motherhood – Page 7 – Katrina Michelle Russell

What do you mean by pro-life?

May 16, 2017May 15, 2017 Katrina Russell

This has been a hot topic in the US for decades. Pro-Lifers protesting with signs and pictures of dead fetuses and babies. Declaring Planned Parenthood as a slaughter house for the unborn. Calling women and doctors murderers. These, mostly Christian, high moral individuals take all life as sacred… or mostly, kind of.

I was at a community gathering the other day and there was a lovely woman from Planned Parenthood there to talk to those interested about the reality of what her organization does. It wasn’t her normal gig. Normally she was one of their lawyers who fight for the rights of their patients and doctors alike, but with all the misinformation, or “alternative” facts going about, the organization has chosen to be out in full force to educate and answer questions.

Most people think that Planned Parenthood is an abortion clinic and that’s all they do there. When there is discussions about birth control people start a tirade about how they don’t want to pay for other people to use their tax dollars to abort babies as a form of birth control. There is a post going about of people calling PP and asking them about pre-natal care, a service that is not provided at most locations, and therefore assumed that there is no other services that women need.

I don’t know how many of you reading are women, or know women, but there is more to women’s health than pregnancy. I didn’t get pregnant till I was 36, and yet had been seeing a Gynecologist for almost 20 years at that point. There are yearly pap-screenings, which include cancer checks, as well as checks for irregular growths and cysts. For those who choose there are sexually transmitted disease tests, and actual birth control… not just abortions, but pills, implants, sponges, diaphragms, and which ever one you may choose that works best for you.

I know what you’re thinking, “Why should I pay for some slutty tramp to get tested for STDs?And if you can’t afford birth control then don’t have sex.” Well, let’s just throw the rape word out there to start with. Sometimes women don’t always have a choice.. but let’s say they do. Let’s say they are a lovely college student whose parents have died… who has been dating a man who she has known for a year and are planning to marry…. is it ok for her to have sex? Is it ok for her not to get pregnant? Let’s say that wonderful man isn’t as wonderful as she thinks and is running around on her and gets an STD…

Maybe no one should have sex at all… and if you have sex before you are married and not for the reasons of having children then you should die… and so should the child, because you do not deserve screening for STDs and cancer which could not only kill you but damage the unborn child… so in reality… you’re only pro-“people whose lifestyle I approve with” life.

Now let’s go the other side… Planned Parenthood is the reason for abortions… ahh.. actually abortion rates are down even lower than before Roe vs Wade was passed… and that’s only the ones that were reported. Planned Parenthood chose a name that should be self explanatory. They help women choose and plan when they become parents. They educate women on their bodies and supply birth control to those who would not otherwise be able to afford it, thus creating less unwanted pregnancies, not more abortions.

The biggest misconception about Planned Parenthood is that all they do is abortions and that the government is paying for them, and there is no way to stop that therefore we must defund. Actually only 3% of all services provided are abortion services, and none of that money comes from the federal government. In fact there was an amendment created (The Hyde Amendment) in 1976 that specifically prohibits this. In fact there is no way to actually “defund” Planned Parenthood” outright. There is no line item in the federal budget for them. They are simply a healthcare provider who gets reimbursed by medicare for services that medicare are required to pay for… such as cancer screenings and birth control pills.

Right now everyone is pushing to defund Planned Parenthood and others life it. What you need to realize is that when you vote to defund Planned Parenthood, you are voting to limit healthcare to Medicare recipients. That includes grandma, and the single mom with her kids….. so… not exactly Pro-Life… if you ask me.

parenting, Uncategorized

Eat yourself happy

May 15, 2017May 6, 2017 Katrina Russell

We all talk about our diets in terms of our bodies. Either we want to look better or be healthier or some other physical idea of feeling better. We know that when we look better we feel better. We know that when we get healthy we feel better, but we never talk about how our diets actually affect our mental health.

Most people don’t realize that a good amount of American’s are malnourished. Now, I’m not just talking about those starving and living on the streets. I’m talking about those that live off of fast food and snacks. Have you ever looked at the side panel of the food that

we eat? I don’t just mean the calories, or fat intake. I’m not even talking about the protein or sugar, though they both play a huge role, I’m talking about actual vitamins and minerals. A lot of our packaged foods don’t even have a label for anything more than iron, sodium or maybe potassium.

