parenting, Uncategorized

Work it Girl!

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Someone loses a whole lot of weight and someone else says to them, “Oh wow! You look amazing! How did you lose it?”. Seems like a rational question… then the response. “Well, I cut out/down on my sugar intake. Ate more veggies and exercised”, and suddenly the inquiry is lost on deaf ears.

thNo one wants to “do the work” anymore. When you look at the check out line magazines, the random ads on the internet or TV, or a million books in the bookstores and they are all “get….. quick”. It doesn’t matter what it is. Get rich, lose weight… find the perfect man. It’s all about the here and now moment.

If you cut out all carbs… all gluten.. all dairy you will lose weight. Sure… if you stop eating you will lose weight, but it is not sustainable forever. If you take this pill you will lose 10 lbs in a week… yes.. and probably live in the bathroom.. it’s not fat that you’re losing.

Here’s a hint. If you want to be a healthy, fit person.. you have to BE a happy, fit person. Be is actually a verb. You have to do the work. You have to say no to the cake.. mostly. You have to exercise. You have to drink your water and eat your veggies. You have to BE. That is not to say that you can NEVER have cake again. In fact that’s the biggest problem with the crash and trendy diets. They cut things out instead of teaching you how to eat them responsibly. I will say, I joined weight watchers years ago and one of the things that I liked was that you were able to learn the value of foods.. and what is worth the calories and what is not.. but you have to do the work.

If you want to drop 10 lbs to fit into a dress, by all means juice for the week and lose the water weight that helps that pouch out… but don’t expect the to actually help you to lose fat. And always check with a doctor before starting any restrictive diet. They all rack havoc on your body and hormones.

parenting, Uncategorized

Moana missed my mark

I know I’m not going to make any friends with this one, but I just recently saw Moana.. ***Spoiler*** and I have to say, not impressed. Which was sad because I wanted to be. I heard it was so amazing and with all the work I’ve been doing on the quantum world and genetic personality traits.. and how certain behaviors can be passed down those around me thought it would be right up my ally.

th (2)But see those are all the reasons that I didn’t like it. The whole movie is about this young girl who braves all dangers and bounds on an adventure to save her community. It sounds inspiring. But all I saw was a little girl who had a call to the ocean that used any excuse imaginable to try to get out into the deep blue. When she finally gets her chance because the fish are gone, she gets hurt and decides it’s not worth it after-all and gives up.

Then her grandmother, tells her a story and she finds out that the ocean actually chose her for the quest.. she has no skills or knowledge, but is saved repeatedly by the ocean and basically dropped off at her destination.

And what is her destination? To find a great god to help her restore her world to it’s glory. Only the god doesn’t help her… at all. He repeatedly tries to kill her in fact until she points out that he has lost his following and if he wants to be worshiped again then he needs to help her. It seems everyone does everything in this movie for selfish reasons.

I’ll give you she did a good job with the turtle and they all come around at the end… but all in all I found the movie to be very cliche. With Frozen there was some depth to the characters. Elsa left to protect her kingdom. Anna set out to help her sister.. and her kingdom.. neither of them felt like they were the ones who mattered they did these things for selfless reasons and ended up being great because of it.

I feel like this story was written as is Hans and the guy from Weasleton were the heroes.. showing how great they were and getting power in the process. When I see heroes I want them to be winning against all odds and making hard choices for the betterment of man… not because they’re told that they’re supposed to and that they can’t fail because the ocean is doing the hard work for them.

Healthcare, parenting, Politics, Uncategorized

The educated vote is going down with the Dinosaur.

I had an interesting conversation with a Trump supporter today. She said that she wasn’t worried about all the horrible things that he says because she doesn’t think that they’re going to happen. Really? So, you’re glad a person who wants to take food and healthcare away from children, women, and elderly is in office because you’re pretty sure the Democrats won’t let it happen?

How does that even make sense. I pressed her more. She says that she only watches Fox News because all of the other news outlets only talk about all the bad things that are happening, and she doesn’t want to think about it…  WHAT?!?!? Talk about keeping your head in the sand.

th (2)She said her insurance is too high under the Affordable Care Act, and the Republican’s want to repeal it… yes, and put people, like her and her family, who have pre-existing conditions into a pool of their own so that their insurance will go up 10x and those without any health problems will drop.. “well, that won’t happen”. I told her that they have come out and said that anyone who has a pre-existing condition doesn’t deserve good insurance because they couldn’t manage to take care of themselves…. “No one said that….. ok only one guy”… yeah, one guy who happens to be a member of congress.

I told her that they want to cut funding to special programs in public schools… which her child needs and is in a special needs class, “well, that won’t happen”. I told her they want to cut food healthcare for women, including letting employers decide whether or not their employees should have birth control paid for. “That’s has nothing to do with employers.. why should they have a choice?… that won’t happen.”

