo of life.. with no idea when it could drop.

Love, Uncategorized

I am what I am and that’s all that I am

May 4, 2017May 4, 2017 Katrina Russell

If someone were to ask you, “Who are you?” what would you say?. Most people would respond in a way that either names them or describes them physically. “I am Katrina Russell… I am a woman.I am white. I have blonde hair, for the moment. I am a mom. I am a Life Coach, Blogger, and Public Speaker.” But those are things that I do. Those are ways that I look. That is not WHO I AM.

Who I am is the being, entity, soul, energy, which ever word you feel comfortable with, that lives inside this body. That chooses to do those things. We get so caught up in being judged for who we are that we forget who we are.

My son is four years old. He loves to see pictures of himself and announce to the world that he is “Jason”. He feels very connected to that name, but four years ago it was just a jumbles of sounds that I made that had no relevance to him. He would see himself in the mirror and not know that it was him looking back. He had an immense sense of self, without even knowing his own name.

No one told him who he was when he was born. He knew who he was. That was the only thing that he knew. He had no idea that I was his mama, just that I was there to feed him and smooch him and give him the things that he… as a being wanted and needed.

I look at him now and he has no opinions on the clothes he wears for the most part, as long as he’s not cold or hot. Though he did just pick out his own sneakers for the first time, so he knows what he likes, but doesn’t think about how they look on him as a body. He dances like a freak and laughs and smiles all the while. He doesn’t feel judgement about his movements. He doesn’t worry what other’s think. He is him.

When I think about who I am, sure I am all those things above, but I am all of those things because of genetic accident or someone’s choice. Even my name, though lovely was a choice. We don’t feel like it was. We are our names for as long as we can remember and had no choice in the matter, but someone did. Our parents, guardians, whomever signed the certificate. It was just another choice.

When I think about who I am. I am not tall, I am not a good driver, I am not a fan of Doctor Who…. those are things that I do. When I think about who I am I am strong, I am smart, I am loving, I am an eternal light that knows no bounds. And so are you.

Aleppo, Love, Uncategorized

What makes America great in the first place?

April 28, 2017April 26, 2017 Katrina Russell

This is an actual honest question that I keep asking, and that I never get an answer to. I hear it all the time, “It’s time to make America great again”. First of all, I’m of the mindset that despite it’s flaws America is already pretty great, so what does it mean to make it great “again”.

If the average person was to talk about when America hit it’s prime. When America really blossomed into the great country that we know it to be, it wasn’t during the frontier time when people were dying in droves trying to cross the wild lands. It wasn’t during the time of the old west when gun slingers could mosey on in and shoot up the place. It wasn’t during the Civil War when brother was killing brother. It wasn’t during the roaring 20s when mobsters started bootlegging their booze and causing havoc in the streets. It wasn’t during the Great Depression when people were jumping off buildings so their families could have the life insurance.

The time when America seemed to really shine was about WWII. The amazing men and women who stood up against the evils of hate and destruction. The young people of that time are known as “The Greatest Generation”. They lived through the depression and came out the other side with a sense of pride and humanity. They fought and died to protect the lives of others. To protect the rights of others. They came home and everything changed. College grants were given. The housing market opened up in suburbs. They had babies who became the Hippies of the 60s and 70s who understood that ALL PEOPLE ARE CREATED EQUAL.

Ah, America was great. Americans understood that “With great power came great responsibility” and that it was important to fight for “Truth, Justice, and the American Way!”.

There is a young man who has taken on the thankless task of interviewing the Veterans that are left from WWII. He has created a documentary and believes that it is important for their legacy to be remembered. He believes that we will all be better people if we meet these incredible men and women who were part of saving the world from the Axis of Evil…. that’s what they were called. Because it was understood that they were in fact evil. That killing people by the millions for their religious belief or their disability was in fact evil. He wants to make sure that their stories live forever, and that they didn’t suffer and die for nothing.

Today there are millions more people who are suffering in other countries. Not just Syria or the nations that we hear about because they happen to do business with us, as in the case of ISIS have turned their attention globally. There are many countries in which people are dying everyday. Either through starvation, or raids, or bombings… millions of innocent men, women, and children who are just as important as American men, women, and children but happen to have been born in a different geographical location.