In the book “Good Omens” by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett they have a modernized version of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. In this “Famine” is not a beast causing droughts or potato plagues he is the owner or a fast food chain. He talks about how he’s killing people slowly with their permission. Not only are they getting fat and causing their own diabetes and heart disease but they don’t even realize that they are malnourished. Because they are full.

There has been a link made to too much sugar and worsening symptoms of depression and schizophrenia. Not enough zinc and Omega fatty acid can affect brain development in general. This is why breastfeeding is the preferred way to feed babies, and the recommendations are changing and saying it’s best to give children breast milk till they’re 3. My son stopped on his own a little over one, so I changed to a toddle formula that included DHA and other nutrients that milk doesn’t have and that I know my son would fight me in eating.

There is an add that pops up on my facebook feed all the time about Micro-nutrients and how important they are for children with ADD/ADHD and other behavior problems. This isn’t a lie. The whole point of the add is to sell some special high micro-nutrient shake for way too much money to worried moms, but in reality micro-nutrients are just vitamins and minerals found in REAL food. Unprocessed fruits, veggies, and meats.

So by all means if you have a kid like mine who goes days living off of crackers and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, then absolutely invest in a shake, or a vitamin, or cover your fruit with chocolate, what ever gets your kids to eat them. But as a grown up, you have the choice to make about what you want to eat. So instead of always reaching for the pills or the chocolate or whatever helps your mood swings and depression, try talking to your doctor about which vitamins are best to help. And a little cardio can’t hurt.

bullying, parenting, Uncategorized

If we don’t help our kids who will?

May 10, 2017April 5, 2024 Katrina Russell

When did childhood suicide become so prevalent that it needed new and more research to track the reasons why? When did life get so bad for 5 year old’s that they are actually part of this research group? And what the Hell are we going to do about it?

As you may have guessed new research has come out about teen suicides and suicidal thoughts, This research says, surprise, surprise, that most of this happens during the school year. You know, when they are supposedly surrounded by their friends and peers. When they spend the day with child development professionals and have access to child therapists in the same building.

Yes, this is when most kids want to kill themselves. Not when they are home during the summers with their parents. This is not a case of abuse at home, or am underlying depression that seeps in.. this is torment, ridicule, and then victim blaming on top of it all.

Now, I know that bullying is almost a right of passage. It’s cliche that the big kid in school will beat up the smaller ones for lunch money. It’s almost a learning experience on both sides to figure out how to work this out. Bart Simpson befriended Nelson, and Ralphy kicked the crap out of Scut Farkus, and things were handled.

That was normal growing pains bullying that has occurred for as long as their have been kids. Now there is the internet. Now bullying is public and permanent. A 15 year old had cheerleader “friends” take video of her in the shower and posted it on social media.. that is not a little joke.. that is grotesque.. and illegal.. as she was under 18. Were the cheerleaders punished? Nope, no one wanted to ruin camp. On top of that they used the coach’s phone to take the video and the coach told her to apologize to the bullies for making a big deal about the joke.. guess what? That’s an accomplice to a felony of child endangerment and child porn. Did the school later back the child… nope… they wouldn’t even give her her transfer records, so she could leave the school, unless she absolved them of any wrong doing.

Things like this are happening everyday and even when we teach our children to stand up to their bullies they are the ones being punished. I could only imagine if she decided to give them a good punch in the nose. We as parents, and human beings, have to stop marginalizing abuse. We have to stop glorifying bullies and crappy behavior. We have to start setting a good example and teaching our children, not only to stand up for themselves, but that we have their backs… or we’ll end up burying the whole of them.

Politics, Uncategorized

Why being raped is a pre-existing condition

May 9, 2017 Katrina Russell

So the GOP House passed a new health care plan.. without reading it or really thinking it through. They have decided that people pre-existing conditions should be put in a separate pool in which they should be charged more. Of course the point of insurance is to get the healthy people in the same pool as the sick people to keep all of their costs similar, but of course the right-wing Conservative Christians feel they should never help their neighbors but should hoard all of their money and let other’s fend for themselves.