She’s said she’s more concerned about North Korea dropping a nuke, and that we have toth (1) make sure that they are stopped from making the bombs.. I told her that Trump’s response is making sure that all other countries get the bombs too so that they can bomb them fist if need be. She said that was crazy… no one would want that. I showed her the video… even Saudi Arabia… who he just sold $110B worth of weapons to.

She said that she doesn’t like the Democrats because she saw one of them swear at a rally… Really? But pussy grabbing and telling his rally attendants to “Get him the F**K out of here is ok?

“Well, this is why I don’t watch the news… this stuff is crazy”

Right.. but you keep voting.

parenting, Uncategorized

Children need to learn to be by themselves.

My four year old loves to watch his father play video games. So for a treat his dad went and bought him a couple of Mario games. He thinks he is such a big kid now, and he’s getting really good at them. Mostly. On occasion, however, the crazy video game monster comes out. If any of you have gamers at home then you know what I mean. My ex takes it a bit further than I can only assume most do, he’s been known to throw a controller or two… and I DO NOT want my son taking after him in this area.

20170518_172246.jpgI have no problem with a healthy competitive nature. It’s good. It keeps you motivated, but as soon as my 4 year old starts his outbursts he’s done. I take away the controller, I pause the game, and I tell him that he has to breath. I tell him that he has to calm down if he would like to continue playing. I have used this technique a lot over the last year. When he is in the car on a long ride and needs to get a little break and starts screaming.. I tell him, “If you calm yourself down I will pull into a Dunks and we can take a break.”

I know that he needs the break, but I feel like if I pull over when he’s screaming that will reinforce the wrong behavior. If I tell him that he has to calm down and ask nicely to get what he wants.. then hopefully that will stick.

The funny thing is that now I’ve noticed him doing it on his own. I’ve been floating around the house cleaning or working and I can hear him sitting on the couch whispering to himself “calm down… calm down” while taking deep breaths. I just smile and ask if everything is OK.

He’s actually getting really good at his games, and earlier this week for Memorial Day we went to lunch with his grandmother. She had bought him one of those eye-spy books which has hidden pictures on each page for him to find. She was so impressed by his level of concentration. When he would get frustrated and not be able to find things he would simply ask for help. Usually we would just direct him to which page it was on and that would be enough to get him back on track.

This world has become so fast paced. Everything is at the touch of their little fingertips. It20170414_185526.jpg takes actual purpose to not give them what they want. To make sure that they know how to handle problems, and adversity.. and slow internet connections. I purposefully let the batteries run out, or disconnect the wi-fi, just so that he has to learn how to deal with these things. He has plenty of other things to play with. Even on those long car rides when other’s in my car may want to hand him off a device.. I tell them, “He’s fine.. he’ll figure it out.” and I’ve watched the boy play for 10 mins with straws.

We need to remember to let our children’s brains work and develop, to slow down and connect to the real world. They don’t need to be constantly told what to do and what to think. They don’t need constant stimulation. They need to be happy being with themselves. I know lot’s of adults who need that too.

 

Love, parenting, Uncategorized

What’s your excuse?

We all have them? What’s your excuse for not doing what ever it is that you want so desperately to do? What is your excuse for not asking for the raise, for not asking out that hottie, for not losing the weight, for not being happy?

My weight was always my excuse in the past. It was much easier to blame my failures on a specific almost external problem. If I was just fit then… what ever would happen. I thwould find love. I could get a better job. I could…. whatever. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my brains, my  “real” looks, my ambition. It was just that I was overweight, and as soon as I got in shape my world would be great… I just had other things that took priority over losing weight. I can always do that later.

Then the new excuses start. I have to work. I have school. I have kids.. I have pizza parties. There is always an excuse. The problem is that we don’t actually have an unlimited amount of time to change. We have to make the decisions in our life that will accomplish the goal we desire.

We have to go for the job. We have to ask out the hottie. We have to lose the weight. That takes actual work. I’m asked all the time how I’ve lost weight, as if there’s some trick that I’m hiding from them. I tell them I just eat healthier and exercise more. “UGH… never mind”. Now if I said that I took a magic pill then they would run to the store and try it. But that’s the thing. There is no magic pill. There’s no get rich quick scheme. There’s no love potion. All there is is determination and focus.

There is the decision to change your life. The plan to make it happen and the follow-through to make it to the end. No one has ever made a difference by half-assing. Now one has ever won an Olympic medal by practicing on the weekends. No marriage has ever lasted by ignoring the problems. No company has every become a success by taking too many breaks.

We have to make the big changes. We have to become the person that is… whatever we want to be. We have to develop the habits of the successful person… and we can’t let our excuses rule our destiny.