What do you think makes America great? Do you think that we are great because we can all get the newest iPhone? Do you think that America is great because we have the fastest internet service? I believe America is so great, and has always been so great because we were founded on the notion that we are all equal. We were founded on the notion that we should all look out for each other.

If we want to keep America great we have to remember this. We have to remember the comradery that came out of WWII. We have to remember the hippies who said “make love not war”. We have to remember our founding fathers who said all people were, “endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”. We have to remember our Presidents who said, “ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”.

A lot of people take this last one to mean that no one should be given a free handout… but that’s a misinterpretation. What it means is that no one person should think that they are better than the whole. That in order for this country to succeed those who have need to take care of those who either do not have or can not have for themselves. That it is our job as Americans who have become strong and powerful to take care of the weak and needing.

You can use Christianity or just Humanity as your understanding of this statement. A good Christian, or a good person, helps those in need. They don’t hoard greedily while others suffer. They don’t judge others who may think or feel different from themselves… or look or love differently either.

People say that this country was founded on Christian ideals.. and that we need to keep God in our laws and our schools. Ok, well, God and Christ said to love thy neighbor. To not judge lest ye be judged. To give unto others.

What makes your America great?

Love, Uncategorized

The real reason your thoughts create your reality

April 27, 2017April 26, 2017 Katrina Russell

This is not a new concept. People have been saying this for centuries. What you think about is what determines your reality. There are soothsayers and psychics and scientists that will all tell you the same thing for their own reasons.

You have to manifest your destiny. You have to see what you want in your minds eye in order to create the life you want in reality. You have to make a vision board. You have to meditate daily. You have to journal. You have to create the right vibrational frequency. There is all kinds of advice out there for what you HAVE to do in order to create the life that you desire.

Then there are the skeptics. The you just have to work hard. You have to set goals. You have to get an education. You can’t just dream about things and make them happen. You have to be willing to get your hands dirty.

All I have to say is, they’re right. All of them.

You have to decide what you want. You have to decide how you want to achieve your goal. You have to have a clear picture of what your dream is. You have to stay focused on said dream through all other distraction. Then you have to set goals, work hard and get your hands dirty.

Tony Robbins has a bit in his speeches in which he tells everyone to look around the room and notice everything that is the color brown. Then he tells them to close their eyes and picture everything that’s green. Well, they have no idea. They weren’t looking for green things. How are they supposed to know?

It’s the same thing in life. If you decide that you want to be a kick ass Real Estate agent, and you aren’t going to stop until you are making millions and at the top of your field. Unless you start off with your daddy giving you millions and the banks funding your every move, you are going to have to hustle. You are going to have to live breath and sleep Real Estate. But here’s the thing, when you really decide that this is your focus it becomes easy. Suddenly you’re noticing people all around you talking about selling their houses. You’ll notice the “for sale by owner” signs. You’ll overhear people talking about how they can’t find that perfect ranch with 4 bedrooms and a Jacuzzi in the back.

Your brain picks up on what you want it to pick up on. If you decide that you want the perfect relationship and you really think about what the perfect relationship means to you. What it is.. and more importantly, what it is not. You will start to notice the red flags and beacons every where. You’ll notice when you’re on a date that the man pays a little too much attention to his phone, or the TV over your head. You’ll notice that men that are driven in their careers aren’t usually the ones out at the bars on a Tuesday night. If you want kids you’ll notice that when your interest is around their nephew he barely gives him a second glance.

People are creatures of habit. You have to learn to form the right habits to get what you want to achieve. If you want to lose weight and all you focus on is how much you miss chocolate.. that’s not going to help you. If you decide that you want an active and fit lifestyle and not just to loose weight you’ll start noticing all the outdoor activities there are in your community and how much fun the new “pound” sensation is then you’re more apt to reach your target and stay there.

You have to make the decision. You have to fully commit to change. You have to re-train your brain to take on new habits and new opportunities. Your brain wants to stay complacent. Your brain wants to be happy doing what it’s always done. If you really want to succeed. If you really want to change your life.. you have to actually become what you’re envisioning. Not just hope for the best. Not just try a few things. You have to be the change.