Now, if the Senate passes the proposal, pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition. Their response of course is that women should keep their legs closed if they can’t afford insurance. So, then the question is asked, “What if a woman is raped?” God knows they can’t get an abortion. So they are forced to pay thousands of dollars, get into severe debt, either with the high premiums or the cost of prenatal and delivery… let’s not even get started on if she needs a c-section or there are complications.

Ok, so in this case a rape survivor would be screwed again by the GOP healthcare plan… but what’s the chances of pregnancy… it’s not gonna happen any other way. Well, I saw a video online about a woman who was raped in her own bed… with her young daughter was laying next to her… they are now in therapy. Well, mental health issues (including PTSD) is also considered a pre-existing condition. So she will now be placed in the high money pool and have higher premiums and deductibles.

Now, let’s talk about those who may have contracted HIV or PPV or any of the 100s of other sexually transmitted diseases, by no fault of their own. Or those who developed a substance abuse problem because of the trauma. Or those who were physically hurt permanently by their attacker….. but no… it doesn’t affect rape victims.

I’m not even going to get into the medicare problem… poor women and children don’t deserve healthcare anyway… GO PRO-LIFE!

Love, parenting, Uncategorized

The day my dad died I knew I had to change my life or I’d be joining him.

May 8, 2017May 6, 2017 Katrina Russell

Today would have been my dad’s 68th birthday. It’s still hard to believe that he is gone. He was the strongest, hardest working, most amazing father I could have ever asked for. He was a single dad in a time when that was barely heard of.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s with only a father at home always came with questions and weird looks, but I never questioned how much I was loved. He went through Hell and back to get and keep us. He was a very strong role model and always made it very clear that my brother and I could do anything we set our minds to. He was also the one that always had our backs. You don’t know how many middle of the night phone calls he received from one of us about a car issue, and he would show up blurry eyed with jumper cables or a jack. I finally repaid him in kind by getting us both AAA.

I remember my first semi-formal and him him teaching me the basic waltz box step. He took me to dance and gymnastics classes, he was there at my school plays even when he would have to split his time between my play and my brother’s band concert. He taught me to throw a spiral and the correct way to throw a punch. He taught me to pump gas and was extremely annoyed when I boycotted learning how to change a tire. Not only because he knew that there would be more late night phone calls, but because he wanted me to be a strong independent person.

When my son was born we were living with him. He had developed very severe diabetes and it had led to even more complications, like stroke, heart disease, and kidney disease. There was many a time that I had to call 911 because he had fallen asleep without eating, or his potassium levels were off, but he was always there for my son and me.

One time, when my son was very small, about 3 months old I was exhausted, up in my room and Jason was just screaming. For those of you that are parents, you know this scream. The one with no answers, they just seem to like the sound of their own frustration. I was trying to feed him, walk with him, rocking him… there was nothing that I could do. The next thing I know, there is my dad walking in and taking my son from me. He just looked at me and said, “You need a nap. This isn’t doing anyone any good.” I was so relieved I’m pretty sure I started crying. My dad bounced with my son for a few seconds and made a shush sound in his ear and the boy was silent. He took him downstairs and I was able to get a couple of minutes of uninterrupted sleep.

As my son got older he loved playing with his Papa. They would do puzzles and go for walks in the woods. My dad introduced him to Doctor Who… though I love the show, I was not thrilled that my 20 month old was asking for screen time for the first time. But looking back I am glad that they had that. Five months later my father would be gone.

The morning that I found him was the worth day of my life. I still have nightmares and a giant empty gap where his talks and laughter used to fill. My father was the one person in my life that I could always count on. He was the one person in my life that I knew my son could count on other than me. Then one night he had an early dinner and forgot to have a snack before bed. His blood sugar dropped in the middle of the night and he never woke up.

As far as ways to go, I guess it wasn’t so bad for him, but for me…. it was horrific. I wasn’t even 40 years old, he was just 65, and my son had only been 2 for one month. All I kept thinking is how my son wouldn’t remember him. My father wouldn’t know the person that baby would grow into. The 2 most important males in my life would never really know each other.