Politics, Uncategorized

I Wonder when a Woman’s movie will just be a movie?

In case you haven’t heard, there’s a new movie called “Wonder Woman” hitting the theaters… and people are making mountains out of a well, women parts.

This movies is obviously about a woman superhero, but also directed by a woman. There are theaters that have decided to do women only screening. This movie has become a cry for feminism everywhere. Wonder Woman is even on the US postage stamp.

18814269_10155422377091800_7833265679293833956_nThis is both great.. and dangerous. It’s great because in a time of pussy grabbing and defunding women’s healthcare, women need a hero. We need to band together and take back our rights and our self respect… but, if this movie bombs it will just be another check in the boxes of men saying how women can’t do things.

There is also a lot of noise about hypocrisy with the women only screening. On the one hand there are feminists like Emma Watson who are pushing the “gender neutral” award ceremony and then segregating out women only theater screenings leaving men to feel left out. I’m not really sure how to gauge this to be honest. When I had my baby shower my son’s grandmother was actually angry because I wanted it to be women only and she wanted to invite her brothers. She felt like I was specifically shunning her family. A cousin had a Jack n Jill style one the year before.

Of course she failed to notice that I had a family of mostly men, a father with no mother, a brother and no sister… more of their family was actually there than mine, but this wasn’t about whose family got to go. This was about the energy of a baby shower. Usually, women care more about this stuff. Women have a more maternal instinct and fawn over baby clothes and silly games. Men want to watch the game in the corner.

Now not all, but usually. I wanted a traditional shower with estrogen flowing instead of testosterone making jokes about how life was over and get in the beer while you can. I can imagine a women only screening of “Wonder Woman” being quite powerful. A real “I am women, hear me roar” type of moment. I can also seeing men using it as an opportunity to prove that it’s OK to segregate and that “why should they go see that crappy ‘girl’ movie”.

We are all working to have a world without limits. A world where no one feels less than or left out for their sex, and let’s not even get into the Transgender and where they  fit into this argument. I wish a woman could just come out in a movie…. and it would just be a movie.

 

Uncategorized

When getting the wrong advice can make you sick.

I have been following a health coach of my own for a while. She predominantly sells Beach Body products, but she is very inspirational with her message and usually has some great advice. However, she has posted a couple of things that have me a little concerned about the actual health advice she is giving… as there is a difference between getting healthy and losing weight.

She was the one who previ4c5888898817457f9aaff2b94a5be2ebously wrote that it was better to eat high fat breakfasts, like eggs and avocados over low fat carb based breakfast like oatmeal. Now, this may be great advice for those just trying to lose those few extra pounds, or for those in their 20s.. but for those of us in our 40s trying to get our cholesterol in shape.. not so good.

The last couple days she has been writing about insulin resistance and blood sugar level problems. She listed a bunch of symptom’s to insulin resistance. While some of them are on the list (increased thirst, and needing to urinate) most were really more signs of a carb addiction…

🚫 belly fat despite sit ups and healthy lifestyle

🚫 weight plateau despite healthy eating

🚫 carbs reduce your stress, make you less cranky

🚫 crave sugar sugar + carbs

🚫 not satisfied after eating (want sweets)

🚫 urinates in the middle of the night

🚫 swollen belly as day progesses

🚫 worse eyesight at night

🚫 need for a nap after lunch

Then she suggested going on a 48 hour fast to help regulate your insulin resistance… that is actually the WORST thing that you can go. For those with insulin resistance or pre-diabetes the best thing to do is create a very regimented eating schedule to keep your sugars balanced. You are more likely to see severe spikes when you fast or skip meals.

Being a health coach is not easy, but it is important to remember that unless you are a7efee89a1d3eb0dd387c8c4c8a28737c registered dietitian you should not be giving advice on how to counteract real medical problems. And if you have a medical condition, you should not seek advice from randoms on the internet.

Health coaching is about helping people understand their options. Teaching them about the way food breaks down in the body, and making sure to keep them motivated and ready to make the changes that they need. If a person has a medical problem they should be referred out to a medical professional. You can still continue to coach and keep them on target, but you must stay within your wheelhouse, or you could cause more harm than good.

 

 

bullying, Love, parenting, Politics, Uncategorized

When did it become OK to push people?

It’s been all over the news and I’m sure you’ve seen it, but when did it become OK to push people… any people… out of your way? I couldn’t imagine pushing someone out of my way for any reason (aside from my child being in danger).

Who decided that some have the RIGHT to be “Better” than others? Who decided that th (1)some have the RIGHT to toss other’s aside like yesterday’s news? I have a four year old and I have spent the last 3.5 years teaching him to respect other people. To say please and thank you. To say sorry. To “mind his manners”. Did no one bother to do that with THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?

