She said that she had to be ready to die to create a new life for herself. Now I remember thinking this long ago when I thought about those who were suicidal and how the thought of feeling so desperate that they had to die instead of just leaving everything behind and starting anew, and that's basically what she was saying. She wasn't suicidal, but she had to be ready to let go of her entire past, her world, her friends, and even her identity to become the person that she dreamed of being.
We, as humans, are completely controlled by how brains and our nervous system. Our feelings are just a consequence of glands secreting substances and our neurons firing. If we need to feel happy we need chemicals in our system like Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphins.. so we take artificial ones to trick our brain into being happy.. but our bodies can actually make those chemicals themselves in simple ways. We can think about something happy and we automatically smile and feel better. We can hug someone we love. We can even listen to music.
Why would anyone want to be despondent? Maybe if we all had to get evaluated regularly with our mental health like we do with our physical health.. maybe just maybe... we wouldn't be as sick, on all ends.
Then he asked me why I accepted his request after all of this time, and the truth is that I needed to. I needed to forgive him not for his sake but for my own. I needed to forgive myself for all the time I wasted being angry. I needed to talk to him again to see that he wasn't the devil, but just some guy with just as much damage and confusion in his life as we all have. I had to take my power back.
We never think about the damage that self deprecation actually causes. We think that we're helping. Next time you find yourself hearing these words in your head think about how you would feel if someone ever said them to your kids or your parents. Think about whether or not you would ever say those words to someone you love... and... don't you deserve the same love?
If you want to be healthy.. you have to BE HEALTHY. If you want to be rich, you have to do the work.. you have to find your niche, you have to take a chance. If you want a fabulous relationship.. you have to let go of the old ones. You can't change other people.. and you can't change your life without... CHANGING YOUR LIFE.
Those who are successful already tell themselves these things. They already believe it. I use the example, say someone hands you a puzzle, one of those brain teasing 3 dimensional puzzles, and says, "I think it has all the pieces". You may spend some time trying to put it together and if it gets too difficult you may say, "It must be missing some pieces.. this isn't working", but if they tell you that all the pieces are there you will be more willing to put in the extra effort because you know that it is solvable. Then there are others that will keep trying till it works regardless. If you are sure that you can do something you are more likely to accomplish your goal.
If you are on your path to a healthier you. Whether it's weight-loss, substance abuse, or even getting a better job, be careful of your peers. Be careful of those who seem to always lead you down the path of the dark side... with those cookies. You know the voices that you hear in your head that say it's ok... you can just have one... well, they are hard enough to ignore. When you hear them from those who love you it's even more challenging.
We treat drug addicts like criminals.. and believe that even criminals should be allowed guns... and yet.. no one wants to help any of these people. I'm not even talking about politicians. They are a small part of what this country is made up of. We need to start making changes ourselves. We need to start thinking about ALL of our citizens. We need to think about addicts... and the school children who have to practice safety measures in case of shootings. We need to think about the lives that we are leaving our children.
Now, I don't KNOW that's true. I don't KNOW that my father isn't just the pile of ashes in the urn on my piano and that's all that's left... but I do know.. that doesn't comfort me, and it doesn't comfort my 4 year old.... and doesn't hurt anyone to for us to believe that Papa is watching and proud of us.