My father was an amazing role model. He taught me so much. Except the correct eating habits. Had he been more careful things would have been very different. Both my brother and I were raised predominantly on fast food. My dad was young, single and a business owner. He was tired of fighting with kids about eating, so he went the easy route. Both my brother and I ended up with horrible habits, and both with weight issues up and down.

Since having my son, and since my father’s death my goal has been to become the most healthy version of myself and to raise the most healthy version of my son. I don’t want to leave him unexpectedly in the middle of the night, and I don’t want him to contend with the struggles of learning new habits later.

I have taken to Integrative Wellness and Life Coaching, because through my life and my struggles I have found that eating habits and wellness has less to do with knowing the right foods to eat or the right exercises to firm up your butt. There are 1000 books, websites, videos… top 10 lists that can educate you on that.. and let’s face it, everyone knows you should eat kale over pizza.

True Wellness in life is about having the right mind set. Wanting to be the best more healthy version of oneself for the richest most fulfilled life. Getting to know your grand kids will feel much better than eating that cake, but unless we change our priorities and our lifestyle, we’ll just be on a yo-yo of life.. with no idea when it could drop.

Politics, Uncategorized

Let’s drop the labels and have real conversations

May 5, 2017May 4, 2017 Katrina Russell

I posted on my Facebook account this morning: Conversions with Republicans online: “I’m sorry there are starving children all over the world but we need to worry about the ones here.” The next breath, “Why should I have to pay for welfare or education? This is America, get a job you lazy bum.”

I have a friend who considers herself a republican comment that she believes that poor Americans should be taken care of and that she spends a lot of time volunteering. I have known this woman most of my life and know that she is a good person. I was not talking about her. I was not speaking of people who vote republican for the most part. I was speaking of the actual politicians. The people’s whose jobs are to be Republicans.

I feel that their needs to be a distinction. I, personally, am an Independent. I vote for people and ideas not a political affiliation, and I think that’s the biggest issue that we have in politics right now. There is no longer any compromise. There is an “us vs them” mentality.

This is used for everything in politics, race, sex, income level, everything is designed to keep us blaming and fighting each other. I have spoken to this person before and she believes that Welfare is just a big scam. That there is more fraud going on than actual people who need it because the rich Republicans blame the “foreigners” for tax increases. When in reality only about 3% of federal taxes go to welfare and only about 3% of all recipients have been found committing fraud, but if the rich politicians say that most of the middle classes taxes go towards paying for wars, and government officials and their benefits they would never get reelected.

Most people want to help the hungry and the destitute. Most people would give to the poor or take in the refugee once they got to know the person. The problem is with labels there are no individuals. There are only Muslims, Mexicans, Illegals, Republicans, Democrats, men, women … anyone different than me.

bullying, parenting, Uncategorized

Nothing hurts like a punch in the nose

May 2, 2017May 1, 2017 Katrina Russell

“Nothing hurts like a punch in the nose.” That’s what my father always told us whenever we encountered a bully. My brother swore by them and used this method whenever possible. Eventually he became the bully himself. He is in his mid-forties and still jokes about it.

The other day his son came home and told him that kids at school were teasing him about his eyes. I should mention that he’s half Filipino and half white. He is in a small private school that actually has quite a few students of Asian decent. But my nephew is both White and Asian, so apparently that is something to be teased.

He is also 7 years old. He’s in first grade. He is dealing with bullies and race issues. Now what did my brother tell his sad little boy? “Nothing hurts like a punch in the nose.”

I reminded my so encouraging brother that this isn’t the 70s anymore and most schools have a “No violence” policy. He just laughed it off saying, “it’ll only take once, and no one will bother him again.”

That’s true. Expulsion usually ends school yard problems, but I started thinking about my brother’s reaction. I started thinking about how much things have changed. Now I am in no way condoning children hitting one another, but I do think that we have to teach children to stick up for themselves.

Today we are all about protecting our children from anything that may hurt them or disturb them. We have no tolerance policies. We have safe spaces. We have therapy in colleges for grown adult children who are offended by Halloween costumes… that was a real thing. College students are grown adults. They are over 18 and they needed therapy for Halloween costumes.