This behavior is just disgusting. This should not be seen among actual grown-up people. This is behavior that would get reprimanded on the school yard, and yet even the man who was pushed was making excuses that “It is natural that the president of the United States is in the front row.” OK, maybe that’s true. Maybe the President of the larger nations should be up in the front for pictures, but does that excuse a PUSH?

Does the President of the United States not have to say, “Excuse me”? Or wait his turn?

There was another few videos circulating this weekend with Trump and Macron, whom thI’m starting to adore… both involving handshakes. One was in a one on one meeting, the other in a large group meet and greet, in which Macron side steps Trump to greet Merkel first.

Both Macron and Merkel have since come out and discussed their feelings about Trump. Macron explained that the handshake “battle” was very intentional and that you have to put a bully in his place, and Merkel announced to the world that the US is no longer someone to depend on. And let’s not forget the UK is skeptical about sharing classified information with the US now.  And the Israeli’s are pissed about Russia.

Is there anyone that Trump hasn’t offended, belittled, or betrayed? Any why is this so acceptable? Why is it that the F**king President of the United States is still being heralded for being a callus bully? And why would anyone be OK with their children growing up to think that he is something to aspire to be?

Love, Uncategorized

The Law of Attraction explained in real terms

Some people don’t like the idea of the “Law of Attraction”. They feel that it seems to woo woo crazy and supernatural.. but I have a question. If I just said the phrase, “You accomplish what you work on” would you think that crazy? The Law of Attraction is all about creating what you think about. Now you can think of it in terms of energy cycles if you choose or you can think of it in terms of tangible things that you work on.

Let’s say there were two people interviewing for the same position. The fist person th (1)walked into the interview and said, “I love this company. I have researched it. I love your business plan and have many great ideas as to how I can help you achieve those plans.” The other person walked in and said, “I really need a job. How much does this pay and what are the hours?” Which person do you think will get the job.

This is sort of an example of The Law of Attraction. You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want. Let’s say you have one person who really wants to be rich. They will do anything to be rich. They try all the get rich quick schemes. They invest in project after project waiting for their big break. The other person really wants to be rich and takes a look at all the people around him that are rich and finds one that does or is close to what he wants to do or be. He starts to learn everything that he can about that person, that field, and becomes an expert. Which one do you think is more likely to get rich.

When my father was alive it used to drive him crazy when I would say that I was tired. He would respond, “Of course you are. You keep telling yourself that you are” and it’s true. It’s a form or brainwashing. We concentrate really hard on many things in life. Some good, some bad, and the things that we concentrate on are the things that we accomplish. This is not magic. This is common sense.

So instead of concentrating on all the reasons why we can’t do things. Why things are so hard and things are so impossible to accomplish. We should look to the people who have already accomplished those things.. and learn from them. It can be done.

Love, Politics, Uncategorized

Feminism creates Supergirls

Supergirl….  the epitome of girl power in my opinion (sorry Wonder Woman) is now on the CW, and it is hitting all the demographics and is extremely political… if you haven’t seen it I highly recommend checking it out. It is based on a different Earth where illegal aliens have a whole different meaning.. but the message is the same. Most are innocent, and most are good.

images (28)This last episode was quite interesting in not only the refugee topic but in women’s issues as well. The president of that United States is payed by Lynda Carter (see Wonder Woman). A female who, coincidentally  is also an illegal alien. The flip of the script, however, is that she is all about protecting her new planet from actual HOSTILE aliens, and understands the difference.

In this last episode a bad girl alien is out to take over the planet… and yada yada yada, and she and her old pal, Cat Grant, (the media mogul that Supergirl works for) actually try to TALK to this women.

Cat Grant actually says straight out that they are women, and have no need to “lay it out and measure it”. That they are capable of handling things in a much more civilized supergirl-recap2manner. That it is the day of the women, and even references the T-Shirts. I, personally, love Cat Grant and all of the strong women on this show. The lead agent is not a man, but Supergirl’s sister (adopted). The lead cop is also a woman. There is no Lex Luthor, the main Luthors are his mother and sister. This show is all about girl power and kicking ass with compassion.

That being said, they also have strong male characters. When the show starts we join Kara (Supergirl) and her two best friends James and Winn who are there to support her. But they don’t just live in the background. They become their own super-heroes in their own way.

Though the series starts with Supergirl feeling less than to her super cousin, Superman, she gets the support that she needs from her female boss (Miss Grant), her sister, and even Lena Luthor. They don’t back stab. They don’t betray. They don’t throw each other under the bus… which would be pointless in the case of Supergirl I guess. It’s interesting to see that it takes a show about an alternate universe to give credence to feminism and equality.