I have some friends who are teachers and they tell me that parents come in and argue with teachers about why “they gave their child a bad grade”. They expect the teacher to change the grade because obviously the student is special and brilliant and deserves As… even if they don’t actually do their homework. Even if they don’t pass the test.

Millennials are looking at increasing numbers of overdoses, suicides, and different forms of emotional disabilities. There has been a whole generation of children who were raised on medications, ADHD, anxiety, and depression are common place among kids and teens. Instead of being taught to be self sufficient and stand up for themselves, they are being taught that it’s always someone else’s fault.

School yard bullies have been around for as long as there have been school yards, but the difference is that we’re no longer teaching our children how to deal with the bullies. Now I don’t mean a punch in the nose, but we have rapes in schools that aren’t reported because women are afraid to come forward. We have a first lady saying that she’s taking on internet bullying while her family tweets insults everyone they deem not important.

We can’t change the bullies. Bullies breed new bullies. We have to start teaching our children to be strong. To stand up to bullies. To protect themselves and others. Not with a punch in the nose. But with grace and respect. That’s the only way we can stop bullying.

Uncategorized

Are you choosing weight-loss over health?

May 1, 2017May 1, 2017 Katrina Russell

There is a new diet out every other day to help you lose unwanted fat and become beautiful and desirable.. and so on. If you cut this and eat only that you will drop weight by the ton, but is it actually healthy?

I follow a wonderful fitness “expert” who was giving advice about getting rid of cellulite. I’ve heard this before, but she swears by it. Cut the sugar.. eat more fat. Sugar is a crazy killer and it has been proven over and over. Sugar causes heart disease and diabetes and all the things that you’ve heard, but too much fat can be dangerous too.

She posted that instead of eating oatmeal and fruit that it’s better to eat eggs and avocados for breakfast. Oatmeal… even plain with fruit is nothing but sugar. I remember reading that years ago and I started it straight away. I lost a bit of weight pretty quickly, and then my cholesterol skyrocketed. I commented to her about this and she told me to check out some random book about how to eat fats more healthily.. and I get that. There are different fats that do different things. But there is also one other major difference. She is in her 20s.. I am in my 40s. I have a thyroid condition. I have been over weight for like a decade, she put on some weight after having a baby and took it straight off.

We are all different. We are not one size fits all. All of our bodies breakdown food differently. It’s time we make real educated decisions about our health instead of superficial decisions about what will make our butt look best on the beach? Every new exercise program says right in the beginning, “Check with your doctor before starting”. There are nutritionists for a reason. Years ago I was a vegetarian for 3 years.. I got more and more sick. I went to a nutritionist who told me that I just needed to eat chicken. Not the best advice for a vegetarian, but the idea was there… I needed more protein.

A healthy weight is very important for our bodies, but how we maintain the weight is more important for how we actually live. A nice butt is just a perk.

bullying, Love, parenting, Uncategorized

When does the joke cross the line?

April 26, 2017April 25, 2017 Katrina Russell

I recently saw a joke post about a baby being left in the car and some “Good Samaritans” coming along to save him, only to realize that the baby was wearing a competing sports team shirt so they decided to leave the baby. Now, obviously the baby, though crying and not happy about the joke was not in any danger. At the end you realize that it is clearly staged, and I’m not here to talk about this particular post but more about the comments made on the post.

379B032100000578-3760221-image-a-18_1472223973197 Some people were completely horrified that anyone could even jokingly do anything like that to a child. Others found it in severely bad taste as babies are dying almost everyday under the same circumstance, and yet others thought that the neigh-sayers were just “snowflakes” and needed to get a sense of humor.

There is a mentality out there that people are not allowed to be offended by a joke or allowed to take themselves or the joke seriously. Now, clearly no one was hurt in this particular joke, which is why I’m choosing not to comment on these actions, however.. a joke is not always innocent. Sometimes people get hurt.

In the same week I read another story about a pre-teen girl and her friends who played a joke on her 11 year old “boyfriend”. She [posted on her social media page that she was going to kill herself and her friends backed up the joke by saying that she did. The 11 Boys_Suicide_Social_Media_29927-303e8 year old boy was so distraught by the whole situation that in good ole Romeo and Juliet style he ended up actually killing himself.

This is an example of how a joke CAN very easily go to far. It was one thing to start he joke, it was something else to keep it going after the boy was clearly distraught. The girls in question are now being charged in his death… I don’t know how I feel about that, but I am completely disgusted by the adults who have commented on the page more concerned about “why does an 11 year old have a girlfriend?” and “where were the parents? why weren’t they watching him?”

The whole event took place in about a half hour.. it’s COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE for an 11 year old to be in his room alone for that amount of time. As far as watching his social media accounts.. he was on with other kids from his school not the creepy unknown stalkers who parents are trained to look out for.

There was yet another story about an internet meme of an 11 year old girl that turned very bad very quickly and pretty much ruined her life. Most people would say, “what’s the big deal? It’s just a joke.” It’s not a joke.. this is bullying. And it’s the worst kind of bullying, because it’s not even taken seriously. If someone gets assaulted or their lunch money gets stolen then other’s can empathize. They wouldn’t want that to happen to them. If someone is tormented or trolled as a joke then there is no empathy. There is no understanding. There is just more bullying about how the victim has the problem and needs to learn to lighten up.

I could possibly understand this if it’s done to an adult. I understand that by the time we reach adulthood we need to learn that what other’s do or think shouldn’t bother us.. but these two instances are not adults. Most of the time bullying isn’t. And, yes, a joke at someone else’s expense is mean. It’s bullying and it should not be tolerated.

bullying, parenting, Uncategorized

It’s time to fight for ALL women

April 25, 2017 Katrina Russell

635782283761408764-1021982020_Equality-feminism Feminism has a bad rep. Feminists are known as men hating and “anti-feminine”. They are known to tell women that they can’t want to be stay at home moms. They can’t want to get married. They have to be strong, independent and basically asexual. Though they’re allowed to have as much sex as they want and enjoy it.. they can’t be used by men in the process. Not sure if that means that they have to be lesbians or dominatrices.

The point is none of that is feminism. Feminism by definition 1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. or 2: organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests.

It doesn’t even mention that a feminist has to be a woman. Just an idea and/or movement that men and women should be treated equally and have the right to live life the way they want.

I read an interesting blog recently about how women shouldn’t use feminism to “stick it to other women”. In the same sense it shouldn’t be used to put down men. I have a son. He is only four years old but he is sweet and wonderful and has not quite figured out the difference between a boy and a girl. He understands that “mama doesn’t have a winky” but unless he’s looking in everyone’s pants it’s a tough way to explain that to him.

His favorite toys are his dinosaurs, his cars, painting and his doll house and kitchen set. My father once scowled when I bought him his kitchen set. I caught him right before he made the “those are for girls” statement and said, “right, cuz he’ll never have to learn how to cook, right dad?”. Thankfully my father was not a moron and quickly backtracked before he made his stupid comment and said, “yeah, I guess… when you look at it that way”. But what other way is there to look at it. Toys are designed to teach kids how to do thing. There is a Hell of a lot better chance that he is going to cook his own dinner or clean his own house than there is that he’s going to ride on the dinosaur train.

It is important that we teach our children to be good and strong people. It is important for us to teach our children how to respect others and help out when they can and ask for help when they need.

My nephew has been taught that he is not allowed to cry. He’s only 6. Girls are now starting to be taught the same because they can’t be considered the “weaker sex”. Women have to be more like men. They can’t want to stay home. They can’t like wearing cute dresses. They can’t want to have children and be married. Why? Why can’t a woman do what she wants? Isn’t that kind of the point of feminism? To earn the freedom and the opportunity for both sexes to live the way they want? feminist-male-joseph-gordon-levitt

If my son marries a crazy rich and successful woman and chooses to be a stay at home dad… good on him. If they both choose to work…. and they choose a male nanny… have at it. If he chooses to never get married or have kids, I will be sad, as I love children, but I will understand that it’s his choice, and isn’t that what we’re fighting for?